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Should I make BM pay????

newmom01's picture

I saw on the news a while back that you can get into trouble/go to jail for putting your kids in a school that they are not zoned to.

BM has the kids down as living "at grandparents" address. I should call the school and let them know.

i saw on the news that a mom put down the fathers address so that the kid could go to a better school, instead of hers, and she went to jail!

Comments

StarStuff's picture

How tempting. My first thought was YES! But would having to change schools hurt the kids? If not, then go for it. I'm feeling vindictive today }:)

newmom01's picture

they get into trouble all the time for attitude, and talkin back, but this seems to be fine with dh and bm as long as they make good grades :? Lets see when they get to middle school and have geometry and trig and algebra ....lets see how many A's they get then, everybody gets A's in elementary school for napping and coloring and singing the ABC song!

overit2's picture

NOPE, dont' do it!! To be honest if I could circumvent the rules and get my kids to a better school then the one we're FORCED to attend I would in a heartbeat!!!!

I think it' ridiculous that this system forces you to one school-whereas in other countries you CHOSE the school you want to attend and kid takes public transportation there.

It's IDIOTIC the way it's set up-the education system is a fiasco....so we can bus underpriviledged kids from out of the district based on race to different schools they shouldn't attend but we can't go to a better school because of the stupid laws and restrictiosn we have?

GOOD FOR THE MOM...in this case I WOULD not try to mess w/the kids education and school, as tempting as it may be. I think the courts making an example of this mom backfired....it will just bring all this back to light.

Land of the free my arse.....nothing as communist as our current school system. Class warfare at it's finest..you should see what my county has done to our schools. DESTROYED!

overit2's picture

"lets see how many A's they get then, everybody gets A's in elementary school for napping and coloring and singing the ABC song!"

Do you have kids in elementary school by the way?

newmom01's picture

no, I was/am angry, I know they have TAAS test and other things they do learn.... I am just stating that for a big percentage of kids elementary school is not the challenge that middle school and high school is thats all....But I do have kids

newmom01's picture

The bm is really pushing my buttons.....Let her do 1 more thing and Im going to have to get her }:)

Didnt your mother teach you not to go into another womans house when she is not there, ***This is not dh's house I designed and bought this house! befor I met him, so this is my house, so how can he allow her into my home when Im not there!

Well I can still call the school at anytime to report her!

overit2's picture

I know...but do you have kids in 4-5th grade, the 'testing' in schools is an abysmal failure....the no child left behind has made every child to be left behind...the state standardized testing has bastardized teaching and education.

Put undue stress on teachers/kids/parents. Check out the website "The road to nowhere" when you can...a must for parents in the school system now.

If I had the choice my kids would NOT attend the school they are in....if I could afford to move I would, if I could afford private school I would....in essence I'm screwed, and so are my kids. Probably because I'm middle class....like I said, if I were 'underpriviledged' my kids could get bussed to a better school. GRRR...I hate the school system. And I'm sorry but a parent IMO SHOLD be able to chose the school for their child-and even more so in divorce cases...no matter whom the kid lives with. JMO though.

overit2's picture

Don't punish the kids edcuation because of something your DH did..it's HIS fault, not hers!

He was the lazy ass that didn't want to pick the kids up and invited her over...don't get mad at her or punish the kids over this. I KNOW you feel violated and are angry and sometimes it's great to dream of ways to 'punish' bm lol...but step back and don't act on that...I'm tellin you as a mom who desperately wants a better education for my kids (though I haven't done what BM did)...I'm teling you right now...I may have done the same thing had I had the option.

My kids dad is in a better district-but I can't take them there because it's too darn far away-otherwise I might be tempted.

newmom01's picture

Thanks overit ....some people on here dont know how to tell you the truth without making you feel really really bad!

but thanks for the kind honest words. I will have to find another way! I think I have one already!

shielded2009's picture

I'm in the same situation...what I don't like about it is that BM sends SD to the school DS is zoned for. SD is a complete walking tornado, and she's already got a bad reputation...We're going to send DS to a private school so he doesn't have to be negatively affected by SD's bad reputation...

