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BM throws a fit about drop off time but changes times to suit her

notastepyet's picture

Submitted by notastepyet on Tue, 07/08/2014 - 4:56pm

So the last time we had the boys there was an issue with the drop off time where BM assumed we were bring them "home" instead of to the drop off place. So she demands a list of dates and drop off/pick up times and places, which FDH already gave her back in feb when he made his summer schedule. Whatever, done and done.

So this week rolls around and she asks if we could pick them up at a chucky cheese type joint a half hour later and closer to us. FDH says sure fine. Then he asks about getting the boys a day earlier the next time. She says sure fine.

I know why he is being so agreeable
Is because he wanted to get the boys early the next time.....but she already cut our time short this visit because she chose to schedule a dentist appointment on our day.....

I told FDH if it were me I would have said nope meet at drop off place at regular time. We did make her drive to the gas station down the street though instead of meeting at the kid fun place, mainly because bios where in the car and I wasn't having that discussion about why the boys got to go and they didn't.

I ended up having it anyway when ss's got in the car and talked about all the cool things there were at the fun place. Bd6 says "our mom would never let us go. She's too cheap"....(lol) then ss5 chimes in "it doesn't cost any money!" (Nothing ever costs any money in their world. Not Disney, not trips to Florida three times a year, not their iPads.....ect)

So I squash that shit and say fun place DOES cost money your step grand dad paid for it and bd6 FDH and I will discuss going to fun place....we will look at our schedules and see when we might be able to go.

I hate feeling like I am in competition with BMs step dad because the boys do all this fun shit because he foots the bill. I have no problem telling my kids what we can and can't afford.....we am afford to go. Gah. And BM pisses me off. She knows FDH will cave on the times and drop offs most of the time. BM wins again I guess.

Luckily she hasn't been calling and texting the whole time ss's are here. This must be a week she isn't super mom.

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notastepyet's picture

Submitted by notastepyet on Tue, 07/08/2014 - 8:59pm

That sounds like the movie "stepmom" where the Julia Roberts wants to take the step daughter to a concert and the mom says no.....but then takes her and is "so cool" in the eyes of her DD. I feel
For you. That's exactly why I don't really wanna tell BM of any of our plans. Not that she would do any of them anyway because she's allergic to outside....and that's usually always what we do. Outdoor stuff.

And just to clarify it is BMs step dad that pays for everything. My ss's step GRAND dad. (Eye roll)

The problem I have is that I do get jealous sometimes. I'll admit it. I get jealous and angry that my step sons have a father who cares about them, goes above and beyond, continues to battle with their mother over time with them....and all they care about is that step grand-dad does more has more will do more for them.

My girls dads are not in the picture due to their own stupidity. My FDH is the only "father" they have known. And it's sad. I get jealous because FDH and I are doing our best to make this blended family work and sometimes I feel like were doing it right and teaching them good morals and values then they go back to BM and it all goes to shit. I just worry for our future as a family, and I worry about my girls feeling either resentful of the boys being spoiled or resentful of me for not being able to keep up with a woman, er, a man who's not related to is in any way.

It's my own issues, and not much I can do about it other than continue to explain that everything costs money and we need to be grateful for those we have in our lives not for what they can do for us but because they care about us.