Its still pretty crappy, but at least it didn't get worse. Ss has been doing the online school this week. We hired a "nanny" to watch him while we work. She has been really great. She is very understanding. WHich helps because Ss refuses to answer any of her questions.

Ss still hates our guts. And he looks like we are going to kill him every time we come near. My Dh feels like a monster (his words) for how he acted last week. Ss will need to do school in summer to make up all the time he missed. Its good in a way. At least he'll have something to do.

And Ss lost all the weight I was able to make him gain. It really frustrated me. I went out of my way making sure his food servings have more calories. All for nothing.

Ss has officially been diagnosed with having fecal incontinence yesterday. I don't mention it much but Ss has had accidents in his bed at least once or twice every two weeks. We have gone through 4 mattresses now. We use multiple layers of sheets. My Dh refuses to put rubber sheets. He says its not fair to Ss. Which I understand. But mattresses are expensive. Thank goodness we make good money. Ss has a weak anal sphincter caused by the abuse. He can't feel when he has to go. He usually sits on the toilet 3 times a day to avoid accidents. And it usually works. But he does have accidents overnight. And if he's taking laxatives, there a 90% chance it happens. Most of the time he cleans up himself. When we try helping he just screams at us. He called me the c word once, which hurt.

So now we have to try external electrical stimulation to strengthen the sphincter muscles. We have another appointment in 2 weeks to see how to do it. What the heck are we supposed to do? Ss doesn't know about it yet. Maybe we should get a nurse. Maybe he can do it himself. I'm sure he would prefer that. My heart aches for what he has to go through. But at the same time I feel scared thinking about the next appointment. If the stimulation doesn't work, its surgery. Which we really don't want to do.