My SS11 and I are at odds because of a cell phone incident about a month ago. I didn't buy him a phone so he hates me and wishes me dead....that is all well and good because he is nothing but a whiny brat and I prefer that he never come to my house again. Yesterday was Easter and my DH receives a call around 7:00 from a number neither or us knew. DH is a salesman and I thought it might be a sales call ...... although a little strange for a holiday. I was sitting outside enjoying the weather while he checks his messages.....and it is taking him longer than usual I noticed. When he comes to the door I can see that he has been crying. When I ask what is wrong...he tells me that SS11 grandfather hung himself! I really didn't know what to say to this. It would appear that I have no compassion but that is really not the case. I am just numb to death...I lost my father, brother and half-sister all within a 5 year span when I was young. That will harden a person....so I am not very good with consoling people about things like this. BM has called DH because she does not know how to tell SS about it. I am thinking...you have another son (by a different man) as well....who do you want to tell them both? MY DH??? Don't think so.....Then she proceeds to tell DH that she thinks it would be a good idea for SS to come stay with us for a while. Ummmmm.....hell no!!! First off...why would the child want to be with us during this time? If he needs his father for support I can understand that....but to come stay with us for a while and be away from the people he is used to being around the majority of the time??? No that's NOT a good idea.(I have a good feeling she doesn't want to have to put up with him because it is their Spring Break and this would make for a GREAT excuse in her mind) And in most cases...with death comes anger. I don't want an angry kid who I already don't get along with at my house! DH told BM no...we still needed to give it a little time because of the phone issue....I am not over that AT ALL! My problem here is this...I know that DH is going to want SS to come back over at some point. I do feel sorry for the kid losing his grandfather...don't get me wrong. But that does not erase the fact that he was disrespectful to me and needs to apologize for his actions....and although I do feel for him during this time....I still don't want to be around him in the slightest bit! I feel like a terrible person for this but I can't help it....I have cut people out of my life for disrespecting me and even though I realize he is only a child...I KNOW that he is not going to change.... what to do what to do....