Bm told ss that dh isn't his father!!
I'm so pissed off and have been since Friday night that I can't sleep and can barely eat. We picked ss up for visitation and in the car he says I know your not my dad and my real dad is James. I talked to him on skype and I look just like him. I get to see him next weekend and then I don't have to see you anymore. Dh was driving and he had tears running down his cheeks. I hate her so much I wish I could hurt her back.
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Isn't that the outcome you
Isn't that the outcome you hoped for? Expected as it were?
I never expected bm to tell
I never expected bm to tell ss or for him to meet his birth father. I just assumed that things would continue to be the same except dh wouldn't be afraid of bm anymore. Now she is trying to take him from dh. She had a dna test run on ss and the guy and this guy wants to be a part of his life now. Where does that leave dh?
Nowhere as it's not his son.
Nowhere as it's not his son. By confronting BM it allowed the truth to come out and for her to remove the relationship.
Thank you another. Most
Thank you another. Most definitely doesn't work that way here. Having said that the BM/ SS can make this mans life so horrible that he will sign his rights away or allow the real BF to adopt the child.
I'm with you on this one
I'm with you on this one Echo. She is kind of a BIG jerk...
Why am I a jerk because I
Why am I a jerk because I don't like my ss? Rubbing it into his face would make me a jerk and I would never hurt a kid like that.
The things you said about
The things you said about that child. You are kind of a bully. I get not caring for a child when his behavior is bad, they are disrespectful... whatever the case may be, but you are talking trash about this child's physical appearance. That's just rude.
No, a bully would say it to
No, a bully would say it to my ss. I said it to a message board online.
Oh, so because he didn't hear
Oh, so because he didn't hear you talking bad about him, that makes it ok?
Good to know.
yes. It makes it okay to vent
yes. It makes it okay to vent and get my anger out elsewhere. Isn't that what this place is for?
Vent away. No one stopped you
Vent away. No one stopped you from venting about his behavior or how BM is handling all of this.
Your disdain and dislike for
Your disdain and dislike for this child are so obvious via posts, I'm sure it is obvious to people who are around you.
2 posts. In 2 weeks. Or am I
2 posts. In 2 weeks. Or am I wrong?
06/22 and 07/10. I don't know
06/22 and 07/10. I don't know if other blogs were posted and deleted.
SO because I vented twice
SO because I vented twice people in real life will know exactly what i'm thinking? Whatever.
Things from the back story
Things from the back story that stood out (to me):
"...he smells, has no manners and above all is just very un likeable and he is ugly. His nose is to small for his face and his yellow teeth stick out. He is just ugh! *shivers from disgust*."
"...mostly I felt undeniable joy and relief that dh didn't spawn this evil creature."
"Ss will continue to be welcome in our home as dh sees himself as his dad as long as he can behave himself. Kids misbehave so I am talking about ss bullying and being mean to mine and dhs real kids"
Regardless of the sperm donor, OP's husband has been this boy's father for 10 YEARS. I can't deal with this caca today.
Excuse me for venting HERE
Excuse me for venting HERE and not at home to my ss or my dh. I've seen 10 times worse said here without the poster getting jumped on. Next time I'll make my post about daisies and sunshine instead of frustration.
Venting is fine and expected
Venting is fine and expected HERE. That blatant insult to the child's appearance. That's just mean. He can't help what his nose looks like... nor that you think he is "ugly". I hope you aren't teaching your "real kids" this behavior.
Thank you, BSgoinon!
Thank you, BSgoinon!
Seriously, I can't handle the
Seriously, I can't handle the hypocritical crap. Complaining that SS bullies her "real kids" when clearly, she is guilty of being a bully herself. Who calls a child ugly? I will tell you who... a person that is UGLY on the INSIDE!
I was thinking this as
I was thinking this as well.
In the firs blog, it was clear that the OP wanted the kid out of the picture. Now she's upset because he is being removed by mom's actions and not hers.
If the ultimate goal was to have the kid gone, why does it matter which woman put those gears in motion?
Perhaps she was secretly
Perhaps she was secretly looking forward to years of discord. There are those who thrive on it...
The truth is the truth and
The truth is the truth and the kid is ugly. I said that HERE and not to the kid. Why am I being scalded and called bad when a poster here used to call her stepkid potato? The kid was disabled and people were fine with them making fun of her but I say my stepkid smells and is ugly and I get tossed to the wolves? I guess I have to post more to get support.
I've been on this board since
I've been on this board since 2006. With a different user name previously. Regardless, I've never supported skid bashing, or anything of the sort. So...if we are speaking the truth, people that refer to children as "UGLY", are ugly on the inside. No amount of make up or plastic surgery can fix that.
All 10yo's are funny looking.
All 10yo's are funny looking. They've got those giant front teeth. Gangly arms & legs. Goofy grins. That's what makes them cute!
You're truly ugly. Pretty sure we could prove it if you'd post pictures.
C U next tuesday!
I will once again reference
I will once again reference the young man who played Neville Longbottom in the Harry Potter movies. He is now a handsome young man.
I'll have to google lol I
I'll have to google lol I watched those movies a year ago for the 1st time. Don't have a clue who you're talking about.
My boys are the most handsome boys ever! But they all looked funny at 10.
Matthew Lewis played the
Matthew Lewis played the part.
https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=matthew+lewis+then+and+now&spf=1499...
I'm sure your husband doesn't
I'm sure your husband doesn't think his son is ugly. I bet your MIL will disagree with you as well.
I think ss32 is ugly. He's
I think ss32 is ugly. He's short, skinny and has a bird face just like his mother and it doesn't help that his attitude is crap. ss26 lucked out genetically, has a more pleasant personality and looks more like DH.
