I do not want to be so angry with this lying manipulating 12 year old girl
This girl is my dil's niece. My dil has custody of her. My bs and dil have a one year old son. It boggles a non manipulating person's mind how she can be so vindictive and scheming. It is one of those things that writing can in no way explain how she twists things around to get her way.
She comes on soooo sweet and cooperative, making you think that she enjoys being around you etc...she has caused so much trouble between my son and his wife. About 3 months ago, she purposely goes out and gets drunk so she can have sex for the first time and call it rape later. The boy was 14 years old. She gets her friend's older friend (21 yr old) to pose as her friend's mother so they can all party together and this 21 year old bought the liquor.
She has large breasts for any age and she had confided in my daughter *2 years ago* she was dying to be a playboy Playmate! Her bm has 4 children and she had all of her children taken away. Not because she is on drugs but because she works all the time and brings drug addicts home to have sex with and left her children with the drug addicts who didn't really watch them so the neighbors reported it and they were taken away...
I get so angry at this girl's mother for not fighting to get her back. Her younger children are with their bgm and they are doing much better than this girl. The younger ones get to see their mother etc because they live in the same town as their mother.
My step granddaughter (sgd) is so jealous of her little cousin who is the bs of my son and his wife. She is vindictive, lies to create drama etc so she can get her way. I would have to write a book to come across with everything so people can understand. And while I am writing right now, I am sick in body and really don't feel like even writing... I have never had anyone to do me like she does. She uses whatever she can use so she can turn it around to try to make people feel sorry for her to get what she wants. I am just frustrated. I started not to even begin this blog because it is an unending can of worms...she is going to counseling but I fail to see that it is doing any good. My dil would like to find someone else to counsel with her. I don't know who it would be...she is now going out on chaperoned dates with my bgs and I frankly hate for her to ruin his innocence. She always manages to steal a phone or some type of device so she can text etc.. She just got caught at 3 AM skyping with a guy after she had sent a picture of her breasts to him....thank you for listening.
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ps. she has even flirted hard
ps. she has even flirted hard core with my son trying to get him to say things to her so she can come live with someone else who had more money! Us to begin with...she even asked to go see a friend of mine from our church telling lies, hoping she would want to take her in! Her thinking is very warped!
She admitted that she lied and then lied about her lying. Today, she told me that she had stopped lying but then found opportunity to lie again. My dil called me to tell me about it. My mind just doesn't work that way and I am way too trusting but I am LEARNING to trust NO ONE!
That, my friend, is trouble
That, my friend, is trouble with a capital 'T'. We have one just like her, and the mother is just plain out of her mind on medication for the most part.
I sincerely hope that some sort of counselling can make a change in this girl but it's highly unlikely, the mother has done the damage already and, just like our girl here (SD 18) it's going to be one hell of a bumpy ride for your son and DIL. It's commendable that they took her in, seriously, but they are going to be in a lot of trouble if they do not manage to turn her around.
What might be worth thinking about is legally emancipating her, though still provide a roof and meeting her needs, then you are NOT going to be hit hard by fees from juvenile courts. We almost lost our house because of days missed at work and the financial strain of a delinquent child is huge once they are in the juvenile justice system.
When SD here was a ward of the state WE had to pay child support to the state! She was in and out of group homes, juvenile detention and then in a secure juvenile detention center for two years for felony assault on the elderly and resisting arrest and she hit the cop too.
This girl beat herself up and called 911, telling the police her dad hit her and it was THE ONE rookie cop who had never dealt with her before, he was taken in by her lies and arrested DH. The DA threw the case out but, still, it's one hell of an ordeal! You were concerned about the other kids becoming targets for this girl, you are quite right to be concerned!
This girl will likely stop at nothing! Just like ours, it's all about her and getting what she wants.
The trick with kids like that is getting them to WANT to do what's right.
SD is now 18 and we are not legally responsible for her, she's dancing, doing batchelor parties, hanging with drug dealers and doing drugs and living with her mother, her choice when she came out of jail! That was the point where DH became done with the girl. We love her very much but we cannot help her right now, not until she's willing to make the changes within herself. It's heart breaking to see such a beautiful, and highly intelligent, girl waste her life that way, she's a MESS right now!
No way is she coming to live with us again, DH said he's not willing to turn the place into a fortress and I am not willing to put our lives in danger from the people she hangs with...nor is this house a bar or a brothal or a sleazy motel! We'd have to be on tenterhooks the entire time! I told DH that she can come back but he has to be the one to deal with her, take the time, watch her like a hawk, detox her, make sure she cannot get any more drugs, put her back in university (she was in university right before her two year sentence) and he'd need to be joined at the hip with her...I know DH will not be able to do that, and DH is about to start a six month course of chemo so having that crap at our door is not happening!
I would not want to go through all that again, I feel for you, your son and DIL...the rest of the family too! I sincerely hope you never experience what we did.