How old is she? My SD does the constant "competition" thing when she's here too, but she's only 6 and here every other weekend...so hey, I just let her do her silly thing and show her it doesn't bother me cause I get him the rest of the time. So really, it only seems like it's a competition to her.

Oh hmm...I really don't know enough of the story then. I'd say if it makes you feel better, block her out. She is old enough she doesn't need you pretending to be nice to her anymore. As long as your SO is attentive and respectful to you, let her think she has him all to herself...maybe it's all she has.

Oh I wish it was that easy, I have tried really hard for a little while disengaging and it's played right into SD hands.

Been there done that. After about 15 years I had to call peace. I stopped doing things to skids, planning holidays and functions. They got DH all alone but DH wouldn't go without me. He called me his backup. It made me feel good but then again they hated me more and blamed me if he didn't go. So we detached and only do for their children and only the ones we are allowed to have anything to do with. Only one of my skids includes both of us unconditionally. So when people ask us how many kids we have, we say four. There are six, three DH and three mine. We only include the ones who have a relationship with us. I thought by detaching, skids would have what they wanted..DH all by himself. It worked a short time because when they began asking for things and bashing me to him, he saw the light. I get satisfaction knowing their plan was ruined not by me but themselves.

I have disengaged from ysd. If she text me I answer. Yes, her baby boy is adorable; but I don't even get pulled in to that. Don't trust her and never will. If she wants to visit fine; but I don't do the inviting. When they leave, its like an acquaintance leaving. I am not rude, I am not mean; I don't cry anymore or worry anymore. It is such a relief to find peace. Disengagement worked for me.

I have disengaged from ysd. If she text me I answer. Yes, her baby boy is adorable; but I don't even get pulled in to that. Don't trust her and never will. If she wants to visit fine; but I don't do the inviting. When they leave, its like an acquaintance leaving. I am not rude, I am not mean; I don't cry anymore or worry anymore. It is such a relief to find peace. Disengagement worked for me.