O.T/ Is it ok to overstepp with someone elses parenting in your house?
My brother's girlfriend is here because she asked me to help her throw a surprise party for my brother. I really don't like her at all but I'm biting the bullet for my brother. She arrived in a barely there tube dress with all over her tattoos showing and I hope she has on underwear because if she bends over I might see more of her than I ever wanted to. She is only 22 with a five year old and two year old (neither from my brother) . I'm not judging her for having kids but her parenting skills are lacking. The two year old came over in nothing but a dirty t-shirt and a heavy diaper no pants or shoes with snot running down his face. The five year old smelled really bad and his clothes were stained with food and she kept letting him sneeze huge snot bubbles licking them up while she did nothing about it just sits on the couch on her phone.
SS5 and her 2 year old where fighting over a toy I told her I could handle it and she charged over grabbed the two year old by his arm and smacked his legs and bottom. I feel like offering to let her boys wear some of SS5's old clothes and I almost want to go out and buy her two year old some clean papers or pull ups. I really want to tell her no spankings at my house but I know that would be way overstepping.
Is there anything I can do with overstepping and making her mad and in turn making my brother pissed t me or should I just keep my mouth shut?
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If it's at your house, I
If it's at your house, I would not only NOT shut my mouth but tell my brother QUIETLY to correct the situation or you will. When it comes to your home, you are the QUEEN of all you survey however, if DB's children are acting like dolts, talk to him quietly about the situation.
If it gets out of hand though, I would not only over step my bounds but I would tell my brother that, until his children are old enough to behave, they aren't allowed in your house. It sounds like, from what I'm reading, there are issues that need to be discussed with your brother and SIL in regards to caring for their children.
She isn't my SIL(yet
She isn't my SIL(yet *eyeroll*) and they aren't my brother's kids. She is his girlfriend. My brother isn't here right now he is at work and we are planning his party just to clarify.
Hmmmmm, this is a tough one.
Hmmmmm, this is a tough one. Yes it's YOUR house, but those are HER kids. How would you feel if someone told you how to discipline your children?
You can gently say, "Hey brother's GF, I have a ton of clothes that my son outgrew. He hardly ever wore them, let's see if they fit your son, I think he might like them, there are a couple of spiderman T-shirts in there." When the kids fight over toys, you step in and diffuse the situation.
If they are just too gross for to look at, get a wash cloth and wash their faces. I mean because that snot bubble thing is just nasty. Ew!
I think Bella has it. This
I think Bella has it. This seems the most diplomatic way to solve the issue. Also, if spanking is a big deal, tell your brother how you feel. Maybe he can talk to her.
Depends on the girlfriend,
Depends on the girlfriend, really. These aren't her brother's kids, so I'm not sure how receptive she would be about parenting criticism from either of them.
I say just get through this event and gracefully decline any future requests to host events at your home.
Women like this pay no
Women like this pay no attention to their kids. I doubt she would even notice if you wiped her son's nose or cleaned them up.
When I was living in a house, there was an older man that would come by and offer to do yard work. He appeared quite down on his luck, so I would always pay him to cut the grass. One day he shows up to cut the grass, with his grandson in tow.
The man tells me his daughter just dumped her son on him and would I mind watching him while he cut the grass?
I said no problem.
Grandson was about three years old and filthy, nose full of snott, no shoes, and he had peed his pants.
I took that boy and stripped him down and put him in the tub. I dug up some old clothes of my daughter's that were unisex enough for a boy. I washed the boy in the tub and put the clothes on him and some socks. When the man was done cutting the grass I explained that his grandson had peed his pants so I washed him up and put some new clothes on him. I gave him a bag with the dirty clothes in it and told him he could keep the new clothes.
He thanked and thanked me. The next time he cut my grass for free.
I'm not saying your brother's BF would react the same way, but if she's more interested in her cell phone than wiping her son's nose, I don't think she would even notice if you just stepped in and started helping with the kids. Heck, she'd probably be glad you're doing her job for her.
Ah, no, sorry, NOBODY spanks
Ah, no, sorry, NOBODY spanks or hits or abuses in any way a kid in my house, I don't give a rat's ass who it is, much less in front of my child.