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Worried about FDH

pixiedust10's picture

FDH has been so strong through all this mess with BM and the skids, but it's now taking it's toll more. The good is that he got visitation with SS10 Saturday after BM's turn,and is getting phone visitation every night with him (whereas BM isn't), so that's better. SS10 is holding up okay, He starts a 8 week parenting class tomorrow, his anger eval came back fine, and his psych eval is next week. He's worried about SS7. The social worker that was assigned to SS7's case is out of town. Last Thursday we were told by the DFCS supervisior and the case worker they would foster as much communication between FDH and the SS's as possible, but he's not heard anything other than that SS7 was scheduled to get out of the hospital Saturday, go back to the foster home he was at temporarily until they could locate a family that could better handle him. (He tried to climb out their window and got suspended from school the second day there.) Not one word. He keeps calling DFCS and they keep sending the calls to VM, he's called his attorney yesterday, no word from him yet either. He has understood to this point that he can't always talk to them and see them, but with the regular social worker who is out of town, up until she was out of town, he was getting almost daily updates from her, and she was calling him to come to the ER to comfort SS7 before he got admitted to the behavioral hospital, she was calling him if SS7 needed calming when she was with him. She had him talk to SS7 at the end of the only actual visitation (other than that ER trip) to calm him after his mother upset him, and now...NOTHING. He's heartbroken, worried, and depressed. He says he feels like he's starting to fall, that he's failing them, etc...I don't know what else to do. We need prayer...badly...

Comments

Willow2010's picture

Oh my. Your story is so terrible!! So sorry and prayers coming your eay!

pixiedust10's picture

He sleeps okay but not great. I am going to pick him up some melatonin shortly here on lunch and fix us this taco ranch soup stuff for dinner and margaritas and just veg out on the couch. As long as he's okay, I've been okay, but when I heard him sound so discouraged on the phone this morning on his break I started to well up with tears. I don't do that. I am supposed to be the strong one. Smile

whatwasithinkin's picture

Oh pixie i have had you on my mind. I feel so sorry for the boys and dh. But i feel so bad for you. It is so hard to remain so positve and get dh through it when im sure your ready to rip some social agency a new ass. I think it is the hardest watching the men we care about be put through so much. Hang in there

pixiedust10's picture

Thanks so much. I chose to stick with FDH through all of this, so I try not to feel sorry for myself. I don't have anything obligatory holding me with him (vehicles, a mortgage, bios, etc) . I get frustrated, and sometimes I do feel sorry for myself, but I love my FDH, we still have what we had when we got together. That's what's important. It's not dead. My kids are coping well, his kids NEED to be away from BM, even though they aren't with us. I just ask for prayers for strength for us, for those boys to be watched, and for patience. LOTS of patience. BS6 is hanging tough but he misses the SS's badly. He doesn't understand, and he gets quiet and starts to cry a little when I tell him I don't know when we get to see them again (but of course that we will)...