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I am a free agent.... work wise.

Rags's picture

DW and I flew back  after a week of prep to sell our TX home late last night.  Just as I turned out the light after midnight, I got a meeting notification from my employer for this AM.

 So, I started my first, and last day of work, back from a week off, with my daily morning team leadership meeting, delegated my later 09:00 mtg, and, called into the meeting related to the late night meeting notification.

The company decided to go in a different direction with my role, I was ready to resign anyway. So, officially, for the first time in my career. I got "fired".  I have been RIF'd before, displaced due to a couple of mergers, and had to transition companies after the end of Expat assignments. But, never been released for cause. Not that there was any stated cause this time.

Just.... "we have decided to go in a different direction with the role".

I am remarkably not bothered by it though how it went down has me cycling a bit.  Between relief, anger, and embarrassment.  Not sure which of these is rational, I know that some element of what I am cycling through isn't.

Embarrassed because my bride is once again supporting us. For the 3rd time in our nearly 29 year marriage.  The first time was for a year following the Semiconductor industry implosion, though I did work storm adjusting assignements. The second was for 2yrs during COVID starting a year after we retured from our international assignments. I did do remote consulting for UAE companies and Texas companies for those two years.  

This time, I intend to look at roles a step or two down the ladder so I can max investments while supporting DW as the primary career for the next 6-8 years.

So, the question is, how difficult is it going to be for a nearly 60yo who just got "fired" to find a role that pays well? If I was a hiring manager, I would tend to invest that salary level in a younger person with a longer career horizon as a high-pot development candidate.

Comments

JRI's picture

It feels like bad news but it's actually good news.  That role, with the politics and nutty employees, was bad for your health.  That door closed, there's another opening.

ESMOD's picture

I'm hopefuly you will find some good opportunities out there.  Not sure what your skill set or role is.. but would it be possible to find jobs that might not be full time permanent.. but project based for example?  Something that might be a several month to a year?  More in a consultant vein?  At your career stage you would have decent experience so maybe that would be something to explore.  I would suggest seeing if there are any "head hunters" that you might connect with to discuss what is out there right now.. the market.. updates to your resume etc.. they normally charge the employer.

I'm also not sure what your general outlook was on working.. how long you were planning to work.. if earlier retirement was an option or goal etc.. I'm close to your age.. and I could see myself easing into retirement sooner than later.. we never know how much time we really have.. I don't want to work till I drop dead.. haha.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

You didn't want this job and this way means that they have to pay you to go.  Win-win.  

As JRI says, it wasn't a good environment for your health.

Don't see it as being fired, you know that they were making budget savings and that's what this probably is.  

Lots of companies hire for experience.  They want someone who can do what they need them to do without training.  That's invaluable.

Have you thought about working with a career coach to help you to hone in on what you really want to do next?  

SMto3's picture

Rags,  you called it! You said this was going to happen, and I'm sure you're feeling all sorts of emotions but...you're free! To go seek something somewhere with more organization and saner people to work with (possibly). I am currently supporting my husband (it's been a year) and I know that can be hard on some men. Trust me, with all the support you've given your wife, I'm sure bride of Rags knows how difficult this is for you and just wants you to be okay. I don't know that we all want for our partners to just be okay, and if it means supporting you for a period of time, it's what partnerships were for! "The good and bad times, richer or poorer" etc etc. 

If anything, you could always do content for social media to help launch people into the real world.  I can see your "burning platform" idea making millions on Tiktok. There's barely a stepfamily section there, at least not the normal ones. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Even though rejection sucks, this was for the best. You hated that job. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, looking for something a step or two lower. The goal is keeping busy and supporting yourself and your wife, not seeking status. You've been there/done that. Imagine heading to work and realizing you don't dread it. Or, maybe (long shot these days) realizing you actually look forward to going to work. Good luck on your new life adventure! 

Cover1W's picture

My supervisor just had this happen to her. Her role is changing, and the uppers didn't see her fitting in. So she's gone. And I liked working with her. She's taking the summer off then job searching.

I think you can frame it as the job changed and my former employer decided they wanted someonecto do x, y and z instead of a, b, c so it was decided to let me go. Personally it's a bit like a layoff. You are lucky you wife can support you! And that she is happy in her position. Take the time to find something you really want to stick with.

Merry's picture

I've supported DH and me for most of our relationship. I love the full-time grind. He doesn't. It works for us, until I start to feel overwhelmed with responsibility while he's having fun. We've learned to communicate through that and we rarely have any trouble in that regard anymore. And, I bet your bride is happy to carry the  load. Full partnership.

Careers aren't what they used to be -- long stretches of years with the same employer. People move in and out of jobs more quickly, and if I were hiring and somebody with great skills could give me three years or better, that's a win.

Lean into the change and enjoy the ride.

