Does it bother you when people lump your bio-kids in with the skids?
Dh made a comment a few nights ago that is still running through my head. And I fully knowledge that I am being irrational in this case, but as a general rule this REALLY bothers me.
Dh: You know, the kids are the best 4 things I've done in my life.
I hate hate hate it when people lump my kids in with the skids. I know that all 4 are his kids, and obviously he loves them all. But when he said that, it almost felt like the comment physically slapped me. Like he was implying that our kids and the skids were somehow equally awsome. Which isn't the case, by anyone's standards. Both skids have some very real and serious issues (wong go into it now, but read some old blogs if you aren't familiar). It's like this unspoken rule.in our house that we don't opennly aknowledge all of the skid issues.
But in general, I get very butt-hurt when people lump my kids in with the skids, and make generalized statements..... Or try to say something that's similiar. One time a lady at the daycare made an off-hand comment about the {lastname} children on the one day in over a year that my son had a behavior issue ay daycare. Really pissed me off that she lumped him in with them after one ify behavior day in over a year, when the skids are in trouble daily.
Do you guys feel the same way? Not sure if the root of th feeling is to have there be a distiction between BSs and skids.... Or adistinction that I am not their bm. But I can't even describe how much I hate it.
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It would turn my stomach for
It would turn my stomach for someone to lump my kids in with ss. At this point it rarely happens, thank god. Because he is so obviously different than my kiddos. As I say this he is sitting in ISS while my 4.0 son and 3.9 daughter who have never had a detention are sitting in their classes. It helps that ss does not live with us currently. He is so vastly vastly different than my kids-when people see they all have the same last name (dh adopted my 2)they are kind of like WTF? However, ss jsut moved down here to our school early this year-so they already know he is not part of the same genetic pool as the rest of my kids. He is such a bad kiddo-that he is not someone that teachers or other adults come up to us and try to chat about.
That does not fly with me! My
That does not fly with me! My skids are so emotionally and socially stupid that whenever DH lumps my ds in his conversations of "his boys" I have to start visibly shaking it makes me so mad and offended.
I make it clear that SD is
I make it clear that SD is not mine in any conversation. Recently, someone asked how many kids we have and I said two. SS14 and BS17. One is his and one is mine. DH just stared at me. I didn't even acknowledged that the brat existed.
When they ask me I also just
When they ask me I also just say mine n when they ask DH n I we also say just ours but if he is alone and they ask him he will include is daughter.. Also b4 when SD would b with us I would say shes DH daughter now I say my SD..
Ok, good to knows that I am
Ok, good to knows that I am not alone in this.... Makes me feel a little.better.
I am actually planning on sending my two BIOS to a different elementary school than the steps are going to..... Just so my kids can get a fair shake and not be burdened by the skids' reputations.
I used to hate it (b4 we had
I used to hate it (b4 we had our kids) because my SD was with us EVERY WEEKEND n sometimes weekdays too, so when we were kid free I didnt want ANYONE bringing her up, but honestly im glad I dont feel that way anymore, I understand tgat we dont like the fact that our marriages are diff. Fr. Those who only have kids with each other but at the end of the day we knew what we were getting into, we may have not thought about it REALY GOOD but it aint the kids fault, the only time I get bother is when DH bbys her (12yrs) n not my younger kids, aslong as he is fair since they are all his im ok..