It was a interesting weekend.    Dad and I stirred things up and instead of lunch we went out for dinner Sunday.  Lo and behold his son calls, wondering where dad was.  Mind you this was after not seeing him most of the day even though his dad was home all day .  His son of course was hungry and wanted to know what was for dinner.  Dad replied there's plenty of food in the house , make something for yourself.  Then he hangs up and looks at me and tells me his son asks everyday what's for dinner, then he adds like he's going to eat it.  He also mentioned talking it over with his son's counselor because what's with that.   Son has joined us maybe four or five times since August for dinner, never joins us for breakfast or lunch.  We made burritos for lunch on Saturday , with the ingredients the son had asked for weeks ago, we needed to use them up before they went bad, son of course did not come up when the food was ready , instead electing to eat the breakfast burrito that was left over ten minutes before dinner was ready.  Don't get it, maybe the counselor can help.

Disengaging seems to be helping.   I feel calmer and not stressed about it, I reacted approrpriately to the conversation about asking about dinner, I didn't overeact.   I did add that he had told me that the counselor had said he wouldn't be joining us for meals ,  we still ask occasionally .    The bad counselor from a year ago had brought up that we had a boy who wanted to cook and why weren't we letting him cook.  His dad had gone out and bought the ingredients he said he wanted to have to make burritos for his friends.  Never happened.  We used them after they were in the fridge for awhile.  Same thing this Saturday, since these burritos were really good we started keeping the ingredients on hand, his son never made burritos with the ingredients, electing instead to take one already made.  I'm not sure he wants to cook that much.  And yes he has cooked and the world didn't end and no one said anything about he couldn't cook , yes I've offered on several occasions that he is welcome to cook for everyone whatever he wants if he doesn't like what I cook.  Oh well, not going to worry about that anymore.

He's still in school, a good sign.  His sister however has decided in the middle of her junior year of college to drop out and come back home, not sure what she really wants to do , that's fine, people change all the time but you're so close.  She's on break from her college and I guess feels lonely.   Whatever she wants, I just hope she doesn't come and live with us.  When she did before she was a bit better than her brother but not much.  She mostly gamed and slept.   So yes I figure they'll be in and out for awhile yet with failure to launch or inability to stay launched.  

He is still seeing the couselor which I wondered about because he was always home or with friends , I wasn't sure when a counselor visit was being fit in but I think he's down to once a month.  Not sure he's using the gym membership , when I've inquired if he likes the gym since many of my friends go to it , his dad replies he's not sure if he's gone yet.   

We were accused of where's the package from his mother.  I didn't realize that no one had checked the mailbox that day.  I was the last one home so I figured it had already been checked.  Wow there it is.  You live here , you're expecting a package, check the mailbox.  Sometimes I wonder.

There's no school today so we're all home.   He's awake which is amazing but everytime he comes up and I"m in the room he turns around and goes back downstairs or leaves the room I"m in.   Hmmmm.   Its like having a secret guest living in your house that doesn't want to be seen.  If he ever decides to live in someone's house without them knowing I think he's had good practice. 

And in continuing with the disengagement.  He just left, no word no nothing.  He did this last night also and didn't tell his dad.  He's is pretty disrespectful, I wonder if the mom whoose son was with him has any idea.   Of course he's probably polite with her, her son is very polite, always says hi,  lets us know when he's being picked up etc. I'm very proud of myself from refraining saying anything about her son rubbing off on SS.   She'll get the idea.   This is the same son that came over and I was so surprised to see him, I said at that time that SS doesn't let me know when his friends are coming over.  We shall see.  

I am feeling guilty about not wishing him a happy birthday and probably should'lve but I also didn't want to just send a text to someone who lives in the same house and now it seems too late.