DH has decided we're GOING

To Stepdevil14's awards ceremony at her school next week. We originally thought it was for Thursday (yesterday) but after reading BM's email last night, it's actually next Tuesday night.

Two reasons we're both going even after she said she doesn't want him there:

1. So this brat realizes she's NOT the boss of us and we'll do as we please.

2. To show her DH cares about her school achievements and wants to be involved in her life whether she likes it or not.

We're BOTH going, as a married couple and team to also prove that just because stepdevil doesn't want us together, we are and will be no matter what.

And if BM is there? Well then she'll see that DH cares about their daughter's progress in school and chooses to attend school events as he should. And that *I* am his wife and will be by his side regardless of how she or the kid feels.

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Yeah, I'm only going to show

Yeah, I'm only going to show her that even though she demanded us not to show, we're the adults and we will do as we want. She's NOT getting her way anymore. And yes, I'm going to be right there next to him the entire time and it'll burn her ass! We'll be the loudest to cheer when her name is called to go collect her award!

Thanks, and yes I figure he

Thanks, and yes I figure he may need a beer or two after it. He said he wants to get there early and get a spot right up front so she definitely sees her and when her name is called he's going to stand up, clap like a maniac, whistle and yell WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!

The only thing "nice" about

The only thing "nice" about my intentions of going are to see her pissed off face when she sees me standing next to her father cheering as she accepts her award.

This little bitch has gotten away with being nasty for far too long. We're going to prove to her that guess what honey? You do not call the shots ANYMORE.

It'll also prove that DH will be there for her whether she wants him to or not.

I really thought it was great

I really thought it was great that your DH was going to show his daughter how proud he is of her accomplishments and was going to be the adult in the equation. I thought that it was great that you were supporting him in his choice. Then... I read this. Why would you want to be so spiteful? Why ruin her accomplishment by being vindictive.

This is truly sad.

TotallyBogus, Oh he is. I'm

TotallyBogus,

Oh he is. I'm not speaking for him. I am supporting his choice.

But, if you had to deal with how nasty, spiteful, mean and hurtful this girl has been for 2 yrs toward us, you'd feel the same as me.

This little excursion is MY revenge for her lying about me to her mother, her grandparents, her therapist. My revenge for her hurting her loving father over and over again.

Call it sad all you want, but you have NO fucking clue what this girl has done to me and my husband.

ETA: I am not ruining ANYTHING for her (unlike the many trips and excursions we've taken her on in which she's ruined with her nasty attitude or her crocodile tears when the spotlight isn't directly on her 100%). And her "achievement" is not outstanding. She's repeating 8th grade - she FAILED last year and got held back. So she KNOWS this material and SHOULD be getting good grades. It's her second go-round,...

You are still supposed to be

You are still supposed to be the adult in this equation.

What makes me "not adult"

What makes me "not adult" about it? Did I not say that I will remain calm, cool and collected?

My mere presence there is what is going to piss off SD. Why? Because she HATES me. For what? I didn't give in to her every demand to control me and my relationship with her father. I've been nothing but nice to her since the day I met her. She's the one who has fought me being with her dad. Why? Because she wanted him back with her mother.

She's 14, not 4. She KNOWS how nasty she's been. She knows how badly she's hurt her dad.

Thanks Hypo - and you're

Thanks Hypo - and you're right. Let's just reward bad behavior from this entitled little brat so she keeps treating adults like shit right??????

Nope. And if my presence at her awards ceremony ruins it for her - fucking GOOD. You know how many things she's ruined for us? A whole Hell of a lot more than one stupid awards presentation!

^^^^^This^^^^^ Amen sister

^^^^^This^^^^^

Amen sister

I'm sorry if I seem so wicked

I'm sorry if I seem so wicked and all but shit, this kid has done nothing but try and hurt DH and I - so yes, a little bit of revenge by showing up to her awards ceremony after she was so rude to DH telling him not to come, yeah - I think so!

Thanks Rising - I will NOT be

Thanks Rising - I will NOT be disrespectful, rude, snotty, snippy or mean. (all those things that SD is toward me)

I will not show any emotion whatsoever. I'm not there for HER. I'm there to prove to her that she no longer holds the reins. Her rule is over. She's no longer in control.

Wonderful Idea!!!!!

And his dear old dad is just

And his dear old dad is just so clueless. He doesn't see how stepdevil is so damn evil to us, he only sees his precious princess baby granddaughter and how sweet she is to him. Hell, she only calls him when she wants something or is fishing for gifts/rewards. Before she told him of this awards ceremony, he hadn't heard from her since Easter when she begged him to pick her up a few hours prior to the birthday party because she didn't want to be in the same room with DH and I!

