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OT: Moral Dilemma...

princessmofo's picture

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? If you are still legally married on paper but no longer cohabitate, and decide to "date" someone else is it considered infidelity? Thoughts?

Comments

notsobad's picture

I know this isn't a popular opinion on here but I think it's okay to date. I think you let the person know that you are still married on paper and let them decide if that is a problem for them.

It took almost 10 years for my divorce to go through, for a variety of reasons, and there's no way I was going to sit at home and not date.

zerostepdrama's picture

Agree with this. As long as everyone is on the same page and know where everyone stands.

princessmofo's picture

Right! It's a matter of communication. I would be sure to extend the courtesy to my almost ex that I was, indeed, moving on and to let him know to feel free to do the same. Smile

secondplace's picture

I wouldn't consider it cheating if you were no longer cohabitating. Now, if you were in the habit of splitting up, then getting back together often, that would be different. I would then feel like you were just "on a break".

BethAnne's picture

The more pertinent question is does infidelity have any legal standing where you are residing? I thought most places now do not require reasons for a divorce to be disclosed in official proceedings. Isn't that somewhat archaic to need to justify why you can get divorced and for one party to be blamed for the divorce?

uofarkchick's picture

Dang, my prediction was deleted. Guess she doesn't appreciate spoilers.

bearcub25's picture

How about.....If you tell someone they are being immature and childish and acting like a high school kid, then you post a blog calling them out bc they don't do what YOU think they should, aren't you the one that is immature and childish.

Snowflake's picture

If a couple separates because of problems within the relationship, then if it's over, it's over.

When I seperated from my exhusband, we had to wait a year to even be able to file for divorce.

learningallthetime's picture

With my SO, he was legally divorced, but the dumbass did not put a timeline on the "she will move out", so it was just when she found a house to her liking. She had to contribute to the bills, but she was still living in the house when we started dating. It was NOT fun...for any of us. I was frustrated because I felt like the dirty secret, he was frustrated because she was still in his house, she was frustrated because even though she cheated, they were divorced, as she was still in the house she "thought we would be working this out". And no, they did not even share a bedroom or bathroom. Luckily it resolved after we had dated 3 months - think she realized he had moved on and she was only annoying him and gave up. Now, 18 months later we are still going strong! They had split a while before we started dating though and their divorce was final 6 months before we met, but still it was a mess.

Acratopotes's picture

I'm sorry but from a different world and belief....

If you are legally married on paper, you are married, regardless if you live in the same house or not and no dating is not okay in my eyes, I see it as cheating..... I know it works differently in other countries....

But I once saw a movie where the couple was legally separated, the man started dating, knocked up the new woman and suddenly decided to try again with his wife? The wife had to accept this new baby as his... that made my mind up for me.. I will never date a man who can not show me a divorce certificate, nothing stops him and his spouse from trying again even if you lived with him for 5 years... nothing then you have wasted a life time being a mistress IMO