I want to but I know DH won't go for it. He already said he's "over it, let's move on" and doesn't want to think about it anymore. She's been so nasty to him for so long now that he expects it.

The worst part was seeing his face LIGHT UP when he noticed she texted him and then fall flat when he read the nasty words she wrote.

Yeah, we were sure since her mother was at work at the time. We're thinking her mother (being a lazy bitch) told SD to text her dad about the upcoming awards ceremony since it IS part of their new agreement instead of doing it herself.

DH's dad has been pushing and pushing DH to reconcile with SD saying "she's your only kid, you need to force her to have a relationship with you whether she likes it or not" and didn't believe his precious granddaughter could ever talk nasty like she does. He forwarded the text after his dad sent him a text about the awards ceremony. Of course, SD still talks with granddad because he takes her places and rewards her...

I'm just so over this bullshit. It's like things are quiet for a while and then she has to pull this kind of shit.

He did text her back and tell her he wasn't coming to the ceremony and that she needs to stop being so nasty and disrespectful. I told him he's lucky *I* wasn't allowed to text her. I'd have let that little bitch have it.

No, her mother told her to send the text because the awards ceremony is tonight and she's supposed to notify him about these things at least 24 hrs in advance. SHE is supposed to do it though, not SD. BM probably forgot about it, went to work and then remembered and instead of texting DH to tell him, told SD to do it.

SD added the nastiness on her own because guess what? She's turning into BM. She doesn't give a shit about DH or his feelings.

SD got pissed last year when DH caught her having phone sex/sending nasty texts and messages to her 13 yr old boyfriend and then we found out she was actually HAVING sex with him and he implemented some consequences for her actions. Took her to the women's clinic, had her tested, made her write essays about teen pregnancy, STD's, how much it costs to raise a baby, etc. She got pissed, ran home to mommy, mommy undid everything, told her DH was being "too hard" on her, and that she didn't have to visit him anymore. She made up lies about DH saying he called her names (slut and whore) and that she was "uncomfortable" at our place. So he let it go all summer and then forced her in October to resume visits. Mortal failure on his part.

Then it was pretty much "dad I want to work on our relationship gradually" but every time DH would make plans with her, she'd blow him off or refuse to come along. And it had nothing to do with me, since I was already so pissed at her I didn't want to be around her anyway. The last time he saw her was October, other than to stop at her house once in November to make Xmas plans that she cancelled on him.

He texted her in March after parent teacher conferences to say how proud he was of her and her grades. She responded with "I don't want to talk to you, this is MY choice, has nothing to do with mom, goodbye". That was the last time she's responded to any of his texts until last night.

She doesn't care about him. She was just doing as her mother said and being a bitch about it.

Oh it's bad and he's tired of her shit. I can't imagine if he were to bury his head in the sand like BM continues to do with her. I'll tell you one thing, we never would've gotten married and I likely would've moved on from him if that were the case.

EXACTLY! And I've told DH's dad (who I have a great relationship with) that he's REWARDING her bad behavior by allowing it. All he wants is for everyone to get along. He doesn't care that she's being so horrid to DH, told DH he has to force his presence on her and she'll eventually "come around". Then again, he's a majorly religious man who forced DH to attend church all his life. Guess what? DH won't set foot in a church unless it's for a wedding or funeral now.

Too late. He was super upset and responded back with something along the lines of "I'm not attending this awards ceremony and you're not to speak to me like this" or "you're not to be rude to me" or something like that.

You say they come back, God I hope NOT!

I know right? I mean, this is his only child, so I can understand he wants to keep the door open to her and let her know he loves her. I get that. But this is beyond bullshit.

Hey Barbie - trust me, I have walked away and she's pretty much "dead" to me. I just have to sit by and watch her slowly destroy the man that I love and that's the part that makes me so mad.

He was SO excited to get a text from her until he read it. I watched him go from SUPER happy to "god I want to kill myself" depressed in a flat 5 seconds. It was horrible.

I agree. I know he won't go for it though. He'll say "but what happens when she really DOES want to work on our relationship but can't reach me to tell me?" And trust me, I don't want that shit on my hands so I'm not even going to suggest it.

He'll continue getting kicked in the teeth by her over and over again because he holds out hope that she'll "come around" one day. I don't see it happening while she's living with BM.

God I want to move!

Cheri, she only did it because her mother told her to. She doesn't care about him in the slightest. And he has gone more than a couple of weeks without texting her. Hell he went a full month during January. NOTHING. NO text from her at all.

Yes, I know he lived his life a certain way with her before me. She controlled him, ruled the roost and was his mini wife. HE did that to her. It's HIS fault he elevated her to that status. But it didn't change the minute I stepped into the picture. It was gradual. She LOVED me until she realized we were serious about each other and her parents weren't going to reconcile. That's when she started getting horrid. She wasn't getting her way anymore, she wasn't the center of attention anymore and God forbid, dadddddy wasn't bowing down to her and taking her orders.

He was living his life for himself now and she couldn't stand that. Meanwhile, she was still ordering her mother around (and she gave plenty of examples of how she was accomplishing this) and mom was eating it up with a spoon. Put her on a pedestal and never took her down.

Yes, her mother has PAS'd her from day one. She refused to allow her to have any type of communication with me outside of me being at DH's apartment (she couldn't control that) and told her that her dad dating without HER permission was wrong. She was doing everything the "right" way, unlike DH, who only cared about HIMSELF and not his daughter's precious feelings.

