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This is interesting

MyHell's picture

Submitted by MyHell on Sun, 02/18/2007 - 3:45pm

After the big blow out with SD the other night, DH told me that she wrote her mom a letter. This is interesting because they are estranged and do not speak or see one another. BM lives far away and gave her up because she couldn't handle SD, is too lazy to work and is in and out of AA. She has never sent one dime for child support, let alone gifts. DH asked SD if she was thinking about moving in with her mom and she said yes.

I'm sure SD wants to move because there would be no rules... no discipline, no chores, no nothing. She allowed her older kids to drop out of high school so they could work to support her.

I know having SD move would be the worst thing for her in the long run, but the best thing for me as awful as that sounds.

Comments

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Sun, 02/18/2007 - 7:06pm

She's at that age where having an atmosphere with no rules and no expectations sounds WONDERFUL and where staying in a home that does have these things is like a prison, but whether she stays or goes, there's no doubt in my mind that someday she'll understand how good she has it right now with you guys. What does your DH think about all of this? Would he actually let her go? If not, the sure way to prevent it is to contact your state's division of child support enforcement and go after her for unpaid CS. SD can't go live with mom if mom is in jail for non-payment.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

new evil stepmom's picture

Submitted by new evil stepmom on Mon, 02/19/2007 - 9:31pm

is a child allowed to make a parental decision? doesn't the child have to follow whatever the court has ordered? sd should most certainly NOT be allowed to make that decision, she should be forced to stay where the courts decided and face the music. i am so sick of hearing about all of these snot nosed, lazy brats choosing to go where it is easy. what are they going to learn from this? they will learn to run away from situations they are unhappy with instead of staying and dealing/coping with it. if you don't like your job one day, do you quit? some people do, but a better person is formed by getting through a difficult time.

slchance's picture

Submitted by slchance on Mon, 02/19/2007 - 8:18pm

you run the risk of being the bad guy even more if you go after the mom. as sad as it is, she should probably go and learn for herself how bad it will be. She may have no rules there, but she would probably have no one to pay any attention to her either. If you let her make her own mistake and learn from it she will be less likely to rebel in some outrageous way in the future. Explain to her why you and her father think it is not a good idea but tell her that you trust her to make the decision that is best for her.