I don't get it. You say the ex is awesome and is supportive. And it sounds like they only talk for a few minutes and it's only always about their child. What's the problem then?

Honey, that is not jealousy. That is you being disrespected and having valid feelings. I can understand a civil relationship, but lets face it there is no such thing as a man and a woman having that kind of friendship unless they have feelings or are in love. That is how me and my boyfriend talk. All the time, and if he were talking to someone else so often, I would not be happy and would probably break up with him to see if he could rekindle a relationship with the ex. I'm happy to hear she is a nice lady. That is really good. But you need to be with someone who will call you and talk to you all the time.

It sounds like he's talking to her on his time and not his time with you so that's a plus, it sounds like she respects him as a parent and wants him to be involved in his daughters life, that's a plus. There does need to be a boundry or line drawn though. So talk to him about limiting speaking with her except once a month or so since they decided to divorce they are going to have to parent on their own.

Wow, listen to the last bit of advice and you'll be divorced on no time. That's ridiculous! Please don't listen to that nonsense. You have no reason to be jealous. Sounds like things are good between you and your husband and his ex. Why stir up trouble?

Saying there's no such thing as a man and a woman having a civil relationship without feelings of love is just plain stupid! Ask me about that...I can tell you. My husband and his ex are good friends as I am with her too. We've even taken vacations together with her and her new husband. Please ignore those who tell you that an spouse and ex-spouse can't just talk about the kids without it being more than that. If it were, they wouldn't have gotten divorced in the first place. Don't be paranoid like some people are. Keep it up with the needless jealousy and you'll end up divorced and unhappy.

Nah they are married it's time for her husband to put her first and foremost, she doesn't like it, he needs to fix it, 15 year old daughter is not a baby. However I think my DH talks to BM longer then he talks to the kids when they phone eachother a lot of the time, and that's fine with me, she communicates with me more overall though through email, facebook so I have no issues.. and when DH's dad die she called him at 3am and they talked and I felt really good about it cause i had never met the man and they had that in common and I felt she would be more comfort than I. Mr.Oh_Help_Me_please needs to put more effort into making you feel more secure.

There's no "cutting the cord" when a spouse has a child he/she is raising with an ex spouse. You said you're jealous and I believe you. It's natural but it doesn't mean it's justified. Please try to calm down about it. If you feel your husband is treating you like a queen then don't look for problems. This woman will be in your life for many more years and it doesn't sound like she's all that bad. Be secure and confident in the relationship YOU have with him. It doesn't even matter why they got divorced..that has nothing to do with you and your husband.
Relax!

Nope, wrong. No cutting the cord with the bio mom when there's kids involved. And nope, the reason for the divorce is totally irrelevant! I'm funny? lol I guess if by "funny" you mean I've successfully navigated this whole step parenting/blended family thing....then yeah..I guess I AM funny! LOL I'm actually writing a book on the subject. That's even funnier, isn't it?

P.S. Some people's "knowledge" don't come from an online forum but rather from actual REAL LIFE experience! Imagine that!

Wow, how rude! I do stand by my advice however. No one manipulates me. And no one should manipulate you either. I think you know that your jealousy is unjustified. And I'm very sorry for the petty nonsense you've had to read here but really, try to keep it together. I used to feel like you do but now I laugh about it with the ex-wife. It's ridiculous. They're raising a child together. The reasons for the divorce matter not since they're RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER whether you're in the picture or not.

Please don't let some of these posts rile you up. Just try to look at this objectively.

Ok I honestly have no clue who half of you are but we need some steptalk regulars to reply bc ALL of them would say the A) BM seems all nice but she has ulterior motives Your DH NEEDS boundaries and there is absolutely NO reason why BM needs to call your DH every single damn day and talk to him for 10+ mins Everytime he is on his way home C) Why is it always on his way home, when u r not around that they have these lavish convos?? D) You are not wrong in your feelings!!! You have every right to be upset, angry, ect!!! Your husband is bffs with someone he once was married to and had a child with!! That is NOT ok.

Have you talked to your DH about your feelings??

Idk who this was towards since this post was hijacked.. lol. But the cause for the divorce really does not matter. They are divorced and he has a new wife. When they got divorced and he remarried someone else, they lost all rights to present a united front!! That right now belongs to SM and DH, NOT BM!!! And a SM has every damn right to a say in how much time and how frequently HER HUSBAND talks to another woman!!

Also all this bs about (whoever it was) trying to make her DH cut ties with BM and how its wrong and blah blah blah, is bs. That is not what she said at all!! Like I said above^^^^^^ SM has every right to have boundaries between her husband and BM!!!

God where is echo and mazzy and madamh and everyone at!!!

Notastic u seriously do not belong on steptalk!!! You sound just like all of our psycho BMs!!!!!!

the long conversations are held in private, they are short when you're around. that right there is enough. he's being secretive. he's able to be more open when you're not around than when you are. if he can't speak to his ex wife in the same manner EVERYTIME she calls, whether you're around or not, he's being disloyal to you. and if you ask him to keep the communication to a minimum and he balks at that, you have your answers. so YES, you could become divorced because your husband chose to place another woman's feelings above yours. this would be very serious for me, it's the same as an emotional affair. the child is old enough to have a relationship with her father that does not include her mother (great mother or not). i had the exact same problem with my dh at the beginning of our relationship and had he not placed me above her i would have walked. the ex lost ALL privileges when they divorced and he married me. she needs to find some friends to talk to because your dh is not available. you say your ex's wife has HIS balls? yep, they ARE hers where you are concerned. take a tip from them because your "jealousy" (or rather your radar sensing another woman getting what is yours from your husband) will not get better until he does his part helps you out with this. he helped contribute to these feeling you have and it's his job to help you get rid of them. oh, and it's NEVER a good idea to go to his ex about this. this is your dh's job. if he puts his foot down, it will end. if he doesn't, it will continue.

My dh ex used to call him when we had ss15 we usually had him everyweekend.well she would call like every hour he didn't see the need to be calling at all.ss15 was on medication we have some at our house so we know perfectly well what to do with him.and she would always call and ask for dh.well he got sick of it byhimself and he quit answering the phone.well I would pick up the phone she would ask for him and I would just ask if there is a message she wanted me to give him.then she got a boyfriend and had him call all the time sometimes he would talk to him since he knew him from before but she would always try get on the phone.I and my dh both agreed that ss15 is fine with us if he wanted to call his mom about anything he knew where the phone is.so that is totally not normal unless u think its ok to share ur man.lol maybe he doesn't know u are bothered by this since u have said a few times she is a great person.so u just need to have a talk and tell him its bothering u and u don't think they need to talk that much.which they absolutely do not.good luck

Why blame BM for this instead of DH?

She's calling because he allows it. He has let 4:03pm become their chit chat time. He could have ended this long ago, but he made the choice not to. He's the one at fault, not BM.

What other things is you husband doing to make you jealous? Has he told you he still has feelings for her? Does he flirt with her? or is he just talking about how to raise their daughter?

If he still wanted to be with the BM - HE STILL WOULD BE!!

I can relate to your post because I too was jealous of my husband's communication with his X. Although it was mainly through e-mail and usually about the kids but I thought they needed some boundaries. There was no reason she needed to e-mail multiple times a day when their kids were teenagers. I kept hounding him about it until he finally said something to her that I wanted him to communicate less with her. Which of course, she got mad and now I think he is resentful at me. Because now they don't talk hardly at all and so he knows less and less about what is going on in the kids' lives. And he thinks it's my fault. This happened quite a long time ago and he brought it up the other day that he thought I "overreacted". So I don't know - I think you need to choose your battles??