Stupid girl. She is getting a rude awakening soon.

Oh how I'd love to be a fly

Oh how I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this one, lol. I'm proud of you & DH for showing a united front to SD & BM, and that ya'll have each others back. Their gonna be uber-pissed, but I hope for your DH's sake SD will see her Father loves her & supports her and maybe they can come to be friends. But I still think you should get her that "special" trophy

LOL special trophy - "Award

LOL special trophy - "Award for the biggest drama queen liar in the world" Yep, gonna get right on that one. She most definitely deserves that.

Oh I'm looking forward to the

Oh I'm looking forward to the cold shoulder treatment. I WANT to get under her skin and piss her off. My revenge for how nasty she's been to my husband all these months. Little girl is getting a harsh lesson that her reign is OVER.

I don't frankly give a shit if she ever comes around again. For DH, of course I do want him to have a relationship with her. But she's burned the bridge with me.

And a bonus would be if DH's father actually SEES her treating us badly and GETS it for once.

Ugh, I like your reasons for

Ugh, I like your reasons for going. Those have been my reasons for going with FDH to many things HOWEVER the sight of SD15 literallly makes me sick and I CANNOT STAND how FDH turns into ooooey gooey SD15 will always be my baby even though she uses me and treats us like shit - which ALWAYS happens at these events. Keep us posted and way to show her you are a united front- I just hate going to shit like this. Good luck red }:)

Yep, every time SD tells Dh

Yep, every time SD tells Dh NOT to do something, we're going to do the exact opposite! Little bitch is going to learn that she doesn't rule us anymore!

Good for you, RW! DH insisted

Good for you, RW! DH insisted I attend all sorts of crap for SD21 when she was in high school and she hated my being there. But as long as her education and/or sports were being funded by my household, she had no choice. She did however show her ass really bad at a rah rah dance camp when we had to go watch her do her thing. She made a huge scene because I was there, right in front of the coaches, parents and kids - it was pretty bad, but I handled it well, actually I think I laughed at her, and she ended up looking like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum.

Oh I HOPE that little brat

Oh I HOPE that little brat has something to say to me. Or BM for that matter. I've been nothing but nice to her and BM refused to get to know me or talk to me so bring it on bitches!

I feel both good and bad

I feel both good and bad about this. I feel SD needs to see that she doesn't have to love or like you, but she does have to be respectful. Hopefully, because you'll be in a public setting, she and BM will be civilized. So it has the potential to turn out ok. I also feel this has the potential to turn out badly. BM sounds like a real winner and be prepared for her (and/or SD) to act horribly.

ETA: What is she getting an award for?

I honestly don't care how

I honestly don't care how they behave. I'll remain calm, cool and collected the entire time and if they choose to cause a scene, it'll be their choice to look like raving idiots.

I don't care if they act horribly or get in my face. I'll laugh at them and call them pitiful.

I have no idea what the award is for, but she's been consistently getting A's and B's (of course because she failed last year so she's repeating the same grade, she better know the material!). She should be in high school and is still in middle.

I think you really need to go

I think you really need to go into this without any expectations. She probably won't say anything to you when DH talks with her. She probably won't acknowledge you at all.

And that's perfectly fine

And that's perfectly fine with me, since I plan to go into this without any type of reaction or emotion shown. I'm there for HIM, not HER. She'll know it anyway.

Thinks this is an awesome

Thinks this is an awesome idea.

Thanks, I hope it turns out

Thanks, I hope it turns out where SD is pissed the fuck right off and I can smile the entire time!

Rising, that's a great idea.

Rising, that's a great idea. Since it's at 7pm, we could easily do drinks afterwards. Likely we'll have dinner before but DH said he wants to get there early so he can get a spot she's SURE to see us.

Good for you guys!! That is

Good for you guys!! That is the right thing to do. This little twit needs to realize she can't control you guys. I wish I could be there to see her face when the two of you walk in!!!

I wish I could see her face

I wish I could see her face too, I'm sure it would be great.

Maybe I'll video it and post

Maybe I'll video it and post it on FB. PROUD stepmommy and all!! LMAO

I think this is absoultely

I think this is absoultely the right thing to do. Good for you guys.

Thanks, DH and I will present

Thanks, DH and I will present a united front and show her that she's no longer the boss.

