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My own mom is acting like "that BM". What do I do?

newbiestepmom25's picture

My SM called and told me she want's to come down within the next two weeks to hang out and see baby because she hasn't been able to see him sense he was like a month old. My dad probably won't be able to come with her because he has a lot to tend to with the farm which is always his excuse and it hurts but that is another blog another day lol. Anyways my SM is a girl after my own heart I have gotten close with her over the last 10 years. I enjoy her company and I honestly have more in common with her than my own mom. My SM is the sweetest woman on the entire planet never a bad word to say about anyone ever no matter what. My mom hates my SM growing up she would always tell me and my brother to remember who our real mom is but would turn around and say " look at your SD you should call him dad he does so much for you". I never called my SM mom but in my heart I look up to her like a mother figure.

I told my mom my SM was going to be in town and she told me to tell her when so she won't come over. My mom can not look my SM in the eye. I wish my mom would grow up. I love my mom to death don't get me wrong my mom is my mommy and I love that woman but the way she treats my SM bugs me. My mom is vey kind and motherly until my SM comes around then she gets jealous and nasty. My SM is always nice to my mom and tried to make friends with her but my mom doesn't play nice. My dad and my SD have went out to wing joints together and watched football games together. They eve pop a beer and talk like buds when my dad is in town. My dad is a chill fellow with everyone. Why can't my mom just relax and get to know my SM. Its been almost 15 years goodness.

I find it funny that my mom always has her two cents to give me about being a SM but won't open her eyes to see that my SM is all of those things and more. Should I just give up and let my mom be her and just ignore it or should I try to get her to see how great my SM is?

Comments

myspoonistoobig's picture

Unless there is a serious confrontation about it, no.

But if there is? Everything I ever learned about family from my mother I would throw right back in her face. Everything she taught me about being an adult I'd itemize and tell her all of the ways in which she's being the worst example in the world.

But, if my mom acted like that I'd be worried that she was developing early onset of dementia, so it's not something I'm very experienced with.

myspoonistoobig's picture

However, in the context of the rest of the post, the "Don't forget who your real mom is," "You should call SD, Dad." etc. I think it's safe to say that this is a little bit more than simple preference.

Not that anyone should be pushing for buddy buddy.

Just not saying shitty things about SM to the OP would be a big step.

newbiestepmom25's picture

I understand that. But its not just personal preference its about my mom always talking crap and being rude and even if she doesn't come over she will find a way to be passive aggressively mean. Trust me I know my mom.

I would not want to be in a room alone with either of my BM's because they treat me like dog poop and smell like ball sweat but if they had even an ounce of my SM's heart and kindness I would not mind being around them I also have tried to be nice to them both I never just right off the bat decide I don't like someone and treat them like crap for the next 15 years.

Ugh you can't fully understand but you are right if she doesn't want to come over that is her choice.