I really have a terribly low tolerance for the lack of manners in MOST children. It's not exclusive to snowshyte. Her sense of entitlement and her sense of superiority does irk the hell out of me though. I came home last night and DH/snowshyte were at the table in the florida room and while dh was like, "hey honey!! how are ya???" Snowshyte didn't even turn around to say hello to me...she just utters this mumble of,"hi" Then I saw the bracelet she was making and I was like, "that's gonna turn out really pretty!" she was like,"yeah..." :jawdrop: It was so freakin rude I wanted to slap her. When someone says something nice you dumb little shit you're supposed to say "thank you!" Dh obviously corrected her to which she replied(still not looking at me)"oh..sorry."
So, you're not alone with the rudeness...another example is...if she is getting ready to come downstairs in the morning she'll sneak across the catwalk to peek over the railing to see if it's her daddy downstairs on just me...if she sees it's me she'll creep back to her room and wait. then when she hears her daddy she'll come bounding down the steps. UGHHHH...like a little rodent creeping around my f**king house.

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

What manners? Zip16&3/4th's has none-but he is not alone there. DH thinks Zip is perfect just the way he is-

BBB-Zip does the same thing re coming downstairs in the morning-if it is just me-he tippy toes by and quickly fills a bowl of cereal, dissapearing downstairs like a cockroach-if DH is around Zip loudly makes a full course breakfast and eats (snarfs) it ON the living room sofa, spilling half of it on said sofa- with the TV blaring and DH looking adoringly on-bugs the crap out of me!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

BM was raised without manners, so of course she's doing the same to her kids. SD8 has the potential to have manners, as my husband & I (& our families) really try to work with her on this, however former SD11 (who isn't our problem anymore, thankfully) is hopeless. She is one of the rudest kids I've ever met. I know I've told some of the stories on here before, but here's a few examples:

About a year ago, FSD11 instant messaged my mom to say she was bored (not sure where FSD11 was, but it was probably at her grandparents' house). So my mom writes her back, asking her simple questions to make conversation. And FSD11 writes back, "Too many questions!" & disappears. My mom was really hurt. Here she was reaching out to this kid (who is extremely troubled, whether BM wants to acknowledge it or not) & FSD11 acts like a complete jerk.

When FSD11 lived with us, she was extremely nosy. Once, she needed something for a project she was working on & so I went into one of my drawers in my bedroom to find what she needed. Well, after FSD11 saw where I kept this stuff, she thought she could go in & help herself anytime. (Which she knows better than to do.) So FSD11 opens the drawer one day & sees some stickers I have from PETA in there. They were for the boycott Mars candy campaign (because Mars tests on animals, believe it or not!) & they were pretty graphic. An M&M kicking a mouse with blood splattering. And M&M's are one of FSD11's favorite candies! (Which is why I had chosen to hide these from the kids, besides the fact that they're so graphic.) FSD11 got visibly upset & said, "Sometimes PETA does some gross things.". I can't even remember what I said to her at this point, but I know I wanted to lecture her about going through people's private things. I should have.

So I totally hear you on the privacy issue! I can't even receive a package in the mail without getting 20 questions. When I talk on the phone, SD8 eavesdrops (FSD11 used to do this, too). When my husband & I are having a private conversation, SD8 constantly interrupts, asking what we're talking about. No matter how many times you tell her it's none of her business, she keeps asking. I know part of it is just being a nosy kid who likes to be the center of attention, but sometimes I wonder how much is reported back to BM. I know that BM used to use FSD11 as her personal spy at our house.

...for some parents to teach manners. This is my LATEST grievance with my SS9. He has NO manners. You actually have to remind him CONSTANTLY to say please and thank you. But of course, when FH spoke to BM about this, she says, "Saying please and thank you is mandatory at our house". WTF?!?! It's like she's somehow saying that it's OUR fault that he's rude. I don't believe it for a second that he actually remembers to say please and thank you over there but conveniently forgets at our house when he lives with us 99%. That's crap!

I can gladly say that DH has instilled manners in both my SS and my SD. We both enforce them to use their manners both at home and out in public. DH and I both grew up with manners. I took skids on vacation by myself several times and they were always polite and well mannered. The few times they went and sat at bingo with me doing there own thing, the following bingo night the people would tell my mom how well behaved they were. My biggest pet peeve is when we go out to eat and they chew their food with their mouths open...I always have to get after them about it.

Our problem is BM doesn't enforce manners or much of anything else since it requires parenting. Thankfully we have full custody of them.

All I can say to you all is just put your foot down and enforce manners.

My SD lies about me alot. So I understand your frustration there. It is funny my SD says about a fight at school "that girl can not be mean to me than expect me to be her friend"

WELL SD shouldn't be mean to me than expect me to love her and let her use all my things.....

Sounds like you are in the same boat