ESMOD's picture

My DH doesn't work full time employment either.. and I  have had the same full time job throughout our relationship of 20 years too.  Part of the reason is the type of work he does... he is a boat captain.  He has worked for himself, held full time jobs.. and PT jobs.. and even gone without working.  His financial contributions have varied.. but I would not say his contribution has been unequitable.

He almost always was able to cover his child support obligations.. plus business related expenses.. and normally more.  but he also did so many things for us that saved us money.. built a house.. did most of our car and other repairs around the house.  He also generally was not a frivolous spender.. so it's not like he had some expensive hobby I was underwriting while he tinkered around.  He also does a lot for my father.. his parents etc.. and the job he has right now is one that is very flexible and he only works when they need fill ins.. which can be a couple times a week give or take..  He tried to work there FT.. but the round the clock shifts they work.. the distance from where he had to commute.. make it super exhausting for him.. was highly disruptive of my sleep (and I commute 2 hours each way.. so not good).. and made it almost impossible for us to have time off together on weekends and when I wanted to do things.. his days off always seemed opposite mine.  So.. the money he earned (which wasn't actually super great when you factored in the cost of fuel for the truck).. was pretty meager for the effort and interference.

Now.. he can be off whenever I want to be.. I get 5 weeks of vacation.. every other friday plus 13 holidays.. in otherwords.. a LOT of time off.. and we are at an age where we want to enjoy that.. and so it makes sense for us to do it this way. (his kids are adults.. so no CS).

He also is head of family communications in our house.  He talks to my 93 yo dad daily (keeping me in the will I joke..).. and plus his dad.. his kids.. our crazy neighbor.. he really has a lot on his plate!

Rags's picture

I have worked for 6 companies in the nearly 30 years since university graduation (8yrs, 2yrs, 10.5yrs, 2.5yrs, 1yr, 2yrs).  I have worked consulting for 4yrs interspersed between the direct hire full time roles between the 6 companies.  Some of the consulting was incredibly lucritive, others were basically volunteer based to keep my resume active.

Dad worked for 4 companies over his career. Two of them twice.  My brother, who graduated from engineering school with me, has worked for 4 companies.  One for over 20 years, before changing compnaies.

I sometimes lament not having gone to work for a Federal agency, county, or city and given my bride and the Skid a stable 

Though the counterpoint is the international assignments, etc....

 

thinkthrice's picture

With zero notice once the merger was complete.  Called in to a conference room on Friday and told the "metrics don't merit my position." Then 15 minites and a box treatment whilst security staff stands over you.    Upsetting at the time but life goes on.   Have you thought of changing careers entirely?

JRI's picture

As ESMOD says, a DH's "value" isn't solely their income.  And, over the years, each spouse's $ contribution varies.  I know you have solid financial goals but I hope you will open your mind to some other ideas.

In the early years, DH and I both worked, he made more but mine sort of made up for exH being a deadbeat dad and paying no CS.  He was the plant superintendent for a construction-related factory.  Once we started getting the SKs so regularly, I quit work to be a SAHM.  So he was our sole support for about 10 years tho I worked part-time.  During this time, I did most of the day-to-day child care tho he did a lot with the 5 kids on weekends and was involved in their lives.

Once I started full-time, our $ contribution was more equal tho I took over the family health insurance.  The kids were getting older and needing less supervision.  He lost his job about ten years later so I was our sole support for about 3 years and he worked part-time and minimal jobs.  The kids were gone and I was heavily involved in my career.  He picked up more of the house chores.

He began his last job as a property manager for a large, historic commercial property.  Our salaries were again more nearly equal tho I still carried the health insurance and was able to do a 401k.  When he retired 11 years ago, he took over almost all the house chores and all errands (bank, gas, cleaners, etc).  This allowed me to give my mom and invalid sister time.

Now, we are both retired and on Social Security, each getting roughly the same amount.  My 401k is supplementing monthly so I'm probably contributing more.

My point in all this is: things vary over time.  Your DW knows you and has probably been concerned about your health and stress at your former job.  You two have surmounted challenges in the past.  I'm guessing she will gladly support you while you detox and might be secretly glad to have more help at home.

It will all work out and be fine.

ESMOD's picture

I do think that men can have a harder time being "underemployed".. a lot of their sense of self and purpose may be crafted in that "what do you do for a living" type of mind set.

I think that is what helps my DH to an extent working PT.. he is still "doing something for a living".. even though it's not fully funding his living in cash so to speak.

And.. believe me.. it's awfully nice to be able to lean on someone else to do errands.. house stuff.. he does all the driving when we go places.. he keeps all our stuff "going".. and maybe taking care of ME is a full time job.. hahaha

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I'm sorry for the way this happened - but I think in the long run you will be better off. You have always found another job, and I am sure you will this time too. Maybe take the summer to "reset" and then start really looking in the fall.

Rags's picture

I got a text at 05:45 this AM.  One of my 4 (former) direct reports resigned without notice this AM via e-mail. He led my Reliability Engineering and Maintenance Spares team.  He invited me to breakfast. I just got home.  He had told me about 6mos ago that the only reason he came to work was because I was there.  As I was driving home yesterday AM I thought about him and figured he would resign just before the holidays. Nope, he was done when he left the office at EOD yesterday.