Right there with ya!
Right there with ya!
What happened to your
What happened to your celebratory dinner?
We were going to celebrate
We were going to celebrate not having to live under bms thumb not celebrate breaking up a father and son.
I have never understood why
I have never understood why you thought confirming that SS was not DH's biological son would make you and DH "not have to live under BM's thumb." If anything it will make the situation worse, because she will feel like she does not have to let DH see his son. (And in my world view he is still DH's son.) And DH will probably have to continue to pay child support.
It just seems odd that you would have a dinner to celebrate any aspect of the situation.
DH has a valid case of fraud
DH has a valid case of fraud against BM.....I know of a case where the father found out 5 years later he was not the father and he sued the mother for all expenses with interest... the judge granted him the pay out and the woman had 60 days to pay..... it did not take the hurt away and he still talks about the little girl - she should be 25 now...
DH could go to court, my understanding is the courts does not worry who's the bio, DH's name is on the birth certificate ... thus can still have visitation, but seems like SS does not care for DH
I'm just so damn angry that
I'm just so damn angry that she is going to get away with this. She messed with dhs life all these years and now that ss is old enough to not need a sitter and do fun things with she is going to yank him away and leave dh devastated. He is heartbroken over this and we don't have the money for a lawyer. What happens if the other guy wants visitation? Does that cut into dhs time or bms?
he's 10. he's not going to
he's 10. he's not going to process this correctly or say the right things to your dh. i'm sorry your dh is hurting.
regardless of how anyone feels, bm was entirely within her rights to tell the kid. BUT it's really $#!tty on her part to start filling his mind with how he won't have to see your dh anymore. your dh is his legal father and at this point it is not likely to change at all unless 'james' pushes to adopt him.
that actually happened to a poster here, and it was terrible for what it did to the entire family and the kid involved.
Does dh have to sign off on
Does dh have to sign off on the adoption? What happens if he says no and can bm collect child support from both of them?
talk to an attorney. many
talk to an attorney. many will do free consults so you can see what you're getting into before making a commitment for legal services.
ETA - and likely she will *not* be able to collect from both men. she can only from the man the judge/court deems is legally responsible.
I'm curious as to what the
I'm curious as to what the real dad's deal is?? So you randomly found out two weeks ago that SS ancestry does not appear to be the same as DH's, and bam.. BM has managed to track this other man down after 10 years and he's jumping at the chance to see SS and be his "dad"?? I mean I guess it could happen in a perfect world, but I'm skeptical. I mean wouldn't this man be demanding a DNA test before he makes plans to meet this kid and play dad?? since obviously BM is a liar??
Bm's facebook is open and you
Bm's facebook is open and you can see this guy and his wife posting all over it and posting pictures of this guy when he was a kid with comments about how they look alike. It looks like this guy and gal have a daughter but that's about all I can tell. I believe its their daughter but they haven't compared her picture to his so maybe its just the ladies dd. I would hope they do a paternity test before seeing ss in case bm was a bigger whore then she let on.
Honestly your DH should've
Honestly your DH should've (since it's Monday now) enjoyed his last weekend with his child. Then said his "Goodbyes" before dropping him off. Right now that kid is having a Cinderella moment where he thinks he's getting a brand new dad that cool and fun and all that jazz. It won't last long and BM will have an uncontainable child with a stranger playing the fun dad who also has no clue what he's doing because he hasn't been around this kid. When that kid realizes his new dad isn't as great as BM has probably led him to believe, he will start asking about his real dad, your DH, again.
I hope so. Dh is crushed.
I hope so. Dh is crushed.
I know some people are
I know some people are offended that I made fun of his appearance. The truth is he is ugly and I hate the little brat sometimes so I vented about him and yes, his looks. I am THRILLED he is not dhs kid because frankly I was afraid my kids might look like ss and I don't want that.So what if that is wrong. I tell the little bastard all the time how handsome he is and how nice he looks and what a great hair cut he has. I vented HERE about him and not to him so NO!! I am not a bully. I just came here for support. I have been here reading for years and I never post because I was afraid of this reaction. Thank you to those that offered advice and everyone else can go away.
Sorry, I can't SUPPORT this
Sorry, I can't SUPPORT this hateful rant. I'm out.
Bye
Bye
You are a disgusting human. I
You are a disgusting human. I am seriously pi$$ed that you are taking up valuable oxygen. Stop wasting our resources.
Talking shit about a child's
Talking shit about a child's look is pretty damn low.
If you take a look at the comments, no one has an issue with you venting about the kid's or mother's behavior. Venting about actions is not the same of making fun of the way a child looks.
Just because you don't say those things to him, doesn't make it right.
Over the years I have worked with several teachers who make nasty comments about the way children (or their parents)look. It drives me insane and yeah, I do call them out on it. 90% of the time the response is the same "but he/she didn't hear me say it" :sick:
Vent away, but don't be surprised when some people take issue with you some of the things you vent about.
"...I tell the little
"...I tell the little bastard..."
Wow. Your hatred seems to be eating you alive. Maybe you should seek therapy to find out why you hate a little boy so much.
If only "people" like this
If only "people" like this would decide to stop hogging up our oxygen...
mine is.........
mine is.........
:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
Both of mine too.
Both of mine too.
My kids are technically
My kids are technically bastards..actually even out of so and sd AND bm.. i am literally the only non bastard in my story lol
All ten yos are weird looking. Op was probably weird looking too at that age. When puberty starts it is not a pretty site.
Maybe instead of focusing on the hate you have for the kid..focus on your husband who has just lost a child...lost a child that he knows will continue to live. Its not like the kid will forget him either. Even if bm takes him away the kid will probably seek your dh out later in life.