You are here

Not that it hurt my feelings, but I want your feedback on this.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 2:02pm

Like I said, this is not hurting my feelings, I'm just wondering how you would react if this happened to you, and also your general thoughts on this.

SD called me on mother's day to wish me a happy mother's day. To me it seems that her mother put her up to it. Last year her mom put her up to it and then asked her if "that made her a good mom?" I'm not if you're doing it for other people's validation, no it doesn't. It makes you a "good mother" if you did it to teach your child a lesson of being grateful to those in her life. But this year, SD didn't tell me that her mom asked if it made her a good mom.

Well anyways, now I find out SD got her step dad something for father's day. Same thing she got her own father.... kinda just makes me go, huh?

So she called me on mother's day, and then got get step dad something for father's day, the same thing she got for her dad.

Again, to reiterate, this in no way hurt my feelings, I'm not upset. Just a little confused. I know I'm not SD's mother and doesn't even expect a phone call. So I found her calling me very sweet.

Dh bought me something for mother's day and tried to pass it off as all the kids'presents, but my kids drew me pictures and wrote me poems.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 2:08pm

Meh, I think you have to remember that step dad is BM's husband, so obviously she is going to encourage SD giving him a gift. Thankfully you AREN'T married to BM so BM simply encouraged SD to say Happy Mother's Day.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 2:36pm

It would be so weird to me if BM took her to get something for me. ... honestly I may literally chunk the gift at BM's head.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 2:25pm

It changed before me and dh were together, it was new when she was 5,but she's turning 11 this year

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 2:10pm

It was BMs husband, so of course BM got her daughter to give him a gift. That the mom even made her call you is rather amazing. I think all in all it good.

I stay out of the whole mom dad day thing. I really don't make the kids do anything that does not come from their heart. This year was the first year SD did something for me and no one made her do it. It was sweet.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 2:17pm

I totally appreciated her phone call. Even though it was more than likely BM telling her to call. It's so hard though to say "thank you BM" when she is doing it to look good, fishing for compliments, and causing so much chaos all the time... but all that chaos BM causes isn't SD's fault, she could have said "no", but she called, so I do appreciate it.

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 2:25pm

I don't recall how old your SD is but I do know some kids are just lazy. Last year I took SS9 to buy SO a Christmas present and he picked the first thing he saw and then wanted to look at Pokeman cards.

You SD may have saw something and decided to get two. Kids don't really know what adults want/need.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 5:11pm

Right? It would be like me taking SD out to get her husband a gift... weird right? To me it doesn't make sense.

ltman's picture

Submitted by ltman on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 5:40pm

Maybe it was a 2 for one sale? Lol. At least bm is encouraging SD to honor the hallmark holidays.

Or neither could think what to get him.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Fri, 06/19/2015 - 4:55am

OK, I did not get my feelings hurt, I'm not angry at all.... dogs you even read what I wrote? I just wanted feedback.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Fri, 06/19/2015 - 5:40am

Then you apparently didn't read what I wrote. I had no EXPECTATIONS of SD getting me anything, I never expect SD to call me. Heck i'd rather BM not make her call me. The day is reserved for your mom, not your SM. I'd rather her spend her whole day indulging her mother with chocolates, and jewelry,and spa gift cards, make her breakfast in bed, what ever she wants to do... leave me out of it.

But with that, I think her step dad should be left out of father's day. Let HIS daughter and son celebrate his wonderful daddiness.

But what I think should happen doesn't dictate what happens in BM's home. What happens there is her business, not mine. I was just looking for what other people's opinions were.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Fri, 06/19/2015 - 6:07am

I'm not saying that SD should say that. Or should act that way. And no, she won't be the art all that day. Every father's day weekend (no matter who's time it is) she spends with her father, from Friday to Sunday.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Fri, 06/19/2015 - 6:05am

I truly think BM does it for attention. She leaky asked SD last year (which was the first year SD called me to wish me happy mother's day) if that made her a good mom. Knowing BM and her behavior in the past, she wanted to be praised. That and she doesn't want my house hold to be just about my kids on mother's day, she wants to remind me that SD is important. That my mother's day wouldn't be complete with out a phone call from SD.

omgstop's picture

Submitted by omgstop on Mon, 06/22/2015 - 11:57am

Voldemort has received zero from any of the skids for the past three years. She threw a FIT three years ago and told the sds that if they didn't, "honor her", the next Mother's Day, they would be grounded. LMMFAO. Two years ago she called and complained to Dh that he didn't take the kids out to get her something. Again, LMMFAO. Last there was really no drama to speak of, the kids didn't even acknowledge the day. This year, she spent the day crying because ss said he wanted to come over and hang with his dad and neither ysd or ss wanted to go the the vegan diner she wanted to have lunch at. She did try the pity party on Mother's Day a couple of times, no one cared. At one point Voldey actually pleaded with me to urge her kids into recognizing her on Mother's Day, (maybe a year or two ago). I was like, DAFQ.

I gotta, "Happy Mother's Day!", text from ysd, I'm sure ss wasn't allowed. Voldemort acts like she is cool with me but is super insecure and jealous. Since ysd lives with us, and we're close, she got me a couple of those little planters that you can put on your apartment porch. She got it by herself, no suggestion from dad; it was really sweet and the plants are doing great.

The whole Mother's Day/Father's Day thing is a little much for me. I don't have a good relationship with my own mother or my step-father who raised me and I don't talk to my birth father. My bios call and stuff and if they forget, it really doesn't bother me.

Holy shit I just realized I went off on a tangent and I need to take my Vyvanse. Sorry!

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Mon, 06/22/2015 - 1:32pm

No, don't apologize, I have a bad case of ADD, I get like that,a lot! That's how many of my high school and college essays got to be 6-10 pages long. I appreciate your input, and honestly that is how I feel too. I really wish BM didn't force SD to call me, I really wish dh didn't yell at SD for him thinking she didn't call. It's not a big deal. I was very touched that my kids went all out and drew me pictures and wrote me poems. I was very appreciate that SD called But I never expect anything. Honestly if rather SD only worry about her mother on mother's day.

nunya1983's picture

Submitted by nunya1983 on Mon, 06/22/2015 - 1:32pm

No, don't apologize, I have a bad case of ADD, I get like that,a lot! That's how many of my high school and college essays got to be 6-10 pages long. I appreciate your input, and honestly that is how I feel too. I really wish BM didn't force SD to call me, I really wish dh didn't yell at SD for him thinking she didn't call. It's not a big deal. I was very touched that my kids went all out and drew me pictures and wrote me poems. I was very appreciate that SD called But I never expect anything. Honestly if rather SD only worry about her mother on mother's day.