I was tempted to rat her out, but honestly...since we've decided to send DS to another school, I don't care...

overit2's picture

HMMM, I have to wonder if that were my case what I would do...honestly.....i can sit here and tell newbie to not do it-but if my kids had to put up with satans spawn in their school from mom lying I MAY just own up to being hypocritical lol-I might rat her out if private wasn't an option for my kids just to get her away from daily influence on my kids.

Newbie-IF however this doesn't affect your kids then I wouldn't bother with it.

B22S22's picture

Oour BM did this, but honestly I can't say I blame her (she uses our address). The high school my SK's would supposed to go to has been on academic probation with the state for 5 years. If the school hadn't improved this year, it would have gone under state control. It did improve, by something like .5% over the "minimum" passing.

We live in the same school district, but where we live is a different high school, one of the top in the district, then where BM lives.

I told my DH I didn't care if she did that, as long as she didn't "assume" I would be responsible for them every morning/afternoon. She drives them to our addition to get on the bus, or takes them directly to the school. The one time she started making noises about how nobody else helps her with to and from transportation, my DH cut her off at the knees (she was expecting he and I to participate also -- we both work and she doesn't). There's no way either of us could work into OUR schedules getting them to school on time. And so what if I work from home, I have my own 2 children to get ready for school in the morning.

The one thing I do hate though, is if something goes on at school, ours is the number the school has. I really don't care to know that at least one day a week, and sometimes twice, BM can't get them to school until 11am because everyone "overslept". But the school calls here, the "home of record" to leave a recorded message stating the SK's aren't in school and nobody called them in for an excused absence.

DaizyDuke's picture

Sorry, but as a tax payer and an employee in a school district who deals with this all the time, I say call and turn her in. She is sending her children to a school district where she does not pay taxes and thus burdening the tax payers who DO live in that school district. I don't think people understand that when the state figures out aid and such that taxes and students numbers as well as about 3 other pages of calculations are figured into that figure that school district can receive. When people are lying and sending their children willy nilly to whatever district THEY feel they want to attend,it screws up this whole system. Why can't people follow the dang rules?

BM#2 was doing this, she moved out of the district that SS was attending, so when she did, she just gave the district our address (even though SS does not live with us) I sooo wanted to turn her ass in and not so much because it was her, just because I hate it when people just think they can thumb their nose at the law. the only reason I didn't was because I figured if he got booted or they made her pay tuition, she might send him to live with us.... Since then, she has moved back into the district and we have moved out of it so she won't be able to pull that stunt again.

overit2's picture

"When people are lying and sending their children willy nilly to whatever district THEY feel they want to attend,it screws up this whole system. Why can't people follow the dang rules? "

Because this countrys rules on education suck...IMO parents need to rise up and tell them to 'suck it'. Enough is enough when our kids are gettign screwed with shitty education and county issues.

Parents should be able to send their kids where they want-the current division by county/district does NOT work....at least not for most. More of these cases will come up because parents are tired of getting screwed by a failing education system.

Honestly I dont' care-I pay taxes...they go somewhere....it gets used/abused by our state/fed levels, but it's going to bother me that it helps a kid have a better education somewhere else? Mehhh, just me but I have bigger issues w/the taxes paid then this.

DaizyDuke's picture

It doesn't matter if the education laws in the country suck. Guess what, I think that the fact that I can't punch an idiot in the head is a stupid law... trust me there are ALOT of people that need a good punch in the head. But that would be against the law. It is not for me, you or OP's BM to decide which laws are dumb and which are aren't.

Sorry Overit, I know we usually see eye to eye, but this appears to be a hot button for both of us.

overit2's picture

PUnching is a crime that hurts others physically, so it's apples/oranges.

It is a hot topic issue, because the failure of the education system is very alarming...and a LOT of that has to do with the stupid zoning laws and not giving parents options on where to educate your child...unless you can afford private (you would be upper middle class or afluential)....oh, and yeah if you're in section 8 with free lunches you can get bussed to a different/better school.

