I have been reading this website for a while, well I need help.I am dating 58yo who has been married 3X, first wife literally certifiably insane, a BS(31yo)and BioD(28yo) from this, 2nd wife died of cancer, adopted son,and last marriage w/SD(22yo) who was still ahnging around for college money when I met him.I have two Sons(12and 14)we have talked marriage for longtime, bought house togetherlast eyar , he still lives in his house thatwa sfor sale. His SD met me , said I was only going to dupe him and kept insulting me.Told me afourth of whatever he had was hers etc.(he has no retirementjust started company will be years before we knwo if it will pay offand hepays himself $60,000.He was clearly upset trying to maintain a relationship with her since her Biodad died in prison,well little potty mouth whos dad also gave SD's 19yo BFa job at company,noexperience or schooling making over$35000. He was still paying her tuition, paid off her moms car etc(ex left him, moved right in with someone else after her boob job and nursing school were paid for)MY BF is not into thinking about converstaions too long but even saw thatall ugly stuff she said about me was transference from her BM's attributes.Rightafter thsi MyBF had birthady she invited him out but not me and he went, i think there should have been boundaries
I have never been spoken to like thsi SD did and then Ex called to cuss me out and threatened to cometo my jobfor upseting her baby when I did not allow her BD to continue lashing at me and SD went and told mommy on me. MyBF is not good at confrontation, thanksgiving comes(Sd expects to be invited to my house as if nothing appened, her momout of town with aBF),his whole family comes in from out of town, I figure i will haveSD over if the other kids wnat her,I ask his BD if she wants his SD there, says no she is spoiled wench and she said she knew brother would not wnat either,this comes back to bite me later becasue his BD never told her brother or S in law (hope) that i had offered toinvite her so found out later they thoughht I was a bitch for not inviting her.Now looking back i know why Hope was so cold to me.To complicate even more my BF sister works for him and had gatheringFRiafter Thanks and invited SD and her beau beacuse she works with him,knows SD is selfish and immature but says she is maturing(I ahve not seen thsi)All hisother kids lived out of town until SD's BF had the balls at 21 to ask for website he developed for my BF company,paid while he developed and was making$55000by then at 21 yo,My BF just gives him the website, give sit to him and even let's SD's BF's dad who is lawyer make out paperwork,my BF still making same amount. My issue is it is like he will give this SD more then his kids at this time, he admits he doesn't know why.Well we already fighht about her all the time just becasue we never got things settled there,now he gives her BF part of company and I said what about your own kids?At my advioce he offered 32yo BS that job SD's BF just left. he wa ssupposed to be taking care of warehouse but ahd doen crappy job caring more about website ofcourse. Sonmoved here with wife I willcall Hope and 2 yo GD,with awful credit moved in with him and he has offered house for what he bought it for over 10 years ago.He also agve them 2nd car, meanwhile they have made no payments at all, are still bouncing checks and go out reguarly drinking with guess who, SD the wench,Apparently Hope is friend's with her she says theough they have never spoent lots of time together, both ahve dads who ahve been to prison, both have tempers.Hope has punched a hole in wall whenmad car was stolen while she was out drinkingin bad part of town.SD just came to house one night for dinner with BFBS and Hope, his house ,he pays all buills in, last converstaion he had with SD she had told him to F--k off and die,well he was upset his kids would invite over when they know story, Then my BF ex called and cussed him out again, apparently he is suoppsed to let his ex's daughet who disrespected him and wa sallowed to even taught to by mother to still come into HIS house when she wants.(Ex had history of kicking his AdoptS out of house becasue he said something she did not like, which was true by the way!LOLAnyway now his kids in town blame me for making SD "outcast" and on top of all they drink every single day and myBF who has had Addiction isue sin past now drinks reguarly and guess who he gets mean with?Meanwhile his BD decides she doe snot like father of 2nd child because she did not knwo him long before getteing pregannat, calledand said she needed financial help,(he just put new tires on her car and sent extra cash month before)We ahve alarge house note, he is paying all expenses over there and half mortgage over here,D in law Hope has told me twice her husband ,(My BF BS ) had to take pay cut to move heer, yes ,true $4000a year which i think paying all moving expenses, living rent free, being atken out to nice restaurants constantly and free car should more then make up difference!Hope and SS hear SD's side but not mine and my BF never defend sme and now drinking he goes into his bedroom and yells at me and curses me on the phone,Hope even told me she had heard this, he is defending all their actions , feels guilt for not being around them growing up but ex took them to other state to be with a man and he paid over 60% of his earnings to arise them.
Time for guilt to be taken over by parenting now in my opinion. My sons by the way have been nothing but respectful to him,another thing is last time I just driopped by Hope was drunk, i had my 12yo s and his friend I ahd just pickd up at party. she said she knew we ahted each other(great,I did not know until then!LOL)and that she wanted my sons to spend more time with her daughter who just turned 3.She had been mad when I would not babaysit 3 months ago becasue my oldest was turning 14 and wa shaving abunch of boys over ,only emails BF about babysitting now like I am not in his life.Am I crazy fro wanting this to work or should I sale house and run???I love this man but he is notcommunivating with me about my hurt over SD or how he disrespects me in front of kids who I believe like him drunk to take advantage of his generosuty, he is good ole dad to them, and when I say 4 drinks or more is a drinking problem by the way ,they all think I am a judgemental bitch.Am I?