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I hate being a stepmother.... this is the worst decision on my life.

PeanutandSons's picture

School called again last night. SS is in trouble AGAIN. So much for his "great" week that deserved rewards. He stole a pad of tady slips from the administrators. Should hear today fromvtge principal what punishment this infraction will incur. I doubt I'll be a third in school suspension, so probably out of school suspension. Fuck my life.

Then dh calls me today to tell me that mil called and wants an extra $150 for SD graduation dress (she's graduating elementary school, wtf) and he says he told her he'd be sending her an extra $500 out of our income tax refund. So fucking nice he doesn't discuss any of this with me. Like this isn't my money too. So now we are in a huge fight. Just great.

Comments

QueenBeau's picture

Fil taxes separately. He can send it out of his refund.

& if SS is suspended, after your DH didn't listen to what you thought his punishment should be - make him find arangements for his care.

DH isn't inconvenienced by any of this so he doesn't care. If he has to tote SS around for a week, he may start to get that he needs to discipline him to prevent this from happening.

PeanutandSons's picture

Its not MY problem in the sense that I deal with it directly or handle the discipline....but it bring the chaos and stress into my home. I am the one home after school three days a week while dh works and I am the only adult home all Saturdays while dh works. So even being as disengaged as I can be, it still affects a large part of my time.

farting_glitter's picture

wait....what?....an extra $150 for a dress for an Elementary kid???...what is it?...a Vera Wang dress?.....hell...*eyeroll*....

Willow2010's picture

I am just floored from the whole thing. Your DH needs to step up and control his kid. I know it is easier said than done. Your SS sounds a lot like mine when he was in elementary and JR high.

He never got any discipline either and he turned out sort of ok. (I thought he would end up in jail by 18)

I also think it would have been different if I would not have been around. DH would have coddled him will into his 20s if I had not been around. But it was MY hard and fast rule that you are out after HS graduation unless you are in college full time AND working part time.

I forgot that your SD stays with MIL. The money for the dress is absurd. Does DH give her CS money?

PeanutandSons's picture

Honestly, I have no idea what he sends her every month. I was told not to worry about it that it wasn't my concern when I asked.

Willow2010's picture

Honestly, I have no idea what he sends her every month. I was told not to worry about it that it wasn't my concern when I asked.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
:jawdrop:

You have WAY more problems than step issues then!! Wow. That is so disrespectful. Maybe that is where SS learns it....

PeanutandSons's picture

And this has now turned into a full fledged fight because I dared make a comment about him not even consulting me before making these decisions.

DaizyDuke's picture

GAH! sorry Peanut and your DH sounds so much like my DH. The same freaking exact words have come out of his mouth I was told not to worry about it that it wasn't my concern when I asked.

We actually got into a fight last night over money and SD of course. DH just doesn't get it, he just runs around buying SD whatever she wants whenever she wants... I mean just in the past 2 weeks it's been new basketball sneakers $100.00, a new mirror for her bedroom for $60.00 (no clue wtf was wrong with the one she already had in there) and then a new NorthFace for $150.00 (because a $75 coat at TJMaxx or Target would just not be good enough for the Princess!) Now this is just the crap I know about... guaran-freaking-tee there is a bunch of crap that I don't even know about so yeah, basically I'd say my DH on average blows about $300-$500 a month on SD. But when I say something about our dwindling checking account and these ridiculous purchases, then I am a jerk, it must be time for a divorce and I just hate SD and it's none of my concern. whatever. when MY fucking check gets deposited into the account that YOU are blowing money out of DH, then it IS my fucking concern.

Then of course DH tries to tell me that I also blow money on BS3 which is utterly hilarious because I literaly "blow" about $10-$20 MAX on BS3 a week. I usually get him one happy meal ($4), treat him every other week or so to Sweet Frog or Yogurtland ($6) and MAYBE a $5.00 toy once in a while at the grocery store or something. I got his Halloween costume used, off of Ebay and the last clothes I bought him were from a friends rummage sale. again, whatever... I'm getting pretty damn sick of it all. Sad

goincrazy.com's picture

Ok, I know that it may be easier said then done but it needs to be done. My $ will never go toward a skid who doesn't accept or respect me and I don't even give gifts after the first year we were together and they showed me their true colors. Our finances will stay separate. My FDH pays the bills and is open about his finances and I HELP him manage his money. I personally could not be in a relationship with SHARED $ and a husband who told me where my money was going and it;s not MY business. When you are married or share money you best believe it's MY business.

So ladies, be strong and open your own account. Stop sharing $ when "it's not your business" since it's not your business and they ask where your $ is going when it's not being deposited into the joint account YOU REPLY " IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS AND NONE OF YOUR CONCERN" Figure your own shit out. Until you can treat me as an equal like you treat my $ as an equal- then we can talk about where to go from here.

These men are really trippen, If someone told me I HAD to give them $ for xyz I would tell them where to go and how to get there.