(overwhelmed_underappreciated)
Sorry but I am not gonna be facebook stalked anymore... good luck with your son!!! I hope everything turns out well for you guys...
May 27
BMs bf
All I'm going to say is get your facts straight. You have a whole mess of em twisted.

May 29
(overwhelmed_underappreciated)
Im wondering if this is from BM or BMs bf...

May 29
BMs bf
It's from me. Not BM.

May 29
(overwhelmed_underappreciated)
What facts do I have twisted?? I call 'em like I see 'em and if something is wrong feel free to give me the correct information... until then I would appreciate it if you, BM, and/or all of y'alls friends would stop calling me names and such... I wont be drawn into the stupid high school drama shit. I would be happy to talk to anyone face to face, over the phone, or even through a message but name calling posts are unnecessary.... Please inform me on what I have "twisted" tho... Thanks...

May 29
BMs bf
Well first of all, neither BM or I has called you names. In fact, you called her a bitch.
I had the respect and still do to tell DH that I know my boundaries. I will not expect them to call me their father, I do not wish to take any responsibilities from DH or respect/love that the girls have for DH. They are not your kids, nor will they ever be your kids. I understand this, and I leave the business between DH and BM between them. I keep any opinion I may have to myself, I do not bitch about anything over facebook, or make DH look bad to my friends. You have, not only this time, but in the past. The business between DH and BM will NEVER be my business. Regardless if I married BM right now. I know that limit. If BM and I broke up, I'd expect the same respect from her new boyfriend.
I'm not trying to disrespect you, but I have been around them longer than you have. But yet, I still do not think they are mine in any way shape or form. I love them, as you love them. I help raise them, as you help raise them. I teach them, as I'm sure you teach them. But I know I will never replace DH, nor do I want to. The only way I would step up to take that role, is if something happened to DH or if he stopped wanting anything to do with them. Which I don't see that happening.
I was looking at your profile and found the post you made. Not BM. I looked at your profile, and I saw that you posted on someone elses profile. I simply clicked it, it was the first link in your activity section. Not really hard to get to. I do that to everyone's profile, and I know plenty of other people who do that too.
BM has a right to child support while DH takes the girls. First of all, he signed a paper back in October/November saying that he will. Then he signed the paper earlier this month saying that he will. If HE had a problem with it, HE should have come to BM and talk something out. It's none of my business, I just let them talk it out, and I signed the paper as a witness. As did you. Research it, she's entitled to child support.
BM did NOT threaten to take DH to court over any Facebook posts. I do not know where you got that from.
BM is no where near lazy when it comes to taking care of those girls. It drains her, yes, but she's not lazy. She provides everything she can for them. She makes sure to teach them, raise them and provide for them. And I've been there for 11 months, and I can say she's done a great job.
The DOCTOR (after many routes) prescribed SD1 1/2 that medication. You can google things all you want, but I'll take a doctor's opinion over google any day.
BM does not "leave" you all the hard stuff to do. She had SD3 using the potty for quite some time before they went with you guys. Please remember, DH has asked BM to take the girls most of the times in the past 11 months. So the timing is all on DH when he asks. If you have to do some of the work, please don't take full credit and please don't discredit her or slander her raising. She was in the process, well before DH asked this time to take the girls, to get SD1 1/2 off the bottle as well.
SD1 1/2 does have allergies by the way. The runny noses, eczema and sore throats she gets is caused by allergies. The medication has helped her with those.
SD3 picks her toys up very well up here. Some times we don't even have to ask her, and she'll clean the whole living room up. SD1 1/2 will dump things out, and then pick them up all by herself. We tell SD1 1/2 to pick that up, and she will. So please don't take credit for that. She's picked up stuff for quite some time now.
And by the way, every time the girls go down there, they get checked out by a doctor. I go to the appointments every time, and they get cleared to go. They get sick in a lot of your updates every time they're in your care. They usually end up coming home sick, or bruised or scratched. So please don't think you're super parent of the century. We do not bitch about your parenting skills. So I wish this immaturity would end. DH never calls BM up asking about something I said. I keep my opinion's to myself, and for the most part, I have no opinion on what goes on.
