Well it was a interesting Christmas .  SS and SD spent Christmas Eve with their mother.   Christmas morning dawns and DH and I are watching television because that is what you do while waiting for teenagers and young adults to wake up.    They wake up and we have breakfast.   They return to their rooms.  Yes that's right we haven't opened presents yet.  DS comes back down and asks about presents.  I look at husband and ask when we should we open presents.  What I should've said in hindsight is do you want to wait for your kids to come over.  He says whenever,  I take that ( and yes should've clarified) so we open the presents, clean up and everyone enjoys their presents.  About a hour later we're getting hungry for lunch and I start making a light lunch as I had planed on having the main dinner that night.  Just as I get started cooking SS and SD drive up.  Come in and walk right past me and my daughter and go sit down in the living room.   DH comes into the room and announces my kids are here.   Um ok, in the middle of something but we go sit down in the living room and watch them open their presents.  Only once does SD look at me and says thank you as DH had written from both of us on their gifs.  SS has yet to even ackknowledge we are in the room.    I go into the kitchen to check on the food, intending to tell them that they are welcome to join us for lunch.  SS has left and SD is in the garage getting her own lunch.   Our lunch is ready so I  call everyone down to eat.   We all enjoy the meal however.  I clean up and start the ham for dinner and finish the rolls I was in the middle of when his kids arrived.   SD goes down to her room announcing she thinks she'll watch some Ghost Adventures.   We sit in the living room, DH , my daughter and myself.  SD comes up and I invite her to join us , which she does.  I get up periodically to check the dinner preparations and get the rolls which are now done rising in the oven.   Dinner starts pulling together and at 5:30, half a hour before dinner is ready SD announces she is going back to mom's as mom is making a special treat.  Um ok.  She goes back down to her room.   She comes back up in ten minutes to wait for mom.    Dad tells her to enjoy the meal and she announces oh mom not making that , SS is making dinner with the canned meat he got in his stocking.  Um ok,  thought you might like to have dinner with your dad since its Christmas.

SD comes back about mid afternoon and goes down to her room.    Saturday is DH day to cook and he's making hamburgers on the grill.   SD comes up and asks about dinner.  DH is making the hamburgers and says dinner will be ready in about a hour what with finishiing making the hamburgers and heating the grill.   SD flounces off downstairs and comes up shortly after announcing her mother is coming to get her.  

Today SD wanders back here about midmorning.   About an hour after coming home she calls to her dad that she's hungry.  He's like there plenty of food here, I 'm heating a tamale.  You want one.  She says no, she's hungry for pasta.  He says there's lots of pasta here, three kinds in fact along with sauces.  "You mean I have to cook it myself,"  He's like yes.  "oh I'll just order some."  Which she does.   Then once again as I'm making dinner her mother arrives to take her to her house.  

What bothers me most is for months I've made meals, offered to buy and make food they want and more times than not they turn down the food their dad and I make.  Mostly the food I make.   SS and SD rarely joined us for meals, frequently announcing there was nothing to eat here and so on.   I realize they miss their mom's cooking and mom who was living with her sister rarely got to cook but I feel bad.  Mealtimes are a great time to get to know each other and to relax and spend time together.   

SD will be going back with the mother at the end of January so I guess I really should'nt let it bother me.  SS wants to get a apartment with several of his friends.  All of them are under 18 , though SS will be 18 in February.  However, none of them have a job and he is the oldest.  He currently is not enrolled in school and I don't see it happening with the pandemic.  The friends are still in school and planning to go to college in the Fall so I don't know how this apartment will work.  Probably a pipe dream.  I think he doesn't want to go back with his mom but doesn't want to come back here.   

SD left one morning about a hour after she came back when my son was making crepes.  I can't help but wonder if she's mad at that too.      For months, years really, we've offered for her brother to make dinnner, make a meal whatever but he has never taken us up on it.   I'm pretty sure based on her attitude that once again she thinks we didn't let him but here we are letting my son do it.   

Oh well just frustrated and feeling bad.