I actually feel bad for my recently returned #2.  He reached out to me yesterdayexpressing his shock and wants to get together for lunch soon.  With the head of the Reliability department resigning this AM, I am worried about my former #2. He has done a lot of work to stablize himself, therapy, 12step, etc....   He had made remarkable progress over the past year.  I pray that this all does not cause him a major setback in his personal life and mental/emotional health.

That environment/company is toxic. Yelling, intimidation, fully reactive management practices, nearly constant threats of "disciplinary action up to and including termination".

My bride said last night when she got home from work that I looked "clear".  Apparently the "worry lines" were gone. 

Unknw

DW and I discussed litigation. Maybe that is an option?

It is not my personal thought process to litigate. I have been involved in a number of wrongful termination suits over the years having to give statements to lawyers on both sides when someone filed suit after a lay off, termination, etc.....   This firm has had a number of suits on going for well over a year.  

My concern is that law suits are public record and that might impact future opportunities.  I will take some time to consider what is next. Both work wise, and legal action wise.  Though I am leaning toward just putting it all behind me. For now anyway.

My phone has been blowing up all morning with messages from my former direct reports and 2-down managers. My team had 9 managers including me.  Counting the resignation, 4 of the other 8 ( besides me) have asked me to contact them when I am in my next role if I have opportunities for them.

The support is amazing.  I am humbled by the unrequested reach outs from my team.

I am also very grateful for all of you.

Regards, 
Rags

ESMOD's picture

Unless your industry is extremely "small".. which mine is actually.  It's unlikely that bringing a valid legal complaint will impact your ability to be hired in the future.  

I can see based on your age that is probably where your DW sees this as a possible targetted reduction of people in a protected class.. companies can't just get rid of older employees because they want to reduce costs... they have to be very careful how they proceed with that.

In the environment of your job.. it's actually more likely that someone was able to strong arm and bully people who may have tried to point out that the reduction(s) could be viewed as contra to protected employment law. More bad things happen in these toxic environments because the repercussions and punative treatment make people just "go along" esp if the really need that job to survive.

So.. go "talk" to them.. and see what they say.  Of course.. they are lawyers.. if the case is done for a portion of proceeds.. they will likely not take it if they don't see much chance of a healthy award.. or an inability to collect on said reward.  If it will cost YOU? I would probably not want to risk rolling the dice with my own money.. esp being in between jobs.

Rags's picture

I am protected class in two categories. Age and disability.

There was also no specific criteria communicated, measurable performance has improved by ~25%+.

There are also significant indicators of co-employement violations.

I am not looking for a pay-day. Or payback.  THough I certainly would not balk at a notable settlement offer.

This company has more than half a dozen active wrongful termination or hostile work environment law suits in play... as of the first quarter of 2023. They had a number during 2022 as well.  tThree I was interviewed for.  One was a complete fabricated money grab (IMHO), two were due to bad decisions by the employees's direct manager.  The company transfered that manager. I had put him on a final written warning.

This compnay has a history of transferring problems.  I received 3 of them, without a choice, in my two year and 3wk tenure.  The first two were disasters.  The third, was my re-tread on the spectrum, alcolohic, #2.  Whe the client banned him from he site he was leading, they swapped him with his replacement.  I truly hope he succeeds.

 

 

 

 

 

2Tired4Drama's picture

FWIW, I would not recommend it. I had one of the best labor law attorneys in the country and my former employer was very high profile. Despite having loads of definitive written proof of discrimination/retaliation and many depositions from witnesses, it still took several years to get to the point where they were going to settle. But it was conditional on a lifetime gag order and I absolutely refused.  My freedom of speech is worth more than that. I decided to retire early instead. Best decision I made and I honestly think leaving all that toxicity prolonged my life.  I was so stressed out I knew it was a matter of time before something hit me physically. 

So you have to decide how much is your life worth, and is it worth it to continue to be aggravated and stressed out having to continue to deal with these people. For me, it was not.

Plus, the biggest payback for me was when another employee (lower paid and much more vulnerable) was subjected to similar treatment. I was able to tell her and her attorney that I would GLADLY provide them with a deposition/information as to my experiences, and be sure to remind the employer that I was able and willing to talk.  Luckily, she was able to work out a settlement of some sort that did help her out. 

TheBrightSide's picture

You know...that saying...when one door closes, a window opens...or something like that.  You're so lucky to have an amazing partner.  

Thinking of you.

Lillywy00's picture

OMG- I though you escaped a miserable step-parenthood sentence...lol

I almost got fired at this job from h3ll a few years ago....

Anytime they randomly call you in for a 'meeting' and refuse to provide details on said meeting, it's not good.

Anyways that place was toxic and I'm on to better ventures

Good luck to in in your future opportunities