Well this is my advice. I wouldn't do it you are going to have her in your face everyday and that will cause resentment. I would tell hem how you feel and if he can't except that than that is his problem her should not put you in that situation if he truely loves you. I am not trying to sound harsh but I know from experance what it does. My dhs ex my sk bm use to come and stay over for the holliday. I put my foot down when I found out she was going behind my back and underminding everything I did with the kids. She is no loner welcome here. It caused a big problem with my dh and my sk besides if you sks bm is next door he will play that to his advantage. By playing you against her. If he is mad at you for anyreason he will run right next door and therefore you have lost controle. So if I where you I wouldn't. But if you decide to than I would make sure before you step foot in that house that everyone knows what the bounderys are and she is not welcome unless invited. And that your ss knows you won't tollerate the games.

If mom has not cut his cord yet and BM has got the other end? Where does leave you? Screwed on every level. If HE can't see or understand where you are coming from or even care past his needs. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN.It doesnt matter that he understands where the feelings come from only that the placement of the house makes his new wife unhappy. Will you not do everything to make him happy? He needs to step up and make you happy. Even if it cost him more. Is there a price for love? :? If you want to know the answer to that read some of the ladies and gentleman's post. That should be enough to scare the holy @@@t out of you.

I am in a similar situation.

There are a number of ways to look at this. First, I need some information. How old is the SS? Does he have disabilities? How long has DH been divorced? What is the relationsip with DH and biomom? What does she think of the idea? Is she in a relationship?

It is a rather strange set up and I can see your hesitation. You could say, "Honey, I am not sure living next to your ex is the best idea. How about we look at some other places?" (have 2 other possibilities in mind that cost less and are closer to work or school or are somehow better choices).

On the otherhand, it may in fact be better for SS. This might make your life easier in the long run. If you can be friendly with ex, that is the best. As long as you know that your DH has no interest in her romantically. It will save dh from having to drive to pick him up and he may even spend the night less.

Is your MIL a trouble maker? If so, I would get away as far and as fast as I could. Is she good about not rubbing the ex and how great she is in your face? If so, that is a good sign.

My dh's ex is moving into the neighborhood and I am beginning to accept it. SD has disabilities and needs adult support. She doesn't go in the car with anyone but her parents for the most part. I know biomom is doing this for her daughter but I am worried that she will make friends with my friends or ask for favors above and way beyond the call of duty like she already does.

Good luck!

You wrote your SS but do you mean your DH - because of course your SS would be excited to live right next door to his mother but if it it your DH then tell him absolutely not - that is way too close to the BM - what the hell is wrong with your Hubby that he wants to live that close to BM - she will be up in your business all the time so if you move there expect that to be happening. I live 700 miles from BM and SS and somedays that is too close!!!!! Also living so close to your DH's parents may become hard as well and why is BM living so close to DH's parents - am I reading this all right?!?!?!??!

Yeah you're not Mother Theresa. Let's face it- you will go nuts if you have to do this and your marriage will suffer. YOU are on of the people you have to take care of so make sure to make your needs part of the equation. As women we martyr ourselves too much. This situation sounds pretty rough. Good luck sister.

I'd feel anxious too! Did you get any say in the decision? Are you going to be paying out for any of the bills? Are you very opposed to the idea just because of BM? I still feel unsettled when our BM is around, this woman is a piece of work let me tell you! We have custody of the kids after she abandoned them. If BM is an OK person then you might be able to use that to your advantage. Positively encourage SS in his bond with her and then you could see behavior changes for the better. It's horrible for kids when they get 'new' parents, they are eaten up with bad feelings and guilt too! I think that if the kids are content, well adjusted, and secure they make better progress and the animosity between the adults can be non existent.