I really don't have anything to complain about with step life right now. SD is the same and I've been finding excuses to be away from home while she's there...that's been my solution to that.

I don't have very many people in my life right now and don't know who to talk to about this. I feel like my relationship is coming to an end. He says he loves me and just wants to jet out to Las Vegas to get married, but I've been having second thoughts.

This man supposedly has no sex drive. We have sex maybe once a month and we are not old. He says its not me, he thinks he has low testosterone and says he wouldn't ever do anything about it because of the side effects. I'm so very sexually frustrated its not funny and he doesn't seem to care.

Last night he got into bed and I scooted closer to him. I didn't try to initiate anything, but I did give him a kiss. Just a peck, trying to get to do anything more these days is out of the question. When I pulled back, it looked like he almost had a hint of disgust on his face. I rolled over and silently cried until I fell asleep. He had no clue I had this reaction.

I'm tired of talking about it with him. I'm tired of feeling unwanted, unattractive, and just plain unfulfilled. I just don't see myself ever being happy in a sexless marriage. He knows how I feel and he has a way of making it seem like I have a problem and I'm just being selfish.

I'm so tired of failed relationships. I never thought in a million years that a man would make me feel like this. I don't even try anymore. I dress for comfort instead of looks 100% of the time now, I stopped shaving and wearing makeup. It's like we are room mates that share a bed.

I feel like I should end this. I'm devastated. I was very happy until about 6-9 months ago and completely saw myself marrying this guy without any hesitation. And the truth of the matter is that I probably won't doing anything about this for a while yet. I'm just not ready to let go, I need to find a way to.