I also want to add, I think

I also want to add, I think SD acts the way she does because she feels, "well, Dad demoted me in his life, so I'll demote him in mine." You said something about her hurting her loving Dad over and over again. I think she, in her immaturity, thinks that he hurt her, so she'll hurt him in return. I also think she is immature so she hasn't realized, or has but doesn't want to act on this, that this is not the path to healing for her. Forget about DH. She won't get any healing on this path.

She's not 4, but she's not an adult either...she should be acting somewhere in the middle.

Anon, You could very well be

Anon,

You could very well be right. I hope for her own sake one day she realizes what she's missed out on.

We've taken trips, done some really fun things with DD15, have some cool new chinchilla pets at home...all these things she's missed out on because she's being such a little vindictive snot.

"I give up. I'll go have some

"I give up. I'll go have some drinks with some friends instead."

Same here!

StepAside, Since this is the

StepAside,

Since this is the first "event" of hers, ever, I want to be there. Especially just to prove to her that despite her wishing otherwise, I'm STILL here and am NOT leaving.

It would be her preference that DH doesn't come at all, but once she sees ME there - well that's going to be the icing on the cake. FOR ME...I will get pure satisfaction out of making her uncomfortable. She's done it to me enough. Time for a little payback chickie. You no longer call the shots anymore.

She'll learn right quick not to demand anything out of her father anymore. He'll do the complete opposite!

Thanks NoDoormat!!!!

Thanks NoDoormat!!!! That's my whole point. DH wants her to know he wants to be present in her life whether she wants him to be or not.

MY point is to get it through her thick skull that SHE is the child and SHE is not in control. Not anymore. So, she better learn to quit demanding things out of her father, because he's not dealing with that shit anymore!

For DH, he can also say that he's put forth an effort to let her know he's there for her (as he has) so she knows when she's an adult that he was always trying and always there.

For me - I just want to drive home the fact that she's been knocked back into "kid" status and needs to be respectful of the adults in her life. Period. That's all. To watch her get pissed or squirm is just a bonus for me. }:)

I guess the questions beg, do

I guess the questions beg, do you feel you don't expect her to act like an adult, do you agree that in her immaturity, she feels that her dad demoted her so now she's demoting him, and do you expect her to, at 14, have the clarity to see through this situation and fix it? I'm not asking to be hurtful but because so many say, "she's old enough to know better," but shouldn't be in the same level as an adult. So I'd just like to know where you think she should be and how she should be acting-like a child, an adult or somewhere in the middle?

Good question Anon. I

Good question Anon.

I expect her to show respect to her father. I don't care what she thinks of me. I've done nothing but be nice to her and try to be a friend to her.

Sure, she can be angry all she wants that he's moved on with his life and isn't shoving his head up hers or BM's asses anymore. He isn't allowing her to dictate with whom he spends time with or how he lives or what he does and that irks the living shit outta her.

It's been a YEAR since she started this shit. A YEAR. She had a full year to get past the fact that her parents weren't together anymore. Then I came along and she appeared to "love" me until she realized I wasn't going away. Then we moved in together last summer after DH caught SD doing all kinds of nasty things with her boyfriend and actually implemented consequences and punishment for the first time in her life and all Hell broke loose.

I don't know how long it's going to take her to get over the fact that her mom and dad aren't together, I'm married to him now and yes, she's demoted back to the status of CHILD, where she needed to be a long time ago. It's been 3 yrs now. She'll be 15 in a few months...where do you think she should be emotionally now?

Somewhere in the middle. Not

Somewhere in the middle. Not a little kid but not an adult either-an older kid.

Someone said something somewhere on st that I agree with. Not parenting kids and putting them on a pedestal does not make for confident, happy kids. And that can and does take more than a year (or even 3) to fix. It's just that sometimes I feel confused and baffled when people say she's not an adult, but these same people often feel she's "old enough..."

Got ya. Makes sense and I

Got ya. Makes sense and I agree that babying them and putting them on a pedestal stuns their growth as individuals and gives them a control complex at the same time. When SD lost control (i.e. DH took it back), she was knocked off her pedestal and thrown into the abyss of insecurity that she wasn't used to.

I can understand her anger at that as well.

I'm just glad DH isn't allowing her to treat him badly anymore. He's actually going to do something about it from now on instead of just ignoring it.

Thanks Rising. You seem to

Thanks Rising. You seem to REALLY get the whole scenario. You do know that I'm going to be completely poised and "professional". I will NOT be nasty like she is to me. I'll smile and be polite and will not speak to her unless she approaches me first. Otherwise, it's just me being right there next to DH and presenting that united front.

You are here

DH has decided we're GOING

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