How Do I...?
...learn to deal with these little shits, and keep my mouth shut at the same time? I don't have my own kids, and I've never lived with this many people. Even 2 years in, I'm completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of noise and mess I deal with on a daily basis. I was raised to pick up after myself and not leave dishes lying everywhere. I was raised that common courtesy is a common thing, and radios don't get blasted so loudly that others can't use the room above it.
Am I being unreasonable?
Am I really supposed to just keep my mouth shut and my head down until they move out?
Is it even possible for me to not speak my mind for that long?!
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It is your home too, you
It is your home too, you contribute and pay bills I am assuming so therefore you have EVERY RIGHT to speak up! Unless you want a 24/7 miserable existence courtesy of these brats I suggest SPEAKING UP! They are children, they are NOT THE BOSS of anyone or anything! Start getting your thoughts and rules etc in order and have a talk with your SO. ASAP! Before WW3 happens in your house.
Its my house in that I moved
Its my house in that I moved in here 2 years ago, but the thinking of these kids - specifically the two oldest (16 & 20)- is that they were here first. I guess to some degree I don't feel like I have the right to speak up too much. I didn't choose this house and I mostly just feel like a guest. No matter how much my SO says otherwise...
Oh, and we're on WW5 right
Oh, and we're on WW5 right now, I think.
Why do you have to keep your
Why do you have to keep your mouth shut? It's YOUR house.
This is the one thing that I learned quickly - say what you need to say and stick to it. You'll feel better for it and who cares if they like it or not!
I definitely speak my mind.
I definitely speak my mind. That's never been a problem lol. But, getting anyone to give a shit is a different issue. These kids are so disgustingly, abnormally disrespectful and disparaging of ANYONE who is in their dad's life. I have theories as to why, which I'll post when I'm at a real keyboard.
Well, no one. It's been
Well, no one. It's been implied, but never explicitly said...
disengage and get some
:jawdrop: disengage and get some earbuds!!!
clean up after yourself. they are old enough to do so, and i'm sure u've asked many times. if they dont do it, then its DH's job to make sure it gets done, not yours. they are nearly adults and too late for you to take the mom-of-the-house role. leave it for DH to deal with.
as far as the lack of common courtesy, it doesnt matter if you cant hear it! a decently cheap tablet and a set of earbuds and you can read ebooks or surf the web w/ music in your ears, or watch a movie and u wont hear their shit! or just an ipod.
yes, holding it in is unreasonable, so my advice is to just don't. don't anything. dont deal with it, dont fret about it, dont play a martyr, dont clean up after them, just dont dont dont
Working on the disengaging
Working on the disengaging and the earbuds are now (as of the last couple of days) a constant presence whenever I'm out of the bedroom, unless my SO and I are watching a movie or tv together in the living room. Though, honestly, we both prefer to watch in the bedroom. }:)
I really need to work on the disengaging more, though. I let the little shit get to me. And it's tough for me to watch my SO struggle without my help, so I usually wind up letting myself get sucked back into their lives again after a few weeks. I don't know how to not let that bother me lol
But, I think I'm at the point now where I'm ready to say fuck them. It IS possible to disengage from the older two and still take care of the 12 year old (and his 14yo daughter EOW). I can make dinner for them and leave the two oldest to fend for themselves. They'll either learn to cook or survive on cereal.
It will be interesting to hear how things are here when I'm gone for four months...