BM has a right to be concerned, she doesn't know what you're saying to other people, or even the girls. We don't know if you're badmouthing us in front of them. It may seem simple, or high school, but it's a legitimate concern in my eyes.

May 30
(overwhelmed_underappreciated)
Well first of all, neither BM or I has called you names. In fact, you called her a bitch.
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**Okay, well let’s see if I can straighten up some of your own facts… Yeah I called her a bitch AFTER she calls DH to tell bitch about something that I have said when I have asked her on multiple occasions to come to me if she has a problem with something I am doing. DH does not own me nor control me and talking to him about me will fix nothing… That’s just reality. She also made a comment about we shouldn’t be having children when he can’t take care of the two that he has and yet DH is an amazing father and its none of her business how many kids he or we decide to have. Also, having her friend post things on DH’s facebook page or calling me a bitch or cunt or anything else is unnecessary. **
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I had the respect and still do to tell DH that I know my boundaries. I will not expect them to call me their father, I do not wish to take any responsibilities from DH or respect/love that the girls have for DH. They are not your kids, nor will they ever be your kids. I understand this, and I leave the business between DH and BM between them. I keep any opinion I may have to myself, I do not bitch about anything over facebook, or make DH look bad to my friends. You have, not only this time, but in the past. The business between DH and BM will NEVER be my business. Regardless if I married BM right now. I know that limit. If BM and I broke up, I'd expect the same respect from her new boyfriend.
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**I also know my boundaries, however I am not just DH’s girlfriend, I am about to be his wife and his kids step mother… a little bit more than just a girlfriend. Also, I have NEVER asked or expected the girls to call me their mother. NEVER. SD3 can call me whatever she wants to call me. There have been many times that she has called me “Mom” and every time I remind her that I am “SM” but that she can call me what she wants to. In fact, she will occasionally come to me and tell me “You’re my other mommy” and if that is how she feels I am not going to make her feel bad about it. She knows who I am and that I love her very much and that is all that matters. I have never tried to make them “my kids” as they are not, but they are my step-kids. And the decisions that DH and BM make don’t just affect them and the kids but also me and my child and our family. DH and I discuss and decide things as a family… therefore there is very little that I am not involved in. In the end they are his girls and his decision is the final word but we discuss things thoroughly before we make decisions (that is a sign of a mature relationship). I don’t keep things to myself. If I have something to say I say it… that is who I am and I will not change that for you or anyone else. Don’t like it, don’t read what I have to say and keep your nose out of it. I don’t do anything to make BM look bad, I speak truth. Don’t like the truth, change it. Don’t want to change it?? Let it roll off your back. Not everyone is going to like everyone… that’s life. And if you are going to say something about “talking shit” about anyone you need to realize what your girlfriend is saying about me and DH and talk to her as well. I’ve seen multiple posts from her about how DH is a piece of shit and a horrible father and everything else… Don’t hold me to a different standard that you hold your own household to. **
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May 30
(overwhelmed_underappreciated)
I'm not trying to disrespect you, but I have been around them longer than you have. But yet, I still do not think they are mine in any way shape or form. I love them, as you love them. I help raise them, as you help raise them. I teach them, as I'm sure you teach them. But I know I will never replace DH, nor do I want to. The only way I would step up to take that role, is if something happened to DH or if he stopped wanting anything to do with them. Which I don't see that happening.
