leave. if things do not improve in my situation I seriously considering it myself.

Similar...left...came back!
They will grow out of it. How often do you see them? How bad is their behavior?
Different situations need different remedies though. They are only nine, girls? Then they will not have time to feel jealous of you because pretty soon they'll be jealous of each other...Boys? They'll go through their 'tough' phase pretty soon and will not want daddy's affections to be so obvious.
Your boyfriend is probably just making the most of their childhood...come to think of it...would they really listen?
Actually, pay some close attention to details. When they behave badly he does let them know, it's more subtle than the naked eye, so to speak. It's a parent child bond that really cannot be surpassed and should NEVER be broken, or tampered with.
It's up to you to set your boundaries though, and to set your 'rules of engagement' so to speak.peak..hey...it's often like a war zone! If you decide to stay then I should tell you it's NOT easy! I love all of ours but, at times, I could have cheerfully kicked their asses 'til their noses bled.
Try not to feel so unhappy too, that will eat away at you and cause YOU problems.
How is he with you when the kids are not around?
You can search your soul all you want to, I did, I left and I came back! Kids grow up, regardless of how they are parented. I am going to recommend you leave the parenting to him, set your boundaries with love and do stuff that makes you happy while he's with his kids.

I'd like you to consider that if they were your bio kids then you'd be only too happy to see them with daddy so you could get peace to do what you want to do! Some dads really do not engage with their kids and leave the 'entertaining' to their step parents.

I would not be happy about the sleeping arrangements though...ours were age 10 and I put my foot down. It became the marital bed! Our girl was the worst and put up the biggest resistance but, in later years, when she was in a relationship her own self she saw how it was and she came and told me she knows why I did what I did on a lot of issues back then. Our twins are 18 now.
I have observed with my own bios and SKids that the kids who are the most clingy grow up to be the most independant!
It's a few precious years in their lives and they really should look back on them with deep love and affection. You and your boyfriend will soon be saying 'where did the time go?'
Create even more fond memories for them, together with your boyfriend. The sleeping thing...you and he do not necessarily have to be 'in bed' to demonstrate your love for each other...right? Need a list of places? LOL I thought not!
Good luck!

I agree with Echo (and Dr. Phil) that the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Given that I'd add one more question to Echo's list:

? 3) Can you live the rest of your life with manipulative, controlling, spoiled children? Can you live the rest of your life knowing what you know and NOT be angry and resentful about his poor parenting?

Here is my compilation of signs that show you should RUN like the WIND!!

1. Does your man allow co-sleeping with his children? (aka the kiddies routinely jump into bed with him at night)

2. Does he have to lie down with them to get them to sleep?

3. Do the children seem somehow "stunted" socially? Do they have poor hygiene habits, eating habits, bedtime habits?

4. Does your man subscribe to the "one big happy family" model? (expects you to love his children as much as or more than him)

5. Does your man have the "inability" to say no to his children?

6. Do his children seem overly "hyperactive" to you?

7. Does your man say "just relax; you worry too much" or "Everything will be just fine" if you bring up a legitimate concern

8. Do the children seem "overly needy" demanding that dad spend 24/7 with them? Do they physically lay all over him and go bonkers when daddy steps out of their peripheral vision?

9. Are they unable to do age appropriate tasks or want dad to do things that could easily be done themselves?

10. Does dad seem overprotective of his children; unwilling to let them try things out on their own?

11. Has dad said things like "I don't want to make waves with the BM b/c it will affect the children" or "we'll take the high road" when faced with blatant BM stepping over boundaries.

12. Has dad said things to you like "you don't like my children" or "you're a child hater" or "my children are afraid of you" or "my children don't like you?" This is code for you are able to see through the manipulation and the children don't like it. . . and frankly he doesn't like the fact that you can see through his children's manipulation either. He'd rather look the other way as opposed to actually parenting because he might "lose" his children to the (almost always) PASinator BM.

Where were u all when I met my DH is my only question... If only if only someone had told me.... Maybe I wouldn't be such a sad, lonely, hateful person thanks to DH, his parenting, the evil stepbrat who is purposely tearing apart my life as DH watches and doesn't say a damn word, his kissing BMs ass and the psycho BM from Hell. My advice to you is to run. No joke. This is the hardest life to have and to have chosen it... Man I must've been stupidly blinded by love x100.

Another thing. If you are pullover when it comes to parenting, disapline, how your time is spent while they are with you and bf, about sharing-expressing your feeling about SKids, putting your foot down, making him listen to your feelings and having to try and force him to do something to change your situation so you can feel better, ect then you will always be a pushover. Your bf and SKids will ALWAYS walk all over you. If from the get go if you talk & things do not change then you have to put your foot down and say "this is how it is going to be or my suitcase is ready and I know where the door is and I will not hesitate to use it. I will not be a doormat. My feelings and the things I need will be acknowledged. I understand kids are to come first but that does not mean that they get to decide how my life is ran. I will not answer to a child. You need to be a parent to your kids, not a friend and I need to be treated as your equal by you and your children. I am not their equal bf. If this is how you want your life to be, ran by children... Fine but I will not be apart of it as much as I love you, I refuse. If I cannot tell your children no, put them in time out, tell them to sleep in their bed, tell them I am the adult and I will pick the movie, if you cannot back me up and parent them as well... Then I'm sorry but I do not see this working. We are the coaches and they are our team. We all try and work together but it is the coaches whom make the decisions, do what is necessary, we have to make them practice to be able to become winners, we have to make them obey and follow rules for them to be able to learn respect, we have to teach them the rules of the game to be able to play fair and not get penalized, we have to show them we are the authority for them to listen and respect us. Without us being their coaches how will they ever learn how to make it in life? You cannot treat me like I am their teammate. When you do that you are teaching them to see me as their equal. What child do you know that obeys, respects, looks upto, ect another child their age? They don't." Sorry I'm rambling... Hopefully my mumbo jumbo helped... Lol.