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Remember that episode of the Cosby Show?

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:05am

The one where Vanessa brings home the much older fiance and surprises the family by announcing that they are engaged and that he dropped out of school and works as a janitor...

Cliff made the analogy that Vanessa presented her boyfriend like a fine meal on trash can lid, that his dislike of the new beau was because of bad "presentation."

I used that analogy to explain to DH how many of the issues pertaining to Skids and BM can be attributed to presentation. When we got married, DH tried to force the Brady Bunch Effect and it backfired, so EVERYONE (including SKs) felt imposed upon. BM, of course was a problem from Day 1 of her presentation...I'll give a play by play some other time, but rest assured my extreme disdain for her is warranted. MIL plays favorites, encourages a relationship between DH and BM and tries to serve as a go-between.

How many of you agree that many of the problems that we have with SKs, MIL, and BM can be traced back to that "Its all in the presentation" theory?

Comments

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:39am

Nah, if I am to believe some of the stories I read here, some of these BMs and skids are no 'fine meal'. Parents have to know that their children are not a selling point to most potential mates, so they dress the situation up to get you to take the bait (as most people 'dress themselves up' while dating)...then you start to catch on, but its much harder to get away after you're invested.

I'm a huge fan of the Cosby Show, though.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:42am

I think a lot of issues wouldn't be so bad if people would be mindful & take a little care in their presentation. Not to say that there wouldn't still be issues, but it certainly could make situations more pleasant.

Of course, the care needs to be taken by all who are presenting.

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:43am

Not saying that BMs and SKs are a fine meal,

mine are definitely struggling to stay on the dollar menu,

I just found it an interesting point and it also helped DH see where I'm coming from.

LizGrace65's picture

Submitted by LizGrace65 on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:37am

The opposite of bad presentation - "polishing a turd."

My BIL used to say that whenever somebody took pains to dress up something that was pretty much a bad deal regardless of dressing. Once he said it about my mother doing repairs on her house LOL.

L

LizGrace65's picture

Submitted by LizGrace65 on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:22pm

The sad part is that at times when I'm feeling down on myself, that phrase goes through my head when I'm dressing up to go out. What can you do? That's actually pretty funny. Smile

L

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:35pm

I use that phrase, too. I first heard it in school when we would critique each other's assignments. If critiques went on too long, the simpler answer was usually to just start over, cuz the project was a turd to begin with.