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**I’m not worried about you disrespecting me… You are more than welcome to have your own opinion of me. I know these kids were not carried or birthed by me. I do love them as if they did come from my body. I am not trying to replace BM and in fact have told DH on many many occasions that if for any reason BM did go to jail (with all of her charges over the last year or so it is a very real possibility and could have happened already) or lost custody of the children for any other reason that there is no way in hell I would ever try to keep the kids from her. That he and I would not play the games that she wants to play with DH and that we would make every effort to ensure that the kids still had a great relationship with their mother. I feel that the girls’ relationship with their parents is the most important thing right now and I would not and could not keep them from their mother and be able to look at myself. I had a very difficult childhood and only got to see my own mother once, maybe twice a year if I was lucky because the people that had custody of me wouldn’t let me see her more than that. These are not memories I want for these beautiful children. They are amazing and an absolute gift and they should not be used to get back at me or DH for something that is said or done. **
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I was looking at your profile and found the post you made. Not BM. I looked at your profile, and I saw that you posted on someone elses profile. I simply clicked it, it was the first link in your activity section. Not really hard to get to. I do that to everyone's profile, and I know plenty of other people who do that too.
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**As far as the facebook stalking, I have unfriended you so now we won’t have that problem. My page is set to private so you can’t get on to see it anymore. And I am asking my friend to make her event page private as well. It’s f’ing facebook… not that serious…**
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BM has a right to child support while DH takes the girls. First of all, he signed a paper back in October/November saying that he will. Then he signed the paper earlier this month saying that he will. If HE had a problem with it, HE should have come to BM and talk something out. It's none of my business, I just let them talk it out, and I signed the paper as a witness. As did you. Research it, she's entitled to child support.
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**DH never said a f’ing word about Child Support. I said something about it in a conversation that had nothing to do with you or BM... a conversation that was taken out of context by the way. However, despite what that link that BM sent says, the idea of Child Support is to support the CHILD and his/her needs. I didn’t say she wasn’t entitled to get the money, I just know that if I was in the same position I would want to make sure that my child’s father was able to feed them and clothe them and be able to take the girls out and have fun with them because I don’t have the kids and the money should go to them… But again, that is just my opinion…**
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BM did NOT threaten to take DH to court over any Facebook posts. I do not know where you got that from.
BM is no where near lazy when it comes to taking care of those girls. It drains her, yes, but she's not lazy. She provides everything she can for them. She makes sure to teach them, raise them and provide for them. And I've been there for 11 months, and I can say she's done a great job.
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**11 months… is that where you get that you have been around longer?? Just curious… Because I have been around a hell of a lot longer than 11 months. DH and I were friends and roommates for over a year (and I was witness to a lot that went on between them) before we became a couple, and I have been in the girls lives since SD3’s 2nd birthday. Very involved in their lives since then. Comes to just a little bit longer than 11 months… and I have been witness to DH and BM’s relationship for over 2 years… I am very aware of who and what I am dealing with. **
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The DOCTOR (after many routes) prescribed SD1 1/2 that medication. You can google things all you want, but I'll take a doctor's opinion over google any day.
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**As far as this medication thing goes, first of all DH should have been informed and involved in all of those decisions beforehand. He should have been told about what was going on and what the doctor had to say about it before a prescription was written. Second, she is 16 months old; she should not be on any type of prescription anxiety medication for any reason. That is the fucking problem with doctors and parents today, not everyone needs to be medicated (some things are just a phase)… kids cry, they don’t always sleep, they are needy and sometimes a pain in the ass but they are kids. They should not be on any type of drug beyond medication to clear a cold or infection… Have you ever thought that there was something going on in the home that bothers her?? She has no problem going to sleep and sleeping though the night here, SD3 does not wake up screaming with nightmares or anything else when she is here. These kids have no problems when they are here but as soon as they go back DH gets all kinds of calls about how we must be doing something because BM has problems with them… **
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May 30
(overwhelmed_underappreciated)
BM does not "leave" you all the hard stuff to do. She had SD3 using the potty for quite some time before they went with you guys. Please remember, DH has asked BM to take the girls most of the times in the past 11 months. So the timing is all on DH when he asks. If you have to do some of the work, please don't take full credit and please don't discredit her or slander her raising. She was in the process, well before DH asked this time to take the girls, to get SD1 1/2 off the bottle as well.
