Has Anyone Gone Through This?
I am so angry today. Sorry for all the blogs. Does your DH seem to have to be angry at You or at the Skid all of the time? Does your DH always feel the need to pick a side? DH and I are awesome when SS isn't around and SS and I seem to be ok when DH isn't around (Im sure that is just an act though), but when all 3 of us are together, DH always has to be mad or agitated with with one of us. Its really weird. And its not just every once in a while, its all of the time. Like even if one of us is just passing by or whatever, dinner time is hell, there is no family time together at all. Now I have always thought that SS has manipulated this, but again DH never took care of it so this is where we're at. Has anyone else gone through this? How do you stop it?
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There is no middle. SS and
There is no middle. SS and I don't "argue". DH just feels the need to pick sides. Literally we could all be watching TV and he will either have to go cuddle with SS or sit with me. He can't just come in and sit. Or like at dinner, he can't be nice to both of us at the same time. Its really weird and it is not allowing us to become a family (yeah, this is what Im dealing with after 4 years, isn't this the kind of crap that should have happened at the beginning?).
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
I do think DH is a guilty
I do think DH is a guilty Dad, but I think he should be way past that, BM and DH broke up 6 years ago and we have been together for 4. Thats the thing. SS and I used to be really close. SS turned into a little poop as DH and I got more serious. We got along great until DH and I moved in together, then we got along great when SS first moved in with us. Then DH and I bought a house together and things got worse, Then DH and I got engaged, things turned into crap, Then DH and I got married and things went to hell. Maybe DH is upset that SS and I don't like each other (Im sick of sugarcoating it, it is what it is). But its literally like this on a daily basis. I can't live like this anymore. Someone in our house is always so angry. I never show my anger at home and its eating away at me.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Stepping, I've tried
Stepping, I've tried starting over, more than once. I always make his favorite dinners and snacks and I've rented movies and bought video games, asked if he would like to go for walks with the dog, ect. SS doesn't get enough one on one time with DH, neither do I. BM is in and out of SS's life. She has been consitent lately but we have a feeling she's done with that again. SS is taking out his issues on me, we know that, but he isn't stopping it and DH isn't stopping it either. And you are right...how can I like my SS when he is acting out against me? I have made effort after effort and DH doesn't notice anything other than he doesn't have to do anything or make an effort. I appreciate your advice though. It is hard to start over being so angry.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
He gets REALLY DEFENSIVE. I
He gets REALLY DEFENSIVE. I can't say ANYTHING (good or bad) about SS without him getting defensive.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus