I use to care to go to dropoffs and pickups and then I thought to myself "why?, am I putting myself in this position?" So I quit. One of the best decisions I made last year!!

You are not helping him by doing something that is bad for you. Sometimes we need to put ourselves first. Let him do his dirty work and be the happy bride awaiting his return.

I used to go with BF for each and every switch time. I don't go at all now and it is so much better for me. The less I see of BM, the better. Much less frustration on my part. PLUS, an added benefit, it really does help the BM and BF communicate better concerning the SD, with me not sitting in the car watching EVERY inflection, which I really didn't enjoy anyway. So all around, better for everyone.

I used to not go, but after several Friday and Sunday nights sitting at home wondering what's taking so long, then getting the phone call asking me to fax papers to the sheriff's department, look up phone numbers for this or that, or laws in our state because BM decided to go psycho crazy again, we both decided that it's better if I go. That way, if someone needs to call the cops, run the video camera, call the lawyer, or whatever there's another set of hands and another level head to keep the thinking clear.

It is stressful. Every time we leave I get nervous because of what BM is going to do. I never go anywhere near her house because I have a restraining order against her. Now she's taken up following us after the drop-off to prove that I'm violating my own restraining order, even though I've been told that as long as I'm putting a distance between us and I'm nowhere near her or even within eyeshot/earshot, then it's not a violation. She's taken pictures of us driving through town together and everything. But I just remind myself that it's more important that I be there to support BF and perform whatever duties are needed than be nervous about what BM might do.

My standpoint on this probably isn't a very popular one. The bottom line is that you figure out what's best for YOU. If you don't want to go, don't go.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

DH and I ONLY fought on the exchange days.... those days were tense and unhappy.... we were always waiting for SOMETHING to happen... It didn't stop me from going to the exchanges....

I figured that if I stopped going then BM would think she could push me around by simply throwing a tissy fit...

In addition, BM insists on ALWAYS bringing her mom (who is even worse than her), or her dad, or her sister, or her boyfriend (whomever it may be that day).... I wasn't about to let my DH go by himself and be a sitting duck for BM and one of her 'witnesses' to claim something happened that didn't.... NO WAY!

DH and BM even had an agreement that NO ONE else should come to the exchanges... BM honored that agreement for 1 exchange....

So, I started attending again! I know what shes up to and what little game she is playing.... and its simply not going to work.... not with my DH... not anymore.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda

Nymh , could she be considered in violation of the RO when she follows after the drop-off?

**How seldom we weigh our neighbors in the same balance as ourselves. ~Thomas à Kempis**

I'm always worried DH or BB is going to come up with some lame excuse why DH's son has to stay with us for the weekend rather than going to his mother's. (DH's son lives w/us FT.) Then on pick-up days, I'm always worried DH is going to "forget" to tell me that he has to pick up his son early and ruin our relaxing Sunday. Then there's the holidays and no school days when DH's son is supposed to be with BM. BM is always crying she needs more time with her son and even convinced the boy that he should move in with her at the end of last summer (DH blocked the move). However, when holidays roll around or we don't have school, she always has an excuse of why she can't take him. Need I even say New Year's Eve? Since DH and BM have been separated/divorced six years, she has claimed to have wanted him for that long holiday break but when the calendar hits Dec. 30th, she's scrambling for ways to get rid of him. She has never spent a NYE with her son in those six years.

My situation is different but just as annoying!

If I feel like going for a ride, I do and if not, I don't.