Uterus rot... VENT
I am so humiliated, and feel sooooooo stupid right now. To discover that my sweet, little SD13 is not so sweet after all - I finally heard the last glass shatter... I don't blog much, mostly read and answer others which seems to help a great deal. But tonight I discovered something that's about to push me to the edge, and I need someone to convince me to not to ban the SDs definitively from my life!
Ever since I was pregnant with my BD, one of my three SDs (SD16) started her war against DH and I, following the PASing & bipolar/histrionic/narcisitic/pathological footsteps of their BM. SD13 and 20 adore their little sister, at least, it seems so. We don't see SD16 for whatever new reason she seems to fabricate, and is totally encouraged by BM who also adds her grain of salt. And then there are the idiot ILs who, for whatever brain cells they do possess, continue to indulge the SDs and sicko-BM.
Cut to the chase: we haven't seen SD16 for around a year, refusing to see DH, but expecting gifts from him. Asmwe promised SD13 a shopping trip for her bday, we went all out to fly to our favourite city for a week-end of shopping for SD13 about 2 months ago. As SD13 is with us this week-end, she left her cell on and to my amazement, I saw the thread of messages between her and SD16: some of the clothes bought for SD13 were in fact for SD16 who wants nothing to do with us!!!
I'm just sick typing this... One of her closing messages was "mission accomplished".
What the hell made me think that any of the SDs would not turn out to be greedy shits like their BM??? What the f*ck was I thinking??? DH is in shock to finally see in writing that all we are to these skids are a bank account.
I could have blogged about so much other shit going on this past year, but tried my hardest not to let it get to me so much. This just did it for me.
I never thought would come the day where I would call DH's spawn "uterus rot"!!!
I suppose it was bound to happen with SD13, given the pattern of losing the SDs one by one over the past year, but still getting demands for money and gifts. Shame on us, right?
I give up.
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If she was still there I
If she was still there I would have immediately gone up to her room, grabbed all the shopping bags and taken them. All of them.
Who pays for the cell phone? If you guys do I would keep the cell phone until you have paid the amount equal to how much the clothes were.
Or I would have your DH drive over to BMs house and demand the clothes that are meant for SD16 back. Eh, that seems petty and immature but I would be so tempted to do that.
Sucks to be SD13. That may have been her last shopping trip with you guys....I hope it is.
Absof*ckinlutely it's the
Absof*ckinlutely it's the last time she'll ever see the colour of my wallet or go anywhere with us!!!
It's nearly 2am in our neck of the woods, and I was tempted to force DH to take her back to BM's, but we'll corner her tomorrow.
Our problem is that if feels either of us do or say something she doesn't like, it's yet again a letter to CPS. She's taught those kids that DH has no parental authority (DH's family too gives the same message!), so no matter what we do or say tomorrow, everything will be taken out of context and blown out of proportion. It will not be about the SDs' dishonesty, it will become some f*cked up and twisted accusation against us!
I'm nor sure what's making me more sick: that all the SDs are fully PASed and there's nothing we can do about it OR that SD13 may turn out to be a pathological liar like SD16 and BM to get out of her predicament OR that BM will jump on this event to file any report against us for fun...
Thank you for this, I'll
Thank you for this, I'll probably make DH read this to her verbatim. We're both so angry and hurt right now, it's best we try to get some sleep before we say something regretful.
And yes, the perks stop now. How is it that we SMs think we can have a Brady Bunch relationship and do things differently?
I geel like a fricken fool for thinking my SDs cared after all this time!
Don't feel like a fool. You
Don't feel like a fool. You were giving her the benefit of the doubt. It could have gone the other way...you could have been right. Now you know the truth. I'm so sorry. We also have a PAS'ing BM. It's like walking a tightrope with the skids. DH doesn't want to lose ALL influence he has, so it's difficult to know how to discipline. If he pushes them away, there is NO hope for them. We're working with a psychologist now, so hopefully that will help.
Have you watched the DVD, Welcome Home Pluto? It's about PAS and it's excellent. Our psychologist had SS13 watch it with DH first, then BM. We're still in the middle of the process. It's geared towards kids and teens, but there is a lot you could get out of it. There is a section for the parents.
I know you're very hurt right now. SD betrayed your trust. Just really think through how you want to handle this. This behavior is not acceptable...I'm not saying that at all. There must be consequences for it. But remember those kids are victims too. They're brainwashed by BM. I'm watching it happen before my very eyes with my skids. Before you act, you might want to consult a therapist. There's still a chance with SD...she's not too old yet. But you have to still be in her life and she needs to be somewhat open to you for "deprogramming" to work. Just something to think about. Good luck!
Oh, one other thing...our
Oh, one other thing...our psychologist had success with a 17 year old boy he was working with too..so try not to lose hope!
Oops...I got the name of the DVD wrong. It's Welcome BACK Pluto.
Welcome Back, Pluto: Understanding, Preventing, and Overcoming Parental Alienation
You should take the clothes
You should take the clothes back! That sucks and I am sorry that you are going through this. It is a kick in the stomach to find out that they are both just like BM since you had hope for this skid. At least you found out before SD16 got the clothes. Again so sorry I know it hurts.