Child Support Hearing Advice...
Hey everyone, quick question….my husband has to go back to court regarding the child support…long story short she went back to try to get an increase and after reviewing all of the information, they actually decreased the amount my husband has to pay…PISSED HER ALL THE WAY OFF!!! So she requested an administrative review of the amended (reduced) order….My question is…should I go to the hearing with him? I want to go to 1. be supportive b/c I know he’s having a hard time with all of this court stuff and 2. b/c I want to see first hand what is said and how it goes (my husband is not to good at giving me the “blow by blow” recap that I’ll be looking for….guess it’s a man thing….). If my presence at the hearing will be in any way perceived as negative (by the judge) then I don’t want to go…what are your experiences? Have you gone to hearings with your husbands or would you plan to go if one came up?
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My Experience
My boyfriend accompanies me to child support hearings but stays outside the courtroom. That way he is there for support for me until the time comes to be before the court. My attorney advised against my boyfriend being with me in front of the judge.
Don't go in to the courtroom, but go...
Be visible to his X, because she still thinks that she can tell your DH what to do. Trust me that she won't when you are with him - they are usually intimidated by the fact that you actually support your husband. Your husband probably doesn't fight back with her very often, because they usually just want to pretend like their X doesn't exist in the first place and will do anything to make them disappear. I always go to court and wait right outside the courtroom. Ask him what happened immediately after court and write it down immediately after the hearing. You can always refer back to your notes for reference later, but chances are you couldn't go in anyway... Congratulations on the reduction, by the way. I just love happy endings...
GO GO GO
I would go and you will probably have to sit outside. I love it when these things happen to good people. My husband had to go back a couple of months ago and she is still waiting for the increase to start and keeps calling child support wanting to know where her money is. The best part is she has to pay some of the medical we were paying everything but now she will have to pay us for mail in and for braces that is after she pays the first 100 per child per year!!! it may not seem like much but then she asked my husband (who by the way used to pay for everything including school clothes, extras etc.) to help pay for volleyball shoes he said i would but you are getting your increase. Don't get me wrong if the children need it fine but don't quit a job you have had for 3 years with great benefits and get a job working one day a week then want more money.
thanks
I go in the courtroom...
It shows that we are a stable family unit and that we support each other. Now before we were married I wouldn't have gone in, but now that I we are I go. I feel that it looks better, I am not bitter, or giving her dirty looks, just there showing we are a unit, and she is alone. The lawyer seemed to think that it was okay, he had no objections.
Thanks....
for the advice and support...I’m definitely gonna go and whether or not I actually go in the courtroom will depend on if they allow me to and the "feel" that I get from my husband regarding how anxious/nervous he is...so I’ll go and play it by ear….I think the decrease was an “in your face” only b/c she was so hell bent on sticking it to him. He’s a great father and she can’t see that through all her jealousy….she was verbally abusive to my husband and that is why he left her (I mean she’d curse him out in front of his family, friends and co-workers…like a SAILOR!)…after he left her he was in a bad place financially (he up and left one day went to the grocery store and stocked the fridge and cabinets, did all the laundry and cleaned the house, packed everything he could fit into his car and left…they were never married) she in turn destroyed his pool table, big screen tv and all of the things he’d left behind so he had to start all over again….so that is where he was at when we first met…living in his sister’s old apartment (her and her husband had just moved out of state) using the furniture she and her husband had left behind…in the three years we’ve been together we’ve both purchased new cars, bought a new house and gotten married….and she’s been “engaged” the entire time…..(date was set for 2/14/06 but it has come and gone..)
Go for it and GO!
Go, even if you have to sit in the back of the courtroom. I would like to hear everything that went on if I was in your shoes. Good for her for starting trouble. Let us know how it went.
It will Depend
Hi Nise,
Depending on the Judge and if your ex's attorney has requested it, she may have requested that you not be allowed to attend the hearing. If you are quiet, then it is possible, all will be well with the Judge, and he will let you go. But if he finds you coaching in any way, you'll be out the door. Usually, your presence will incite the ex even further. These things are never pleasant situations and for one reason or another usually end up being delayed situations and for something that should take about 20 minutes you can usually end up being there at least half a day, and still having to come back again. I almost think that they're designed to strain people's nerves so you'll agree to anything. Sometimes I used to get to go in, and sometimes I had to wait in the hall. But I always went along with my husband for moral support. Albeit, sometimes I could really get the sympathy volume turned up for him because I had been in accidents and was getting around in crutches or was either in arm or leg casts. Of course, that was really annoying to the ex, because it took the focus of the attention off of her!
Good luck!
Regards,
Sweetie
My BF's lawyer had no
My BF's lawyer had no problems with me in court. I attended the settlement conference, sat in the back but his lawyer ended up introducing me to the judge as a "freind of the court" so I could speak to him directly and clarify some rather confusion finanicial records.....which the judge was appreciative of. It cemented my BF's claim for unequal division of sales procedes of their old home .....and caught the "x" in a huge, huge web of lies!!!
She & her lawyer had me banned from the courtroom from that point on...under the pretense that I might be called as a witness in the future and therefore couldn't hear any other testimony....
After the damage I had caused at the first hearing...they, under no circumstances wanted me on the stand in front of a judge. It was kind of funny cause right after they asked me to wait outside the courtroom....her lawyer began asking my BF questions they should've asked me..and he kept saying. I can't answer for her..that's hearsay..she right outside..get her in and ask her. The lawyer kept getting pissed off and was badgering him and the judge kept telling her to leave him alone he can't answer those questions, move on... She was sooo pissed off!!! NO WAY IN HELL WOULD SHE HAVE ME BACK IN COURT TO TESTIFY!!!!
It made them look pretty stupid!
I think my BF knowing I was just outside the door..helped calm his nerves..and give him strength and confidence..in facing her..he did a wonderful job AND WE WON!!!! The judge suspended a $500 month interim spousal support order...our lawyer said its almost impossible to vary an interim order in Nova Scotia....but we researched it..wrote our own affidavits..dug up the case law..filed the case..and at the last minute called the lawyer in to present the case for us!!!!
Sometimes being in court helps....sometimes just being nearby..is support enough.