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Should SD14 be invited to my baby shower?

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 8:45am

My grandmother is planning my baby shower for next month. She told me about the guest list and asked if SD14 will be in attendance. I told her I will get back to her. I don't know. I really don't want her there I really don't. But my younger cousins who are around her age will be there and DH knows that. I know he will flip his wig if I dare say that SD14 is not invited. I don't want her there because I know how she is. She will get to my grandmother’s house and flounce around like she is better than everyone else. Whisper snarky comments to my cousins. Eat like we starve her to death and complain that it’s taking too long. I don't want her there but I don't want her to think I'm excluding her and really make her feel like the baby is more important and no one wants her around. And I don't want DH pissed at me. I don't know what to do.

Comments

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 8:58am

No. No. No Way In HELL. NO! After what she's done to you - she should be no where near you on your special day. She will make it all about her and your DH needs to respect that.

itsmylifetoo's picture

Submitted by itsmylifetoo on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 8:58am

Do you think its about time you have a talk with sd14? This child will be her half sibling, I would lay it on the line with her. I dont know how your relaionship with is, sounds like the two of you have been tumultuous? Can she have a rraponsibility at the shower? Sd14 may end up loving this beautiful new baby. Talk with dh about strategies for behavior with sd before the shower?

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 9:10am

I say invite her....but make the expectations very clear to dh.Either she behaves appropriately (and specifically list all the behaviors you are concerned about) or she will be asked to leave....even if that means dh leaving with her to take her home.

Drac0's picture

Submitted by Drac0 on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 9:15am

Ask your grandmother to invite her? This way you are not the one inviting her. If she shows up, and acts like a jerk, it's not on you since you didn't invite her. If she refuses the invite, then you don't have to suffer her presence.

Not exactly a win-win situation but at least there is little to no blowback on you.

PokaDotty's picture

Submitted by PokaDotty on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 9:16am

I agree, she should be invited. However, use the opportunity to start setting boundaries about acceptable behaviour. If she acts out, put DH on notice that he needs to support you and follow thru with removing her from the party.

somedevilishbeauty's picture

Submitted by somedevilishbeauty on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 9:41am

I say invite her but then try to find something going on in town or something that she would rather go to with friends or her dad and drop hints to her about that "not thinking that its the day of your shower" and then see if she picks the other event.

porcelian-doll's picture

Submitted by porcelian-doll on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 9:49am

breath mairin breath. I appreciate how much you care. I wish you could talk to my DH for me.

DarkStar's picture

Submitted by DarkStar on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 10:53am

I agree that it's a no win situation....

You invite SD and you know she'll be the annoying bitch that she is.
You don't invite SD and you're the big meanie SM again.

Since you're not going to win either way, might as well make yourself happy and NOT invite SD.

Your DH is being more supportive of his bratty 14 year old daughter than he is his pregnant wife!!!! I'm with Mairin, this is about YOUR shower, YOUR day as mom. Baby shower attendees are people that are happy and supportive of you and your baby. Bratty SDs are not part of this equation. She would go just to try to ruin things and get attention. You don't need that, your life has been filled with enough of that.
Put your foot down!!!!!! No bratty spoiled SDs involved! Do not allow her the chance to spoil things.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 12:54pm

Isnt this the girl who called you a lazy biatch the other day? Based on that, I would have to vote no she does not need to be there. Why would she want to attend a lazy biatch's event any way?

If your dh asks, or the skid asks, I'd simply stress how important the day is to YOU, it's about YOU, and for YOU, and you are simply uncomfortable with the idea of ANYONE who has called you a bitch attending.

myspoonistoobig's picture

Submitted by myspoonistoobig on Tue, 09/10/2013 - 2:29pm

No. She's 14. I went to a baby shower once at that age, and it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever done.

It's about having babies. Most 14-year-olds are uncomfortable with the idea of having babies. Poopy diaper games? Baby decor? A bunch of women talking baby stuff?

Don't invite her, especially is she's a huge bitch as well. On no planet does it makes sense for you to HAVE to invite a younger teen to a baby shower.