Forgive me steppers, it's been several months since my last confession.

So I haven't posted in a long time and I have a lot going on, sorry.

Let's start with Christmas, BM gave DH a blanket for Christmas. I know it seems like a nice generic gift, and it shouldn't bother me, but when we were sitting on the couch and pulled that thing over him, I just felt the need to burn it. He has never pulled a blanket over him in the living room before, and we have had a great many blankets, and yes the one she bought is exceptionally soft..... but I hate the idea of him being wrapped up in her blanket...no clue why. I bought a new one.... Yes that is petty and crazy, but as I told DH; I put up with a lot more crazy and lot more drama than the average mom or wife, so I am entitled to unleash my crazy every once in awhile.

Also Christmas related, I decided to play hostess this year, instead of driving to 3-4 different places, I decided that since both mine and DH's siblings live out of state (his out of the country) I could make everyone come to us! So we did individual Christmases with each grandparent and then on Christmas day both sets came over and spent the majority of the day there, and I stayed in the kitchen (which is my preference) and prepared a feast fit for an army..... I also invited BM. Yes that is kinda nutty, especially since I can't even stand her small pox blanket being in my house, but last year when we picked up SD on Xmas morning, BM spent the rest of the day alone (her family lives out of state). I am kind of Christmas nut and hate the idea of anyone spending Christmas alone.... even BM. And much to my surprise, she came. She was almost an hour late of course, but otherwise it was fine, DH and I even got her a gift card for a free massage at massage envy... (again my crazy idea). The day went alright, except when DH and I asked MIL to stop spoiling SD all the time, as she was completely ungrateful and underwhelmed with Christmas (We spent about $300 on her, including a Hello kitty bike)- almost no reaction. MIL freaked out and claimed that she NEVER spoils SD. Which is weird because she was bragging to my parents about how much she spoils her that same day- ugh

Last update, we decided to do fertility testing as we haven't gotten pregnant since the miscarriage- They found a few minor things wrong with my hormones and reasons why I haven't gotten pregnant- and then they found a polyp at the opening of my uterus. It was a minor surgery, but still a bit daunting anytime you have surgery and so frustrating that people like BM can have a kid by mistake, but for me.... it takes pills, surgeries, injections, tests.... The day I found out about the surgery, BM opted out of picking up SD, and decided to see her on the next scheduled day which was 2 days later- after not seeing her for over a week. SD tells me every night how much she misses her mom and asks when she can see her again. I hate having to tell her "you can see mommy soon, she has to work" (When the truth is; "mommy considers spending time with you a hassle and would prefer to see you as little as possible"). So why does she get a kid that is an inconvenience to her and I don't get one that I have been planning for?????

Ok that was cray long-

Thanks!