Praise and "No Child Left Behind"
SS got his progress report a couple of weeks ago - all A's. A's that I don't think he deserves. You all know that SS has missed at least 20 days of school so far this year due to BM keeping him out of school for no reason, SS pretending to be sick, or him throwing fits and just not wanting to go. He has missed WEEKS of school at a time because he just didn't want to go. SS is considered "special needs" to the school and therefore can miss as many days as are "necessary" and not fail or be considered truant (which I think is a crock of bull$*@* by the way...the kid uses an inhaler at night so he's "special needs"? Yes he was born premature and with a skull abnormality but that was 10 years ago and he has completely recovered from that!). There is a lot of in-class work and homework there that he did not do. He does make up the majority of his assignments but the ones that he decides not to for whatever reason get marked as "excused" and don't count toward his grade.
Yes, I think it's great that even when he misses half the school year he still manages to pull A's in every class. What I don't approve of is the praise he gets for doing so well and no mention of, "let's try to not have so many absences for the next nine weeks." I don't agree that he should be given the choice of whether to make up work, and have the work he doesn't make up "excused" and not count toward his grade. When I was in school, if you missed a day it was YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to make up the work within 3 days. If you didn't, you received a "0" which REALLY affected your grade. I pointed out to BF that SS wouldn't have an A in any of his classes if all of those "excused" assignments were counted as "0". He's probably have more like a C or a D.
I think his mother is reinforcing this type of behavior and teaching him that because he has gone through hardship in his life (when he was born) he deserves special treatment from everyone for the rest of his life. I think it's going to be pretty hard for him to explain to his employer when he grows up that he's missed an entire week of work because he didn't feel like going, and he should be "excused" because he was born premature! It is our job as parents to prepare our children for the real world. All BM is preparing him for is a life of slacking and playing the victim.
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I am in TN too
and my SS has ADHD and this year he has gotten all A's and B's which I do not think he deserves. He does have issues with his academic development in comparison to the other children partly due to the ADHD (children with that statistically show they develop at a slower academic rate) now that is not the only reson. So SS comes home with all A's so BM thinks oh boy that is less time I have to spend doing homework and practicing his reading with him. While H and I see that his reading has come far but still has far to go. Also your comments about BM teaching him that laying out of school and not giving it your all is acceptable and you deserve special treatment because you have had hard times....our BM does the same thing with SS by expressing this verbally and by her own actions of the way she cannot hold down job due to excessive absence and the way she takes advantage of H that he owes her everything. It is sad that they cannot realize that this is such a crucial time for their kids and what they learn now they will take with them forever. It is almost like they are hoping to raise a lazy, non-productive, thinks they are owed something citizen. Then the kids are left we a very harsh reality when the real world does hit. Attention all BM's you are doing your child no service by instilling in them the lazy ways, thoughts that they are owed everything, crappy attitudes, it is ok to lay out and do what I want cause I have had a hard life ways in fact you are harming them more than you will ever know. Case and point I am the middle of 3 girls and my mom rode me and my older sister we were disciplined made to work, cook, clean, be respectful, help others, plus bring home good grades and then my little sister was oh poor baby she is diabetic lets let her have whatever she wants and never discipline her and now my older sister and I are very successul not dependent of anyone and the baby is well let's just put it this way I have nothing good to say about her life so I will say nothing at all.
You ladies should contact
You ladies should contact your state Department of Education and let them know that your special needs children are getting skates on getting work done, and that they are getting A's and that you think they are just being pushed through the system. The Department, if doing their jobs correctly, should look into those school districts and your schools in particular to see what is going on. They get federal funding for these programs, and as such should be doing a better job AND holding the children accountable. I would ask for the Special Education unit w/in your State Department of Education. Trust me.. they take the calls.
Another case of the parent enabling
JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'
little Johnnie or Susie to think the world owes them a living. My SD17 believes this - just ask her! I'm curious to see what's going to happen to these kids when they get in the "real" world -unless you own your own business, no boss is going to put up with the "special" treatment these kids are demanding and getting from the parents. Kids may be able to slide through school & even college, but eventually it will catch up to them.
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ok.. having a teacher that
ok.. having a teacher that goes from class to class w/her.. that is a Special Needs program. This person is there to personally assist your sd in her work assignments and general class help for SD ONLY!! that is special needs. Can your dh call the school district and ask to see her IEP (Individual Education Plan) Those are created when a child is considered special needs, and its the plan in place to educate that child.