New mum with some questions
Hello,
I became a new mum around the holidays. With this scare of Covid-19, I am trying hard not to panic, (already deal with depression and axity). My husband has a 16 year old daughter whom live full time with her mum. She comes over ever other weekend. Since we all have been on lock down, she has been coming over more. I am nervios because I just found out that she has been going over to other peoples places more oftern then we thought. My question is, is it right for me to reach out to her mum and request to please let us know if SD goes to someones house? If we are unaware and I suggest SD no longer hold her brother because he is only 5 months old? If no one is taking procautions, then what can I do? Any advise is greatly appricative.
AE
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You can talk to BM and ask if
You can talk to BM and ask if she has any symptoms to keep her home. Also, insist on taking her temperature when she gets to your house.
You shouldn’t address this
You shouldn’t address this with BM directly, no. Get your DH to do that, but I wouldn’t expect BM to be honest about your SD continting to go out right now.
As for your son, you have every single right to tell SD to stay away from him right now, she shouldn’t be going between your houses anyways, especially with an infant there.
I never get involved with custody matters for my SS’s, but when it became apparent this virus was a big deal I told my DH to keep his sons away from our child (also an infant) or I would. I didn’t give him the chance to him or haw, I made it blatantly clear that protecting our baby was my top responsibility and I’d do it no matter what.
You absolutely do not have to let your SD hold your child right now, your rights as his mother supersede your SD’s rights as his sister. If you can keep her out of the house then do it, if not keep her as far away from your child as possible & disinfect constantly. If you’ve got somewhere else you could stay I’d consider that as an option as well.
I wish i had another place to
I wish i had another place to go to avoded any conflic. I just hope when SD talks with his ex, she will understand. If she choices not to talk with us and if his daughter does not want to obey by the rules, then that is something we will have to address then. No use stressing about it at this time.
It seems like teenagers are
It seems like teenagers are one of the groups that is not taking this very seriously. some teenagers with split custody agreements like this are seeing being able to go to the other parent's house as a loophole in the shelter in place orders.
My sd12 lives in a very hot zone and we also have a 7 month old daughter together. I didn't even have to bring this up to my husband he told me that there was no way we were visiting with SD while this is going on. There are other ways to visit like FaceTime. I think it is very important for you and your husband to be good role models to SD and good examples. Explain to her that it is dangerous to have people outside of your household coming and going. also since teenagers are selfish explain to her that you don't want anything traveling from your house to BMs or vice versa.
You should consider your household to be one bubble. Every time somebody from a different household bubble comes into yours it is a chance to spread this virus. I have had friends invite me over and declined and told them that I wouldn't even go visit my own mother right now because her household is separate from mine. I would stop SDS visits immediately.
I completly agree. Yes it
I completly agree. Yes it sucks not being able to hang out with your friends, but if its a law to stay in, then there is a reason for that.
I wish I could but do not
I wish I could but do not think that will happen unless DH does. Plus if I state that I will never hear the end of it... how I do not want her over here blah blah. That is not the case, but some people will see it that way.
You Talking to BM is going to cause problems
It's your DH Ex. He should be handling all communications with the ex. If SD is running around to other people , hanging out with her friends. It up to DH to stop all visitations at your home and with him. Your health is more important that SD visits.
You and your family health should always come first. It's would show no love to you to put in a place where you can get sick. Normally it would be against the law to do that in not,so times. As hIV patience bring in a relationship without there partner knowing of the HIV positive. People were sent to jail for this. Why in this virus different ?