If the kids are with each parent an equal amount of time, then I don't think either should pay CS. In the state I live in CS is based on overnight visits, which I think it stupid. We have skids EOW, but we also have them at least 3 days during the week from the time they get off school till about 6 or 7. Meaning DH does the homework thing with them most of the time, and they eat here and they shower here. So our food bill is higher than BMs. DH also pays for at least half of their clothing (usually more), he pays at least half of their after school activities (usually all of it). But because BM has them overnight more than we do, he has to pay child support.

I wish DH would tell BM that since he pays CS, SHE has to feed them and that they can shower at HER house (I get so sick of seeing them go through a whole bottle of body wash and shampoo and conditioner in the space of two showers). But he won't. Because he's an effing idiot.

How about that "system" where BM gets child support but never has skids? I guess its should be called BM system LOL. AND of course, BM never ever pays one cent towards skids expenses b.c. "she's in school and has no one to help her". Makes cents to me BM.

I don't care if one parent makes 3 zillion dollars a year and the other parent makes minimum wage. No CS should pass hands if it is 50/50.

It is actually sick that people would expect/accept money when the other parent has the kid 50 percent of the time too!!

How about into driving their own cars? That gets rather pricey for twin boys... BM pays 0, DH pays 100% in the BM system. BM owes gov. taxes so she can't title any cars right now as they could get repo'ed. And insurance, well BM says "I'm not getting ripped off by the insurance co., that's your fault exDH that insurance is high, you & SM shouldn't reveal everything to insurance..." i.e. DH & SMBF are morons & BM is smart. End of the day, she's right.

I COMPLETELY agree with the OP. And the theory is that the children should have the same "standard of living" in each household.

I think what happens is that there is NO INCENTIVE for BM's to work. None. Or they work part time, or limited hours. And why not when DH is forced by the court to "make up the slack" and "even things out".

Its bullshit.

"GET A JOB BM!!!!"

If one parent makes 60k a year and the other is unemployed but they have 5050 custody, someone has to pay for things.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Yes...both parents. If one can't afford them, then give them to the other parent.

Nope. And if the kids are entitled to the same standard of living at both houses, then the BM should be required to cook and clean at the ex husband's place to keep the same standard of living. Lol

i'm gonna chime in and prepare to have my head on a chopping block. I share custody. 50/50. Worse choice I ever made in my life. My thoughts were during that gawd awful divorce, that children should be able to see their father just as much as their mother.
That SOB ex of mine has done NOTHING but made my life a living hell. He is soooo emotionally unfit to parent it's not even funny. My poor kids.

Anyway, yes this man makes over 7 times the amount i do. This does NOT include one penny of overtime that he soaks up like a sponge every week. The amount of money he pays me a week is pocket change. I work. I work damn hard. But I work for pennies, compared to him.
Could i find a better paying job? I might be able to. But then my income would go for daycare. Some would say that fdh should pay daycare then. Well he can't afford that either. We keep our heads above water every month. And yes, there are times fdh helps me out with my two bios financially.

Yes two parents should be equally responsible for their kids financially. I am. Some would say right now, "no your not you accept the child support." Well ladies, I get $50 a week. NOT PER KID, that is $50 total. In today's age, $50, does not go far. I can spend that at the grocery store for a few days worth of food. That is spent on one trip (gas) to my son's football game. I still have my daughter who cheers, $20 a week, the list goes on.

I'm not comprimising his household with $50 dollars a week. He has no other children, his women works at a univeristy. They are very comfortable. I hate that I am bonded to him with that $50. But when my kids are able to have a birthday present, school clothes, or a few christmas presents, then I am thankful I have that little bit of money.

And I'm not gonna lie, if the support even went down to $20 a week, I'd still take it. He can pay for harrassing me, tormenting me, stressing me, the way he does.

Wrong? I don't care. I am able to give my kids just a little bit because of it and I will keep putting up with that shit for 5 more years.

It comes down to raising your sons daughters differently right from the start and drill into them that when they should be completely independent (emotionally and financially) BEFORE they get married.

None of this bullshit of "the woman stays home while the dad works". Because guess what? You'll get divorced and the Father is screwed and the Mother is screwed.

AND if you want children, you better make damn sure before hand that you CAN financially support them...BOTH PARENTS together AND Separately.

In other words, if you're going to have a baby, make damn sure you can support them if you end up divorced.

Before you buy a house the bank ensures that you have enough $$...yet anyone can have children.

DH paid $1000 per month to BM for one child, and she makes about $20k per year more than I do. SD never wants for anything, but they live beyond their means. BM is always asking for more money, but she has also proven she is not very good with money.

DH and I have 2 sons together. Things have not been going well, and we've been threatening each other with divorce quite frequently. I know that if that happens, even if I get what is by the book what is ordered by the state, DH will consider me a money grubbing bitch like BM, even though I am much better with money, and thanks to me, we have savings set aside. I've said to DH, and feel this is the truth, that if we divorce, NEITHER of us is better off. We will both be hurt financially, and the kids will not be seeing their father everyday. I work from home, so I am able to be with the kids all day.

I guess since I know that it will never be 50/50 custody with DH if anything happened, this isn't exactly the situation stated. I would love to be proud and refuse anything from DH, but I also would not want my children to go without, since they will already be going with less.

I agree with whoever said that there is no one size fits all, so it's a tough situation.

It wasn't until I had my own children that I had a little more compassion for BM (just a little...can't have too much pity who always buys designer everything for herself and SD). A divorce hurts both households, and that just sucks.