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I have decided.....

Rags's picture

Being pragmatic when dealing with blended family drama is the way to go. Be firm, assertive, and locked in step with the CO and most important of all be PRAGMATIC!

When the opposition gets stupid, stomp on them to get them back in line - Pragmatic.

When it is not unreasonable to give an inch for the best interests of the SKid and your family then do it - Pragmatic

When the Skid needs parenting and the opposition or your own SO won't do it step up and do it. - Pragmatic.

When the blended family opposition gives you clear evidence of their vitriolic crap either hot from their own lips or finger tips then record it or print it, organize it for court, roll it up in a tight tube and beat the snot out of them with it. Pragmatic.

If you get an idiot bottom 10%er family law judge then manage them the same way you do the opposition. Use fact, logic, the evidence from the opposition and force the moron in the black robe and stupid little wooden hammer to do their job. Pragmatic.

When the opposition is reasonable and will team with you to nurture the best interests of the Skid then work with them. Pragmatic.

Set your goals, establish your strategy and adjust to any opportunity that arises to force your will on the blended family opposition for the best interest of your family.

Just what has worked well for me over the past 18 or so years.

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

Seriously Rags, I will take your advice and RUN WITH IT. I have so much respect for how you handle your family, I can only hope to be as successful as you have been in managing this crazy life as a blended family. Thank you for sharing.

Colorado Girl's picture

Smile

Not all of us are as confident, realistic, secure, and no-nonsense, as you, though.

I also think that "pragmatic" can often be disquised as "idealistic" in where someone is so focused on their own ideals in what is right, they will never compromise for a greater good ~ where being pragmatic is taking the same situation and making the best choice of what is available.

There are points where I've found that letting go of the power in what I thought right (rather then pushing it) has allowed me to come to a much better place.

There is no right or wrong. Only what is right for me.

Rags's picture

I absolutely agree that each person needs to do what works for them. Each blended family adventure is distinctively unique and requires different approaches that can be effectively used by those in the unique situation.

My own personal delusion is Pragmatism. Identify the target, fire, adjust as necessary to hit it and move on to the next problem.

Regardless of what perspective one may use it is about doing what is right for that person.

Regards,