The skids' first day of school didn't go well, and I fear that this is how the rest of the school year will go

In my last blog I mentioned how I had a really nice conversation with SS about how to make this school year a success. I really thought he might pull it together. I should have known better. He got sent home with a note on the first day. Really kid, the first friggin day? How out of control do you have to be to get a note home on the FIRST day?! The note said that he was fooling around, talking, and not paying attention all day.

His explaination? That a kid in class was showing the inside of him eye lids so he couldn't focus and he got in trouble for yelling at him. His tone and attitude showed that he completely felt it wasn't at all his fault, and it was this other kids fault for making it impossible for him to behave. I talked/lectured him on personal responsibilty and did everything I could to impress upon him that he is the only one responsible for his own behavior. In addiition to Tue note home, his shoes were completely untied and falling off his feet, brand new laces destroyed from being dragged around all day. And his polo shirt was buttoned all the way up to his neck. I have been telling this kid not to do that since kindergarten, he's now in 5th grade. The last two things were minor, but added to the aggitation.

Then this morning Dh asked.him about his day (first Dh has seen him since he works til the kids are in bed) and SS goes right back to his 'its the other kids fault', so everything I said yesterday went in one ear and out the other. It's always someone else's fault why he couldn't do the right thing, never his own. Until he accepts the concept that he is responsible for himself then nothing will ever get better. And its not that he is just trying to get out of trouble, he truly beleives that he is blameless in all of his own bad choices.

SD had a somewhat better day. No note home, but she is already starting her attention seeking behavior at school.... Trying to be the class clown. Kept going on and on how she's the funniest one in the class, and how she had everyone laughing all day. That even her teacher said how she was funny. I have no doubt that in a week or two the notes will be coming home from her teacher too, once sd's behavior conitunues. Even Dh said, oh god, so she's starting her crap again already too?. She also had her brand new sneakers completely untied and falling off her feet, laces destroyed on the first day.

I can see the next nine months in my crystal ball, and its not pretty. Another year of panic attacks as I get to the daycare to pick them up, wondering who did what that day. My chest tightening everytime my phone rings at work, for fear that its the school office about one of them. Shitty days after work dealing with their behavior from the day, shitty weekends where atleast one of them is on punishment.

I must have handed out small pox blankets let to the Native Americans in a previous life to be stuck dealing with kids like these.