Well SS is still living in the house with two other friends both of who are in college and have a job.  In fact they're both managers at said jobs.    SS however does not have a job nor is he attending college.  However, dad feels that buying him a mountain bike because he mentioned he was planning on riding again.  This has happened several times, SS mentions that he's going to go riding again , goes once and then months pass.   He has had three jobs in the past three years all lasting two weeks or less.    One once because of the pandemic so doesn't really count I guess.  However, the other two he was basically fired because one he was too slow and the other he was too slow and didn't like the commute to work.   BM is paying his expenses and helping the boys pay rent and utilities.   She is probably still giving him around $600 a month as a gift in addition to supporting him.   Thank goddness that the mountain bike DH was going to buy him was too far away.  He had found it on Craig's list.  But will probably look for another.  Dear SS does have a mountain bike, he is currently using his dad's who is not riding either.  

So then this brings up a discussion I am having with my BD.   She is 16 .  Due to some mental health issues it has been a difficult year however we are taking it one day at a time and getting through it.    I feel she needs to think about getting a job and learning how to drive.    She has a permit.   I will add that she is trans which does add a bit of complication to the whole issue.  Primarily I don't want her to end like SS.  He did learn to drive but of course does not have a job.     SS did get a GED so at least he did that.  So far BD is finishing HS.  I really want the driving over the job as that will free me up , then I amhoping that the driving will lead to a job as gas has to be bought for the car.  When my now 24 BD was 16 she had a job and paid for her gas, clothing and towards her insurace .  I'm just at a loss what to do.   

SD and SS never had to pay their way for things during the teen years as BM paid for their clothes and entertainment as well as giving them money.      There was a period where she was unable to do as she didn't have a job and we paid for things.  Talking with DH doesn't work and he was at the table when I was talking with my BD about getting a job and helping pay for her clothes and such as well as not staying in her room all day, not sleeping at night but sleeping all day during the summer and so on.