She hates change. She's lived a sheltered, babied existence. Her mother wanted more kids, DH didn't. She wants to keep SD as young as possible. STILL holds her hand at the grocery store (yes, I've seen them). Still wants to be a friend to her.

No, SD doesn't give a rat's ass about DH. She's made that perfectly clear. And yes, I DO have the balls in the marriage (at least in the beginning, I've since let go of his issues with SD and BM and let him handle things himself without my input). He had no spine. He bowed down to their every desire. He was living HIS life for them even a year after he split from BM. It was disgusting.

He won't get a response from her until she wants something from him. Again, the only reason she texted last night was because her mother told her to. He sent an email to her attorney stating that she's breaking their new agreement by using SD as a messenger even though it clearly states in their new parenting plan that SHE (BM) is supposed to handle all communications regarding SD's events and schedule. NOT SD.

Clydella - that is perfect! I wish he would've responded with something equally as nasty, but he's not like I am. I told him I would've handed her ass to her on a platter if this were me and my kid. Hell, my kid would NEVER do shit like that because she fucking KNOWS better.

Anyhow, he just told me he's been in a great mood since all the paperwork, meetings and new custody agreement was filed in court and he just wants to move on from all of this. Of course, *I* am still livid.

I need to go back to not caring about this brat and what she does. I just DARE her to ever say anything to ME...just dare her. I will not hold back.

Oh yes, I get that. And BM's attorney was shocked that DH wants so desperately to be a part of SD's life and be involved in her upbringing. He said "that's usually not the case and all I hear from the fathers is excuse after excuse about why they CAN'T be there, when in reality, they just don't give a shit".

DH LOVES his stepdaughter (my DD15) because she treats him with respect and genuinely appreciates and enjoys being with him and the things he does for her. He wishes she were his own.

Yeah she's horrible. And yes, I do know DH and BM are responsible for her nasty behavior and what she's turned into because of the way they babied her and elevated her to adult status allowing her to control them.

I'm just over this bitch. And DH was in such a funk after Christmas this past January that he literally had what I call a "mini emotional breakdown" of sorts. He's on a strong antidepressant and when he's distracted or busy, he seems perfectly happy. Right now he's building a huge new cage for our chinchillas (see pics on FB) so that's got his mind all tied up with designing and completing it.

I just needed to vent because frankly, this stuff gets to me more than it should and I need an outlet. I agreed when he went in for his last meeting with BM and her attorney to draft a new parenting plan that if he ever said he wanted to drop the subject, I would drop it, no more words to him about it. Well, that's what I've done with him, but I still need to get it out of ME, you know?

Thanks Sunflower - I appreciate the solidarity. I know I have to let this go but shit, I'm just not ready to!

It doesn't. BM told DH in their meeting with her attorney to draw up the new CO that she will be responsible for letting him know about SD's activities, and not to use SD as a messenger, but she just did precisely that.

DH did email her attorney and let him know what just transpired and asked if he could please remind his client of the new agreement in place and the fact that it was HER insistence that it be this way, she needs to adhere to the new rule, period.

Anon, you make perfect sense, but that's just not how FIL sees it. He's spoiled SD from the day she was born and she's his "favorite". All he sees is that she doesn't have a relationship with her father and he wants to force it upon them both, because that's all he knows is how to force things.

He says he feels sorry for her because BM is such a bitch and she doesn't have the support of anyone else. That's bullshit, by the way. DH has always supported SD and she only turned her back on him when he stopped giving into her commands and demands. He decided HE was in control of his life, not her and yes, demoted her back to "child" level where she should've been all along.

Trust me, DH takes full responsibility for how this brat is turning out.

Their school has a counselor but not a psychologist and frankly, BM is insisting SD go back to the same therapist we had footed the bill for because she has a great relationship with that therapist and feels comfortable with her. No, she just knows that this particular therapist believed every word that came out of her mouth and made her feel justified!

LMAO Miss - you just made me smile through my clenched angry teeth!

I honestly could care less how SD turns out and lives her life as long as she leaves my DH alone!

Thanks Red - I'm on the other side of that though. I hope she NEVER comes around. That girl has been nothing but nasty to us and tried everything she possibly can to hurt DH, ruin our relationship, lie about us, make us look bad to her mother and her therapist...I hope she stays gone for good.

Anon, DH will DEFINITELY forgive her and accept her anytime she does come back. I'll have to see where I am at the time before I'll know what to do.

I know now is that I can't stand the very thought of her returning to our lives. And I don't see her changing while she's living with that horrid woman who birthed her and is so successfully turning her against her own dad.

I get that NoDoormat - I feel badly for him too. But only to a certain extent, you know? I know he handles things differently than I do, but frankly, I would've let stepdevil HAVE it had she texted me that bullshit. Instead he just said something about not attending the event and she needs to stop being rude...

I honestly hope she never comes back (for my sake) but for DH, of course I want him to have a relationship with her.

This just frustrates the living shit outta me.

Thanks Rising. I just needed to get it all out there you know? I know things with her aren't going to change and most certainly not anytime soon.

I'm just glad DH doesn't get thrown into a complete tail spin with her bullshit like he used to. Sure, he had that fleeting moment of happiness to see that she texted him after months of radio silence, but it was so short-lived when he saw the real her shine through in her nasty words.

If she ever grows up and comes around, he'll be overjoyed to forgive, forget and accept her. Me? Not so fast...

Yes, she really is poisoning her daughter's mind against her dad and I, but the girl is 14 (will be 15 this summer), so she's not completely innocent in this. I'm just tired of her.