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**SD3 was still in freaking diapers when I started her on the potty. If she had begun potty training BM never said a word so I have a hard time believing that. I spent last summer teaching her to use the potty and she had no idea what she was doing when I started. When SD3 did go back home she was having very very few accidents and that was because she was still just learning. Months later when we got them back SD3 was back to peeing and pooping on herself at least once a day?? (Don’t try to deny it because you and I had that conversation and you said yourself that she was having at least one accident a day) And yeah we worked on that too. So yeah, I did a hell of a lot as far as that is concerned. I would appreciate a little consideration as well. I do not have to do anything with or for these children because they are not biologically my kids, what I do is because I want to and because I love these children. I don’t expect a great big “thank you” or anything but a little f’ing respect would go a hell of a long way. Oh and just so you both know, SD1 1/2 is off the bottle. She doesn’t get it at all anymore and it was not a struggle at all. I just quit giving it to her. So now you don’t have to worry about that either. I would just suggest not letting her see the bottles… maybe put them all away before she gets back. Or keep them where she can’t see them or get to them. **
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SD1 1/2 does have allergies by the way. The runny noses, eczema and sore throats she gets is caused by allergies. The medication has helped her with those.
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**That’s funny because I asked BM if SD1 1/2 had allergies and she said no and that she didn’t know why the doctor prescribed it that way, that the medication is for sleep. “The bottle does read as needed for allergies; idk why (their doctors) wrote it out because it's in their notes to be used for sleep once per night. I can have those records faxed to you if necessary. And technically she doesn't have allergies. It's one of the primary uses for that medication because it helps to calm you.” Please check your information before you try to correct me. This came from BM…not my imagination. **
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SD3 picks her toys up very well up here. Some times we don't even have to ask her, and she'll clean the whole living room up. SD1 1/2 will dump things out, and then pick them up all by herself. We tell SD1 1/2 to pick that up, and she will. So please don't take credit for that. She's picked up stuff for quite some time now.
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**SD3 picks her toys up here too… I wasn’t taking credit for anything. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about picking up after our kids… but of course you already read that whole conversation so I shouldn’t need to tell you anything, right??**
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And by the way, every time the girls go down there, they get checked out by a doctor. I go to the appointments every time, and they get cleared to go. They get sick in a lot of your updates every time they're in your care. They usually end up coming home sick, or bruised or scratched. So please don't think you're super parent of the century. We do not bitch about your parenting skills. So I wish this immaturity would end. DH never calls BM up asking about something I said. I keep my opinion's to myself, and for the most part, I have no opinion on what goes on.
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**Well, just so you know, this area is very different than where you guys are in MD. Different plant pollen, different temperatures and humidity, we are at sea level… There are so many factors that play in to a little cold or runny nose… and yeah they get bruised and scratched because they are kids that play outside when they are with us. Kids are supposed to get scratched and bruised, that’s part of growing up!!! I am not a super parent… there is a lot that I need to work on and a lot that I am still learning but I am doing my best. And great if that’s how you guys are as well. If you plan on being a father figure in these kids’ lives it might be a good idea to develop an opinion. Especially since you will have your own child that is affected by everything that goes on with the kids and all… **
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May 30
(overwhelmed_underappreciated)
BM has a right to be concerned, she doesn't know what you're saying to other people, or even the girls. We don't know if you're badmouthing us in front of them. It may seem simple, or high school, but it's a legitimate concern in my eyes.
