First time post
Hi, this is gonna sound bad, but I can't stand my step daughter 5. I know she's only 5, but this child does everything she can to make my life miserable! She throws away my things, doesn't listen at all, and has even cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was sleeping and when I asked why, she said it was because I make her go to bed at a certain time and I won't give her a binnky. She is 5 she doesn't need one! I try to go to my husband but he just makes excuses for her, and when she does get in trouble with him she just cries, or should I say fake cries, because I swear she looks at me and smiles over her dads shoulder like ha ha. I know she is only 5 but I'm at my wits end, I've read books blogs anything and everything and nothing has worked I'm hoping you guys have some advice. Thanks!
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Sit your H down, look him in
Sit your H down, look him in the eye and tell him that he either parents his child or you are out.
And mean it.
She behaves this way because HE allows it to happen. Until he disciplines her and corrects her behavior there is nothing you can do to fix this. It's up to your H.
Was this going on before marriage? How did you handle it then??
No this didn't start
No this didn't start happening in till she moved back in with her mother. Which I expected some problems because her mom is almost 30, has never lived on her own, and moves every time a realitve kicks her out. I swear I'm not making this up! The only reason she wanted her was the money, she doesn't even spend time with her or parent her. She is allowed to do whatever she wants at her moms with no consequences. Hell she hasn't even had a Binky for years before she moved back in with her mother and she gave her one
I feel like I have to make
I feel like I have to make the decisions because if I don't then nothing gets done.
If this is true, then your
If this is true, then your husband is just as bad as BM. That poor kid is doomed.
my five year old SD does the
my five year old SD does the crying for "daddddy" thing while glaring at me evilly.... it's creepy.
It sounds like you are being
It sounds like you are being left alone to care for her (she doesn't like it that YOU send her to bed early, or that YOU won't give her a binky). IMHO, you should tell your husband that until he gets a handle on her, he should not be leaving her alone with you. When you're together, be nice to her, but don't correct her or parent her in any way if you can help it.
How long has she been back at her Mom's? If it's been less then six months, give her time to work through it. Her BM could be saying negative things about you, or most children just have a natural worship of the bioparent. So, if you get the chance, and it seems natural, remind her that you love her, and explain how she makes you feel.
If (while your husband is busy not leaving her alone with you) she asks why she can't stay home with you, or go to the store with you, be honest (in an age appropriate way). Tell her that she hurt your feelings, you don't like it, it makes you mad, and when you are mad, you are more apt to snap at her. So, until she can be nice, you are leaving her home.
Good luck with her!
Its only been about a month,
Its only been about a month, I actually talked to husband just now and it went well. He pointed out some things I didn't like, but are true, like the fact that he's usually sitting right there and I jump in before he can, and he understands that I had her for almost 4 years, but this is what judge and bm wanted and we have to stick to it, and hopefully bm will realize that she could barley handle her durning her visitations, she's not gonna be able to handle full time single mom thing. He also wants to start having daddy daughter days with her and hopefully we can stick to this plan, he can start being full time parent when she's here and I can just chill. He's even looking into day care while he's at work so I don't even have to watch her then! Yay! Now I just have to hope he sticks to it
Make sure he sticks to his
Make sure he sticks to his word and puts her in daycare.
A lot of men will automatically put their wives/girl friends/sig others in charge of their children. Most of the time without asking, assuming we want to be their mothers. However what usually happens is we become the disciplinarian, the maid, the cook, the chauffeur and the laundress. All the responsibility without any of the authority.
Taking a step back will do wonders and it sounds like you need a break from this situation.
Yeah! I think that's what
Yeah! I think that's what made him come to this conclusion that we need time away from each other
Man....there are days I want
Man....there are days I want a binky....and I am over 40. Sigh...
Exactly! He acted like citing
Exactly! He acted like citing my hair was no big deal, but the fact that she had to get in a drawer in the computer desk, because before now I never felt the need to hide them, and do this shows she needs some help!