BM's mother seeks out MIL for a talk
SS called my BF's mother today as she was getting off of work and asked her to come visit him. She gathered up his presents and went to visit him at BM's parents' house (she won't let people inside her own home, go figure). BM was there - MIL said she looked horrible as per usual. Greasy hair and skin like she hadn't bathed in days, no bra, in her pajamas (this was at 4:00PM)...ugh. After MIL had been there for a little bit, BM's mother said she needed to go to the store and left. MIL left shortly after and found BM's mother parked at the end of the road waiting for her.
BM's mother told MIL that she used to believe BM no matter what she said, but that lately there were so many inconsistencies and she felt that BM was using and lying to them (her parents), so she wanted to ask MIL about some things and tell her how things were going since we have no way of knowing. BM has been telling her parents and others that BF hasn't paid her any child support in months and that's why she can't afford to pay her bills (MIL set her straight on that - not only does he pay every month, he's ahead). BM is still claiming that the debt which she defaulted on that caused her parents' bank account to be seized was BF's debt, which it wasn't. BM is (still) claiming that BF has been contacting her to talk about their relationship and how much he misses her. BM's mother said she told her that she needed to get over my BF and find herself a man if that was her problem. MIL told BM's mom that BF is a changed man since he's been with me, a better father, better son, and so much happier and that what BM says couldn't be farther from the truth. BM's mother said that they have been paying BM's electricity bill and buying the groceries. She said that BM hasn't paid her own electricity bill in months and that if it weren't for her parents, BM and SS wouldn't eat.
MIL told BM's mother that she should go to the next court hearing on the 11th and see for herself that BM is telling her nothing but lies. She said that BM is guaranteed to come up with every excuse under the sun for her mother to not go to court with her that day and that she could take that as proof that BM didn't want her present to witness the truth.
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You reap what you sow but it is sad
BM seriously needs help, and it sounds like her mother is starting to see the light. Can you imagine being the BM's mother and having to fess up to her own child's lies. Although what did she want the MIL to do about it or was she just venting to her?
I kind of think...
I kind of think that BM's mother wanted a few things out of the exchange. I believe that she wanted clarity on some of the issues (like whether BF is really witholding money from BM or if that's just another excuse for her not being able to pay her own bills). I also believe that BM's mother wanted to pass along some information through MIL to us about the situation that we wouldn't have been able to get otherwise (like the fact that they're paying BM's electricity bill and buying the groceries). Of course it's all heresay but it does give us some more useful information.
I feel sorry for the lady, because BM's family really are good people and have just been trying to do what is right. BM's father has given up on her, and told BF a few months ago (when he found out that BM was blaming the debt that got her parents' accounts seized on BF when it was really her own debt from after the divorce) that BF needed to get custody of SS and BM needed to be locked up because that is the only way she could learn that what she's doing is wrong.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Got it
So it sounds like BM is playing her own mother as well saying your BF isn't giving her money. That has to be a real kick in the pants given their bank accounts were once seized for her financial irresponsibility. You might've posted elsewhere, but does the BM suffer from an addiction that she doesn't have money and was greasy, in her PJs, and unbathed when MIL last saw her?
RE:
If she does, it's an addicition to laziness and not having a job for 10 months. I know that's harsh but I think it's true. According to BM's mother, BM doesn't even have the money to buy her own medications for her thyroid problems, RA and lupus, and she says BM's not taking any medications at all. Though I could be wrong, she might be doing something that we don't know about.
It's not just that one time that she was like that, too. I asked MIL what BM looked like and if she was wearing a bra because every time I've seen her in the past several months she's looked this way. You would think that if she was so jealous and insecure around me she would at least put on some clothes and a bra when she knew I was going to be around but she never does (and this woman has like monstrous boobs, it's really gross).
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Do you think...
BM's mother would come to court and stand up for ya'll and say what she told your MIL? Seems like you guys might be closer to getting SS than you think. I just hate it for your SS. I think I read in an earlier post that he tends to protect BM. What is his relationship w/ her and what is his relationship with you and his dad?
RE:
I don't know if BM's mother would stand up against her in court, but I do think that she would show up in order to hear the truth if BM would let her.
SS's relationship with BM is... he loves her because she's his mother, but he resents her because she holds him back and uses him as her sounding board. He avoids her as much as possible, he's rude to her, ignores her. BM and her family tell us these things. SS and I get along very well. He wouldn't tell me things that he wouldn't tell his father, so it's not like I'm his confidante or anything. But he does as I ask him to, helps me in the kitchen, includes me, talks to me, etc. He is ALL ABOUT his Dad. They hug and snuggle all the time. SS is always telling his Dad how much he loves him (of course when others can't see because then he gets embarassed).
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Sounds like BM is
back on the smack....
But
BM's never been on drugs that we know of...?
*~So sayeth Nymh~*