Small morning win for me

SS was having a bad morning again. He was refusing to do what he was told. I did what many of you suggested and started giving DH a count down to when I would be leaving him behind at 15 minutes. I was ready to walk out the door and SS still had not taken his ADHD meds, got his breakfast or put on his shoes. I told DH (who was sitting on the couch asleep) that SS was standing against the wall and refusing to take his meds. I told him, sorry, but I am leaving. DH jumps up and started yelling at me and giving me attitude, but I just told him that I can't beat SS, and he won't listen. I told DH that explained to him before that this is how I would handle things, I am sorry you are tired but I will not go through this every morning because you don't want to deal with your own child. SS won't listen.

Then, with the best timing EVER, SS pipes up- "I won't listen to mom- I only listen to MY dad!!" Dh goes off on him about respecting me and doing what he is told. I told DH that I will be in the car for exactly 2 minutes. If ss is not it when I pull out of the driveway- sorry. I then walk out the door with my bios.

Guess who is running to the car as I am pulling down the driveway? In 2 minutes he managed to do everything he fought me about for 40 minutes. I took him to before school, but DH got it that I am over it }:)

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Wait wait- DH yelled at you

Wait wait- DH yelled at you like an errant maid? I would've made tracks toot sweet.

That is how DH always is when

That is how DH always is when it comes to "prince sun shines out his ass"....

And that's a major

And that's a major contributor to why SS won't listen to you. He watched all-powerful Dad yell at you and treat you like one of his children, which disempowers you and puts you on the level of the child. This timing for the following is not at all surprise, in that context:

"with the best timing EVER, SS pipes up- "I won't listen to mom- I only listen to MY dad!!"

SS felt empowered to tear you down because he just watched his father disrespect you. He saw the opportunity to drive a wedge between you two and cause an argument and he went for it. If his goal is to split the two of you up, and your DH doesn't want that to happen, DH needs to understand that he is a direct contributor to the problem through his actions.

Actions, not words. He can tell SS to respect you all he wants, but the kid isn't going to believe him when he saw his dad disrespect you and showed SS the point of weakness where SS could drive a wedge.

The two of you need to be on a solid parenting team, where you back one another up in regard to parenting. You cannot let the kid see you argue about parenting. Sure, you may disagree, but you shut your mouth until the two of you can talk about it with each other in private. As far as SS is concerned, he will never stop this until DH's words AND ACTIONS tell/show SS that he will not be given the opportunity to come between the two of you - the parenting team.

Until DH gets that, this will never stop.