You are here

Home alone with skids

notsosureanymore's picture

Submitted by notsosureanymore on Sat, 01/27/2018 - 11:17am

I disengaged over a year ago with ss12 and ss10. DH and I have been at ends about it. I may have taken it too far, but I just don’t know how to be around ss12 without showing my utter distaste for him. DH describes our living situation as him and the skid downstairs, and my apartment upstairs (just so you get a feel for our living situation, it’s a pretty accurate description).

DH decided to work over time today, which I have bee dreading. SS12 is awake for less than 30 minutes before starting a fight with ss10. So I call DH to settle the fight, ss12 loses and gets mad. He throws a temper tantrum and starts throwing things and kicking things. I tell him that he needs to go to his room since he is being disrespectful. He refuses to go. So I tell him that I am going to guide him to his room for him. Once I get him in the room, he slams his head in the door. We just bought our first home, and I get incredibly pissed off about these kids of actions.

DH was calling me during this altercation, and when I called him back I told him what happened. SS12 and the behavior that DH lets him get away with is exactly why I disengaged. DH actually wants me to be more family oriented, and I just don’t know how to when these actions are not stopped. DH refuses to ground SS12 because then he will always be grounded and it doesn’t solve anything, But when I was engaged, this type of attitude was not allowed, and it has difenitly gotten worse.

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sat, 01/27/2018 - 11:26am

UGH

So DH won't discipline SS but let me guess...he doesn't want you to either and/or if you do discipline, he does not back you. Makes you out to be ogre SM and he is fun dad right?

Perfect reason to disengage.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Sat, 01/27/2018 - 11:41am

If you were an actual babysitter, someone he was paying to watch his children, would he treat you the same way?

Would he refuse to discipline his kids or to allow you to discipline them? Or would he find a new sitter?

I think these men need to realize that the reason their kids are so unruly is because they aren’t being disciplined. That they need to be grounded for a couple of weeks to learn some new behaviours.

If you actually love your kids you want them to behave and become decent adults, the way that happens is through discipline.
Hard now, easy later.
Easy now, hard later.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Submitted by SonOfABrisketMaker on Sun, 01/28/2018 - 2:08pm

"DH your child is being violent and self harming. I am afraid for myself and him. Please come home and deal with this or find alternative childcare."

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 01/29/2018 - 1:14am

this is easy, all you have to say to DH -

I will engage the day you are telling your children, if you are not around I will be in charge and they will isten , I will be engaged is there's consequences enforced by you if your children acts like brats...