OMG! I am the jealous one, big time. Not over my SS11, because he's like my own son. I hate the BM with a passion. Not that she doesn't warrant the hatred. BUT... having said that - I have noticed, of late - that my jealousy and insecurity harms my relationship with my BF. BIG TIME. So - as a guilty party, may I apologize on your SO's behalf! Remember one thing - at one point in life, you two were eachother's world. You loved eachother enough to have a baby together. Sometimes, for me, that's hard to swallow because I love my BF with every inch of my being and hate the thought of him sharing the miracle of life with anyone but me. :?

One fact that we, as steps, seem to miss is that relationships end. How many BF's or GF's do you go through in a lifetime? It just so happens, you have a tie back to this failed relationship. Your SO and I need our heads examined but we're jealous because we love you (well, in my case, my BF!). I hope the other side perspective gives you a little insight to how he may be feeling. I don't have any bio kids, so there isn't that tension. When our relationship was new, I was a little jealous of my SS11 but that changed when I realized I had no reason to be. I formed my own relationship with him. He needed me as much as he needed his dad. Hang in there. If you need to pick my brain a little more for some more INSANE insight, I am willing! Good luck, honey. Jealousy and Insecurity are my worst traits... and they can put such a strain on even the strongest relationship.

yup, im the jealous one as well, it definatly has to do with my lack of self esteem, but im working on it!! And concerning her, out of sight out of mind seems to be working well.

No, I have no reason to be jealous of someone who literally smells, and is 100lbs heavier than me with saggy boobs and bad breath.

but my SO is way jealous. i cant even speak about ex bfs without him getting the mental eye.

Deleted. Multiple post

I am the jealous one of SD 15. It didn't start that way, but as she got older...
I try never to say anything to give that impression. Last night, I fell and hurt myself. SO rushed over to help me, got me some water and helped me to the couch and I laid down. I noticed after he went to his phone and resumed his txt conversation with her. Its not like he didnt help, but I actually did get upset. He didnt know it though. I guess in my mind I figured he should just sit and attend to me fully and not chat with her even though he had already helped and I didnt need anything at the moment. So yeah, i am the jealous one.

Duplicate post. Sorry!

My husband isn't jealous. My ex lives on the other coast and is not involved. I don't know if he would be jealous if my ex lived close by. I don't think he would be. He knows that I live my life for my family, and want nothing to do with my ex aside from the occasional thing having to do with the kids.

Me, on the other hand, I have jealousies. The way my husband's ex ended their marriage, I know he would never want her again. However, I get jealous that she had so much alone time with him, when all our time is about kids and work. She had vacations, trips back home, a wonderful time with him for years (he is a really, genuinely good man, and I did not have any of the things most people share early in their marriage, such as these special alone times... my ex is an ex for a reason). She was able to wake up beside him, plan her days with him, share her dreams with him... she was able to carry his children, have his support through pregnancies (something else I didn't have, my ex was an ass who left me alone for long stretches-a month or two at a time-during pregnancies) share love for the same child... All this is nothing that can be changed and it's things I have to work on, on my own. But yeah, I do have jealousies.

I'm also the jealous one and I hate feeling like that. I know he would never want her back but I envy the fact she's conceived, carried and given birth to his children and that they will always share that whatever they may think of each other now. We've tried to conceive for three years with no luck, and even though I know she's a nasty, manipulative, abusive bitch I can't help feeling she's still a better woman than me because she was able to give dh what I can't. She's such a waste of space that we have custody of the kids, which means we don't get out enough, and I envy the fact that they had their kid-free time to have a social life and enjoy themselves before the kids came along.

I've also been married before and have a daughter, but she's grown up and left home while his kids are much younger and will be around for years yet. I love dh dearly but the thought of another 10 years of living my life around someone else's kids is a daunting prospect.

He says I'm the love of his life and he only stuck with her because she threatened to take the kids away and not let him see them again if he left (and she's crazy enough to do it). I do believe him (I stuck with my abusive ex for my daughter's sake for far too long), but I can't help feeling resentful that she had him all that time. He went out to work to provide for them (he doesn't work now - I do), she got into debt and he got her out of trouble (I got into debt and he couldn't help me, thanks to her stupidity screwing up his credit), he's not in great health now, but he was very fit and healthy when he was with her - not his fault I know, but it still makes me sad that she had the younger, fitter version of him.

I know a lot of this is down to my own insecurities and I believe him when he says he's much happier with me than he ever was with her. I've had counselling which has helped with my self esteem and confidence, and I have to try my best to put my feelings on one side as I can hardly blame him for the way things turned out - he only did what he felt he had to at the time as I did, and we have to try and enjoy what we have now.

I am jealous of not only my SKs but BM too. But that is only because none of them do any wrong and SO takes up or has every excuse in the book for the way the crap all over me.

We're not jealous of each others exs or our relationships with skids.
For a while DH resented that my kids were involved in so many sports and activities and his all sat home on the couch doing nothing.
I was always very up front that I wanted to attend most events but he never ever had to. However If he was just going to sit home alone, I'd love to have him join me so we could be together. It wasn't about having him attend for my kids. It was about having him be there *with* me. I think he attended 99% of the events that happened when he didn't have his own kids to sit on his couch and watch stupid tv or play games.

Recently, my x sent me a text that said 'GMB, Do you know where DS dress shoes are? He's under the hood of his truck and asked if I'd check with you."

DH asked what GMB stands for... I told him "Good Morning Beautiful" HE DID NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. I had no idea it would matter to him. We've all been fine the past 8 years. No, DH didn't like it at all.