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When is Cutting in on Two People Dancing OK, and when is it not OK?

RLJ's picture

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts about this. I should explain that I don't see anything wrong with a son asking his mother for a dance at his wedding-- that's perfectly normal and understandable. I suppose it's the way in which he did this. He swooped in on the two of us, yelling, "Mamma!" and whirled my wife away, leaving me standing there empty-handed. I dunno. In light of the history of the tense relationship between this SS and myself, I think that this is a tad insensitive and impolite.

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caregiver1127's picture

I don't think the problems are going to stop - he dated this girl for 6 months and she got pregnant so he married her. Now you and your wife are going to have to help support her as well because as your one blog stated he does not have luck with relationships - you said he usually breaks up after 6 months or starts to cheat on his girlfriends. Now there is a new life coming into the mix and I would have to say I don't think this was a planned pregnancy. I mean come on he is 38 a grown man - it is too bad that he has not looked at his mother's second marriage as the example of what a relationship should be. Your bio states you have been married 22 years - when do the kids finally grow the F up and become adults. People always say it is the parents - but there eventually has to come a time when an adult has to take the responsibility for himself and let his mom be happy. I think if these boys and yes he is acting like a boy really really loved their mothers they would want them to be happy. My ex did the same thing to his mother and now she is dying of cancer alone and afraid.

Good luck with this situation and I hope your son's bride realizes what she is getting herself into because I see a year or two down the road and she is going to be divorced and eventually the BM. Also hope you do not end up paying for their living situation. I know you stated your wife was using joint funds to pay for the wedding and the apartment. If that is the case he should be totally respecting you not dissing you. I know some people feel your nose should not be out of joint but I can envision exactly what he did and he did it to make you feel like an ass - I would have just snatched her back and twirled away!! I know weddings are once in a life time but reading your blogs I would say this is not his last wedding - I just hope it is the last one you have to pay for. He should have been very grateful and appreciative that your money helped this day come about instead he acted like a 6 year old trying to get mommy's attention. Hope you and the wife have made up by now.

RLJ's picture

Things are looking better today between my wife and me. Can't thank you enough for your supportive words!

RLJ's picture

I feel that, indeed, if he had approached me with politeness and the etiquette so important at a wedding, I would have responded completely differently. I am not a drinker, btw, so was completely in control of all my faculties (one poster suggested that I may have been drunk). Just not in control of my temper, which I do wish I could have been. I really should feel compassion for a guy like my SS-- unhappy most of the time, and knowing only 2 friends he could actually invite to his wedding, neither of whom he sees very often. One of these he treated so carelessly that the guy also left the wedding early without saying goodbye(he'd flown over 3,000 miles to attend) and took a very expensive cab ride home to get back to where he was staying.