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Not cooking is awkward

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 7:19am

I'm just cooking for myself. SO keeps asking what I want to do for dinner, I keep saying I don't know, I don't care, I'll just eat around.

Nothing will come of this, but I'm still not going to cook for SS. I just can't bring myself to. More hamburgers and hot dogs for SS, oh well.

SO I know would like to eat what I cook but he still wants me to pretend to offer my cooking to SS, so SS can then turn his nose up at it. This is to protect SS' feelings in case I cook something that SS might actually like. I understand. But it's SO's loss.

SS does not want to eat my cooking, it's his protest, unless it involved a dish with only meat and no vegetables or rice. Then he might take a break from his protest. Not happening.

Keeping on keeping on.

Comments

ConfusedStep's picture

Submitted by ConfusedStep on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 8:22am

Have you thought about telling DH flat out that you're cooking XYZ. He's free to have some but you did not waste your time to cook for skid because he won't want it anyway and you're not into wasting food? That's probably what I would do - one time - rather than having to answer him everytime.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 9:03am

Yes I did tell him and he got his feelings hurt and said if you're not going to cook for him, then don't cook for me!

It shouldn't be an issue, SS almost never eats what I cook unless it's something he can't resist, like biscuits and meat. But I think SO doesn't want to eat something I cook that SS might by some miracle do me the favor of eating, and then be in the awkward position of betraying his son by eating food not intended for him. He doesn't want SS16 to feel excluded is my bet. SO is willing to eat food he knows SS won't like, which is a lot.

This after SO told me that SS16 won't eat my cooking because he doesn't like me. If that doesn't make me feel excluded I don't know what would.

So I will be cooking meals that are meant for my lunch the next day, or something. Fun times.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 10:25am

It's just his way of being controlling. He's not going to change. And he was raised on the dollar menu at McDonalds by BM. Lol.

ConfusedStep's picture

Submitted by ConfusedStep on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 9:21am

Oh crap, we're talking about a 16 year old? At 16 (and years before that) I was cooking for my family - sometimes separate meals because my grandmother had dietary restrictions. A 16 year old can figure out his own meals if he is such a special snowflake who can't eat what's provided.
Sucks for your DH if he wants to miss out and since he knows the deal, I wouldn't even indulge his little "what's for dinner" games.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 10:28am

SS does fend for himself most nights. It's not so much him I have a problem with, it's SO expecting me to always offer SS my cooking to make him feel included, after he tells me SS won't eat my food because he doesn't like me.

SS uses food a a way to let his feelings and resentment towards me known, maybe. He's so passive and avoidant, this is how he goes on his little power trip.

catsmeow6n8's picture

Submitted by catsmeow6n8 on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 9:36am

I've been reading your blogs, and while my skids don't come out and say they won't eat my food or go belligerent when I cook, they don't eat anything I make. They are very quiet, very shy kids. Very, very reserved. It took them weeks to open up to the neighborhood kids. But no matter what I make, they won't eat it. Mac and cheese from scratch (that is INSANELY delicious), home made scones (also delicious), I made corn dogs from scratch. ( Me and BF make everything from scratch, EVERYTHING). They will eat around it. They won't even try it. Its not just the food I make either, a lot of the times its food that BF will make too. They pick around veggies, they pick around meat sometimes. they will eat the bread off their sandwiches and leave the meat and cheese. It's really frustrating because it is really good food and we put a lot of effort into it. I'm not sure why or how they got like this, but every time we pass a Taco Bell SS9 is screaming he wants a doritos locos taco, or we pass Dairy Queen and he wants a chili cheese dog. We pass up a McDonalds and SD7 is wanting chicken nuggets. When we get home and make food they all of a sudden are not hungry. But when we go places and pass up fast food joints its all they want. BF is very strict on no fast food for the kids. He doesn't believe in it and refuses. We might go out to eat at a nice restaurant but never to fast food. I don't parent his kids but I cook regardless, I know me and BF will eat. If they don't eat, its not my fault.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 10:35am

Yes, SS is passive and he's not openly disrespectful. His hostility shows in passive ways. From the very start he's resented me and I'm not to concerned about it. He doesn't have to eat what I cook. But I also can't get too excited about putting all that effort for someone who uses my food to show his resentment. In the beginning I made lasagna, his favorite. He didn't thank me or show any appreciation. He just ignored me and told his dad, "hey we should make lasagna together." and SO would say, Onefoot just made lasagna. SS: "Yeah, but dad, we should make lasagna sometime." really SS? I saw right through him.

I cook from scratch too and I don't want to waste it on a kid whose fav food is frozen taquitos.

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Mon, 08/12/2013 - 9:37am

I'm having XYZ, what are you and SS having? Said with your sweetest most innocent smile.