Like I've said-other countries do MUCH better w/their education system w/out the zoning restrictions-OUR COUNTRY is FAILING students, parents, teachers....and one is to shut up and do nothing about it....people do desperate things when backed against a wall-having a child go to another district compared to so many crimes that actually HURT others is not my list of priorities/complaints I'd have w/parents tryign to do what is best for their child and childs education. Screw this system....I'm sick and tired of takign it up the butt for these stupid laws that screw with my kids!!

MORE AND MORE you will see this kind of thing and backlash against a education system that will implode on itself (Maybe that was the intention of NCLB this whole time?) maybe these things draw attention to a huge problem we have in this country and our 'education system'....dismal failure that it is. About time it gets some attention-even if it takes a few parents being jailed. It takes something big to get people to notice at times. Why should we quitely take it?

As I've said-I don't do this-unfortunately my kids have to sit in a failing school that rapidly over a few years moved from a wonderfully diverse school with good scores to my kids being a minority and have a lot of issues from kids bullying them because of race....all because our county screwed up with Katrina victims and advertising cheap housing in the projects of Philly and NY and bussing out of district kids....back handed deals this county made that has ruined our schools...and we can't sell now w/the current market. I'm screwed. I'm tired of being screwed and following the stupid laws that make it easier to be screwed make sense?

YES it's a hot topic issue.....we just view things differently I guess. SOrry that was a TOTAL side rant lol

overit2's picture

Unfortunately there are no Catholic ones close -and I'm willing to travel a distance....

The tuition on some aren't that bad-but as it is right now I live paycheck to paycheck-there is no way to afford it. If bf and i were to marry and we're splitting bills -and my car payments end this year, it MIGHT be doable...but marrying a -seem to be inching towards guilty daddy- would bring a whole other nasty dimension to deal with. I can't win lol

I will look into scholarships though, that might be worth exploring further.

Disneyfan's picture

If a parent has to lie to ensure their kid gets a great education, so be it.

I moved from NC (wake county)back to NYC because school choice was a joke. Here no one cares about race, sex or income. We have a ton of school choices.

Disneyfan's picture

The GPs are paying taxes. Their grandkids are attending the school their taxes help to support.

Willow2010's picture

You know...My most concern about this is that it is teaching the kids to lie. Way to parent!!

overit2's picture

Yes, I see your point also Willow, believe me, I do...i just think between them 'withholding' and getting a better education when you're cornered like so many are? I can't judge the parents for wanting better for the kids.

LizzieA's picture

My EX wanted me to lie and say my daughter lived in another town/state about 20 miles away at his GF's address because he liked the school better. I refused. In our divorce, she was to go to school where I lived. He could have moved there and I would have considered it but not lying.

Rags's picture

You have two issues to address here.

1) BMs criminal behavior and poor example to her kids.

Damned straight you report her and put her ass in prison. This crap just pisses me off. People pay a ton of money to live in the best school districts and pay increased taxes to give their kids access to those schools. People who do what BM is doing are criminals. They are stealing services that they did not pay for. Fry her ass.

2) DH letting BM in YOUR house ..... cut his nuts off. Or at least let him know that she never enters your home, ever, period under any circumtance.

I am from Texas btw so I get what the issue is that you are frustrated about with BM scalping a district that she does not support.

I know that my perspective on the school district issue is not politically correct but this is an issue that chaps my ass. Not only because I paid a crap load of school taxes for my own Skid to have the best schools available but because the SpermIdiot and SpermGrandMa play this game with the younger three SpermIdiot spawn.

They attend schools in SpermGrandMas disctrict which is in a town 40 miles from the hood where DickHead lives. Yet .... he claims that they live with him so that he can keep his CS obligation to mY Skid down.

You should have seen he, SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa blow a gasket during the last CS modification hearing when we presented subpoena'd school records of the three youngest spawn attending school in SpermGrandMa's district followed by a motion to have the SpermGrandParents income added to DipShit's income for the calculation of CS for my Skid. The judge actually liked the idea. Of course she did not actually implement it but the cracking tear filled whines of the DipShit and the SpermGrandParents when the Judge refused to dismiss our motion were priceless.

Wrong is wrong and scalping hard earned education services from those that actually pay the taxes is just wrong and it is criminal. No less criminal than stealing cable, power or water from your neighbor.

Put her ass in prison.

IMHO of course.