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**What I have to say to other people doesn’t matter. The girls NEVER hear anything negative about the two of you. Hell, DH won’t even talk to BM on the phone in front of the girls because he doesn’t want them to see, hear, or witness in any way any negativity between the two of them. Anytime the girls want to talk about either you or BM I sit down and talk to them (well SD3 anyways). One thing that I will not allow in my house is anyone talking negatively about their parents. Again that is something I dealt with a lot when I was younger and will not subject the kids to it. I do not want them to have any of those bad memories because of me… Everything pertaining to the children, BM, you, or any other problem we may have is discussed and cleared away from the children so that they can be kids. Like I said, DH won’t even talk to BM on the phone around the kids (unless we are in the car or cannot get away from them for some reason) because he does not want to argue with their mother in front of them. They will be able to develop their own opinions about how things work as they get older… as is their right. Out of curiosity though, am I not allowed to say anything to anyone but BM is allowed to say whatever she wants to/about me and DH?? How about her friend that posted all kinds of shit on DH’s facebook page. If you are going to come at me about things like that, straighten up your own household first. My friends don’t post nasty shit all over her or your page… and they don’t talk shit about people that they don’t know. So how exactly are the two of you badmouthing me and DH?? But I guess that is acceptable but it’s not acceptable for me or DH to have an opinion… That is a legitimate concern in my eyes… Please don’t try to correct me on things that are wrong on your side of the table. Doesn’t look that great on you….**
**Think about what I have said. If anyone has a problem with ME, they need to come to ME. If you don’t like something that has been said, ask ME about it. I’m tired of having to hear about everything through DH. I am a grown woman and I am perfectly capable of explaining what is meant or whatever and I can handle a conversation. I have tried to provide updates on the kids beyond what DH will remember or think to say. I have done everything I can to ensure that these children are safe and happy and I would just like to be treated like a human being. That’s all. **
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May 30
BMs bf
(BMs bff) posted that on her own accord, we had nothing to do with that. You started the name calling. Yes, that sounds elementary, but it's true.
I have spent every day with the girls for 11 months. Regardless of when you guys started dating or hanging out, whatever, the combined amount of time you have watched them, does not equal anywhere near 11 months.
This household is fine, the girls do fine. So if you don't know what goes on around here, don't comment or assume things about that.
You still don't get that the business with the girls will NEVER be your business. Regardless of what happens, you can marry him 20 times, and it will still never be your business. I can accept that it won't be any of mine. I would gladly put my opinion about a situation if both BM and DH asked for my opinion. Simple as that. If I can accept it, why can't you?
Why do we need to praise you for doing things? Is DH not the parent to them as well? Should he not be teaching them or taking some of the responsibilities to get SD1 1/2 off the bottle or teach them a milestone? Why do you think that whatever BM does, can go unnoticed, but if you think you taught them to pick up the toys or help teach SD3 to use the potty, that you deserve all recognition and praise?
I'm done talking to you about this, this is all pointless. It's going to do nothing but make you see the girls less. BM has already stated that she's going back to the original agreement to DH, one weekend a month and 2 weeks in the summer, because of the continued drama. I would have thought you'd be happy that she let the girls go down there for 7 weeks. All DH had to do was pay some child support, but you had to stick your nose in that business and start stuff. Which seems to be a trending issue with you. Do you contribute to DH's financial status? From what I understand, no. So let him deal with it. There was a reason why we had to wait out in the vehicles when they went in for mediation, because it's none of our business. And if they ever go in for another mediation, we will be waiting out in the vehicles again, because it's will never be any of our business.

May 30
BMs bf
I usually stay neutral in most drama. But when someone I know is getting slandered, I will say something. I've told you the facts, believe it or not. But like I said, I'm done. I've said my piece, and you can respond all you like. But it will go unread.

May 30
(overwhelmed_underappreciated)
aaahhhh ha ha ha... You started the drama by sticking your nose in my business and then taking what was said out of context just to piss off your gf and get her mad at me... Blame it on me all you want...

May 30
BMs bf
If that helps you sleep at night. Keep thinking things were taken out of context. You got caught talking shit, and now you're mad. Deleting me and making that even private proved it. Found that rather funny I'm sure you're writing bits and pieces of what is being said here and trying to act big in front of your friends. Typical drama queen. But funny thing is, (DHs father) said you're nothing but drama. Didn't really see that, but adding things up, it makes sense. Take care.