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Evil twist to my evil fantasy

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sat, 09/11/2010 - 11:53pm

My fantasy was to secretly do a paternity test on H and SD and anonomously mail him and BM the results if the kid turned out to not be his. I always get tripped up on the part where I have to get the saliva samples without anyone knowing what I was up to. It's my fantasy so I just glaze over that part but last night my mind went to a very dark and evil place when I got to this point in my fantasy.

So I thought, ya know, I could probably just write the letter myself. Make it look legit and professional...letterhead, logos, etc... H would never know the difference. Probably wouldn't question it. The letter itself anyway. Once he got the letter I would cut him off at the pass before he called BM to find out wtf was going on. I could easily convince him that it was most likely BM's mother doing it as they hate each other immensely. Then I would suggest that we get our own test done before we bring it up to BM just to be sure it's not a hoax meant to cause trouble by making it look like H was trying to get out of his responsibility. So H would submit to testing voluntarily and TA DA! ...sample collection problem solved.

I swear, if I put my mind to work on good instead of evil I could solve world hunger, global warming, the ozone hole, etc... Unfortunately for the world, evil is much more fun Blum 3

Comments

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 1:46am

You do make a good point...if that happened I would say "see? now aren't you glad I stopped you from calling BM and stirring up trouble for nothing? It was probably BM's crazy mom trying to start sh!t". He wouldn't want any drama (H avoids conflict at all costs and for once it would work in my favor lol) so he would probably never question anyone about it.

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 1:15am

I believe it's possible SD is not his. She looks nothing like him or BM but looks suspiciously similar to her other kid from her first marriage. And, from what I've heard, BM has been around the block a few times...in a bus Wink

I of all people have no room to talk in that regard as I've toured the block myself but combined with not looking like him I just think there may be a chance. I'd like to know for my own personal reasons. If it turned out she was his then it MAY help me accept her a little better. If she's not his...well, I at least won't feel so bad about how I feel about her. If he decided to play daddy anyway I could opt out of the whole mess without so much guilt and say "not your kid, not my problem". Plus there would be the added bonus of making BM publicly look like the douchbag she is. }:)

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 1:36am

BM makes a buttload and we do not so his cs is minimal...totally worth paying for the answer. I did not know that about cs though. That is seriously screwed up. WTF? If I had known that I would have named some random rich guy instead of my x on my kids cert hahahaha! Bill Gates maybe? Probably doesn't work that way either lol

punkysue's picture

Submitted by punkysue on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 12:28am

thats clever... my hubby has two grown kids and i myself wonder if they are really his just because he was in the navy and was out to sea 6 months at a time.. home only for short periods of time and for the fact she cheated on him twice that he knows of... it sure would explain some things.. lol

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 1:32am

True...I have my doubts.

It's my opinion that if these men want us to accept their spawn theey should at least PROVE the kid/s are theirs. I mean really, imagine all the grief the stepmoms of the world have put up with...and for a kid that may not even be their SO's...I'd like proof before I put in a whole lot of effort.

I have made comments in passing...disguised as humor...to feel H out on the topic. He does not like to think of this possibility.

One such time (and a funny story) H was telling me SD was going to be very tall when she grew up. Stating that she measured in the 95% for height for her age. H and BM are not tall people, nor are their families. I said to H "you better hope she doesn't grow very tall". He asked why I would say that. I said, "well, where exactly do you think she would be getting that trait from". The look on his face when he realized the answer was priceless.

Another time...H made reference to "You know what they say, mama's boy and daddy's little girl" while describing his strong (wierd is more like it) attachment to SD. To this I replied "Or as my mom used to say, 'mama's baby, daddy's maybe'..." Again with the look. He really does not like to think about the possibility that SD isn't his. I think thou doth protest too much.

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 1:40am

Buy a kit online. About $20-30. If your H isn't sure he may be willing to do it if you are standing there with the cheek swab. Swab SS5. He's so young he wouldn't think anything of it. After that you just mail it to the lab. There's a fee of $200-300 for the labwork but so worth your peace of mind.

Yeah, I've done my homework on this LOL }:)

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 2:35am

If your DH wouldn't give her up even knowing she wasn't his wouldn't BM still have that as leverage? Actually, in this case, I would think that proving SD wasn't his would make it worse assuming your DH is determined to be in her life. He would have no legal rights (possibly?) and would have to endure more crap from BM to see the kid. Unless...and I know this is a strech for many BM's...she was more concerned about SD having a father in her life than screwing with you and DH and was just grateful that he still wanted to be around.

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 5:26am

That's why it's my 'fantasy' instead of my 'game plan'...

Blogged about it and how I'd never do it for the exact reasons you mentioned if you care to take a look...

It's my happy place Wink

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 5:27pm

LOL Thank you, it's what's written in the "about me" section on my FB Smile

Can't remember where I read it but it suits me well.

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 8:21am

Yeah.. Iw ould like to get a test done on youngerstepson... as I am fairly certain he is "Not the father" of DH. I mean come on... he has blond hair... and my dh has black hair and Wide load psycho bm has dark brown hair. Hmmm... Hounds like not a match to me. Even the kids always says that his hair doens't match.

They were seperated when she was two months preggo with youngerstepson. SOunds to me like maybe she tried to get together with baby daddy and he probably blew her off because she is a fat ass psycho.

quippers01's picture

Submitted by quippers01 on Sun, 09/12/2010 - 9:36pm

LOL Sadly, no. As much joy as it would bring me to prove SD wasn't his, it would devestate H.

I do thouroughly enjoy the fantasy though Biggrin