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Blog Introduction

observer's picture

Submitted by observer on Fri, 06/14/2013 - 4:37pm

This blog will address the adverse impact step families can have on self esteem and self image. An emphasis will be placed on step family dynamics. The history of step families as well as reasonable and unreasonable expectations will also be considered.

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observer's picture

Submitted by observer on Fri, 06/14/2013 - 9:12pm

Hello!

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Submitted by observer on Fri, 06/14/2013 - 9:12pm

Your story is fascinating. Thank you for sharing it with me!

You bring up interesting ideas. No matter what your intentions are, existing issues, especially when combined biological mother manipulation, can sabotage any semblance of a rewarding relationship with step children. I've experienced your observation myself. I wonder how many of us have discovered this disappointing possibility late in the game.

Your comparison of the consequences of being exposed to one abuser versus a step family situation is brilliant. You should write a book!

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Submitted by observer on Fri, 06/14/2013 - 9:58pm

You raise interesting topics, too! I can see how step family dynamics can impact a relationship between a man and a woman in your story -- along with the impact of expectations. We should explore these idea more together, if you want.

Do you think the fact that you have biological sons of your own has helped how you feel about yourself within a step family? If so, how?

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Submitted by observer on Fri, 06/14/2013 - 11:26pm

It would seem that starting a step parent relationship with a six year old would be a walk in the park. Thanks for touching on some of the factors responsible for difficulties.

How long were you in the relationship when you noticed emotional projections and unpleasant difficulties? Would you say that troubling issues sneaked up on you or did you see them coming?

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Submitted by observer on Fri, 06/14/2013 - 10:42pm

My aim here is self-education, a broadened perspective on step family dynamics and an opportunity to examine this family style objectively. I also want to learn more about the history of this country's growing institution known as a step family. Even the use of the term 'family' can be misleading, especially for someone in a step family.

Boundary violations! That's a great topic.

I heard about something called the bitter ex-wife syndrome. I wish they'd make that an official psychological diagnosis because it appears to cause a lot of long lasting damage.

observer's picture

Submitted by observer on Sat, 06/15/2013 - 8:38pm

I agree with you!

I'm surprised by how many people blindly think it will work perfectly. I was one of them!

Thanks for the extra info and for sharing a bit about your experience.